Why does my ex look for me if he has a partner? – Online Psychologists

When a relationship breaks down, for whatever reason, each member of the couple lives their own life, and most importantly, separately. However, when some time passes (we're not talking about a couple of days of breakup) You may receive a message from your ex asking if you want to get back together.

This may sound contradictory, especially if he was the one who decided to end the relationship. Sometimes it can even happen that your ex proposes to you when he has a girlfriend, which is much worse. We feel that he has not gotten over it and that despite being with someone else, he prefers to be with us.

Faced with such confusion, you are most likely asking yourself: “But, if he has a girlfriend, why is he looking for me?” In this article we are going to resolve your doubts and clarify possible Reasons why your ex wants you back.

If you have recently left the relationship or, even if it was a long time ago, it was a relationship that left its mark on him, even if he is with someone else, he may still miss you. This It usually happens when the relationship you are in is not very serious or you have only been dating for a short time.That is to say, there has not been time to strengthen the relationship.

If he misses you, He will try to meet you again and insist in doing it no matter how much you tell him that you have no intention of meeting him.

In this situation you can think what your problems were and what was wrong in the relationship. If they were serious problems or because you no longer felt the same way about each other, It is better to stop talking. If, instead, they were superficial problems or unimportant discussions you could consider giving it another chance.

Of course, if you get back together, you have to stop being with the other person or if you don't get back together, you shouldn't be either, since The fact that he spoke to you means that the person he is with is not able to fill him lovingly speaking.

2. It was you who decided to end the relationship.

This is a fairly common reason. When a relationship ends, it may be because one or both of the members decide to end it. If in this case you were the one who ended the relationship, he is probably still in love with you.

In this case, it may be that he has a girlfriend only pto try to forget you or because he is trying to make you jealous so that you return with him.

To make you jealous can brag about her in front of you, upload photos with her so you can see them, going to the places and doing the things she did with you, etc.

If your decision remains intact and If you don't want to get back with him, it's best to talk to him and be clear about your feelings. and your decision. The sooner you let him know that he has no chance of being with you, the sooner he will focus on his life and his new partner. Although it may sound harsh, It's the only solution there is so that I can forget you.

3. He is not happy with his new partner

It could be that you broke up with him and he immediately started a relationship with a new partner. The thing is that he may have thought that it would be good for him to be with someone completely different from you and he may have realized that it wasn't and that is why he is not happy now. It could be that your relationship is not going well and he misses you.. And even more so if he hasn't completely gotten over your relationship.

Most likely try to cover up his emotional shortcomings with you And now, that person who left you, tries to see you again and meet you. The decision to get back with him or not is only yours, but If he left you and while he's with someone else he's realized that he prefers to be with you, it's not worth it.

4. He wants to have intimate relations with you

Another reason why your ex is looking for you when he has a girlfriend could be because he wants to have intimate relations with you. You may not understand each other personally, but you do sexually. Maybe he doesn't understand his new partner in that sense and that's why he looks for you, because he did understand you. It could also be that he has thought about you or stopped to look at your photos and his sexual appetite has been whetted.

However, you should know that This doesn't mean anything serious or that I want to get back with you.. Once he has maintained the relationship, he will return to his normal life with his current partner and will not want anything more with you.

After knowing why he is looking for you (he still loves you, he wants to satisfy his sexual appetite or he doesn't know what he wants but he misses you) It's time to know what to do in a situation like this. It is not always easy and having a professional opinion, such as that of a psychologist who is an expert in breakups, is often very enlightening.

If you know that your ex has a partner or he told you when you were talking You have to be very careful, sometimes intentions are not what they seem. Even though your feelings for him may be good, his feelings for you may not be. You need to know that your mind cannot guess what your ex really thinks.

This It doesn't mean you act in bad ways with him or you have a paranoid and suspicious attitude, acting as you are is enough. You have to maintain a friendly attitude and express that you have good feelings towards him. If you do this, he will feel that he can be honest with you.

Communication is essential

Having a good attitude towards people, even those who have hurt you the most, is something very satisfying that makes you feel worth a lot as a person. Before responding to your ex, think carefully about each word and don't say the first thing that comes to mind. You don't have to react, you have to answer. Reacting is an impulse and usually ends in disaster, whereas a response involves reflection and intelligence.

Stand firm despite emotional stress. Many times When we talk to our ex, we bring up conflicts from the past that only hurt us. You must be prepared so that your mind does not express those bad memories. Think carefully before doing or saying anything.

If your ex talks to you while he has a girlfriend Be clear with him and have him explain everything to you. If he has a girlfriend, it means he is in a relationship with someone and that person probably doesn't know that he is talking to you. Don't get in the way of a relationship and don't let it manipulate you.

If according to him he only wants you to be friends you should think about it carefully. Because getting along is one thing and being friends is another, it all depends on who left who and the feelings you have for each other.

You have to be sure you can handle the situation and control your emotions.

If after reading the article you have questions, our psychologists at will answer them for you. The first session is free. Try it!