The distrust in the couple This is a common question in . It is not unusual for couples to come to us in which one of the parties justifies the situation. “It’s not that bad,” they say. Or “all couples have problems from time to time.”
However, we should not take these answers for granted. When there is a problem in a couple, there are two options. The first is to work to improve it and build a strong relationshipwhere both individuals learn from the obstacles. The second is to surrender: to let the relationship end and each one goes his own way.
The couples therapy It will help you to know each other better and to know yourselves better.
In addition, you will learn to modify those behaviors that make you feel insecure about your relationship. And you will also be able to acquire new resources with which to resolve present and future conflictsIn short, going to couples therapy will help you take control of the relationship and regain lost trust.
When does distrust arise in a couple?
When two people begin a relationship they establish a series of agreementswhether explicit or tacit. A series of expectations and a future to build together appear in their minds. It is best that these expectations are communicated to the other.so that you can act on them and there are no misunderstandings.
However, many couples take things for granted. They never talk about what they expect from the relationship or the limits that exist in it. They don't talk about past experiences that have hurt them, or future expectations that they would like to fulfill.
In many cases, problems of mistrust in the couple could be avoided if there was a better communication. And when there is no proper communication, it is easier to «betray» those expectations and, therefore, make your partner lose trust in you.
Mistrust can be a real Achilles heel for your relationship. After all, when you mistrust your partner, you experience unpleasant sensations: uncertainty, anxiety, negative thoughts, jealousy, desire for control…
If you don't improve communication and fight to regain trust, then you will most likely doom your relationship to failure.
Having the help of an online psychologist can help you trust each other again. Many couples have trusted to deal with their problems and have managed to emerge stronger from the experience.
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These are the most common reasons for distrust in a couple
External reasons for distrust in the couple:
- Infidelity.
- Constant lies.
- Frustrated expectations.
- Broken promises.
- Inconsistency in things that are said and done.
- Lack of concordance between what the other person says and what he or she does.
- Inability to recognize errors.
Internal reasons for distrust in the couple:
- Low self-esteem.
- Depression.
- Insecure attachment, product of an inconsistent relationship with parents during childhood.
- Dependency issues.
- Prejudices.
How to regain trust in your partner?
Regaining trust in your partner without the help of a professional can be very complicated.
Couples often come to the clinic convinced that they have a particular problem. And, just as often, these couples discover that this problem is the result of other complications that also need to be resolved.
However, here we explain some techniques that can help you regain trust in your partner:
Introspection is nothing else than look inside to understand what is happening to you.
This step is essential for Understanding the origin of distrustYou must analyze whether it arises from an internal cause, such as lack of self-esteem, or from an external cause, such as lies.
Next, you need to analyze whether your partner's betrayal is a verifiable fact or just something you suspect, but that might not be true.
- Redefining expectations
The lack of communication It causes some people to place expectations on their partners that they are not aware of.
To avoid mistrust, the best thing you can do is talk. Tell each other what you expect from each other and share your plans for the future. If any of your partner's expectations are incompatible with your personality, let him or her know to avoid misunderstandings.
And, above all, Keep in mind that your partner is not perfect. Even if you know what you expect from her, she will probably fail at some point. Every human being is living his or her first life. We all experience and fail in our attempts to do things as well as possible.
Your partner has done things that you don't like and, surely, you have done things that he or she didn't like.
You need to be aware of everything that bothers you about the other person, because only then will you be able to find solutions. Once you are aware of this, you must let the other explain his perception of what has happened.
At the moment, try to put yourself in their place. Use your knowledge of the other person to understand why he or she acted the way he or she did. We're not asking you to justify it, but to understand it. Things that are obviously bad for you may not be so obvious to someone who grew up in different circumstances.
Forgiveness is a small gesture that, however, shows a huge I respect towards the other person. It is an acknowledgement of what has been done wrong, yes, but also of the negative effect our actions have on others.
When you ask for forgiveness you convey to the other that you care about their feelings. If you have made a mistake and want to regain trust in your partner, then it is essential that you apologize to him or her, because only then will you be able to get rid of the resentment and start over.
Online psychologist to solve distrust in the couple
The online couples therapy It is an alternative to traditional couples therapy, which adapts to modern times and is as effective as psychological care provided in person. advantages are:
- There are no geographical limitsRelationship problems are highly complex conflicts that require treatment by a professional with experience in the subject. Online therapy gives you the opportunity to contact the best professionals, no matter where you are.
- Save timeGoing to couples therapy means balancing the schedules of three people: both members of the couple and the psychologist. This task is often complicated by imbalances in work schedules. Luckily, online therapy allows you to save time on travel, so you will have more time for the sessions themselves.
- Comfort. You will feel more comfortable not having to leave your home. Often, our clients find that expressing their feelings is not as difficult as they thought, because they are in a familiar environment where they can be themselves. In addition, you will have greater privacy, as you will avoid waiting rooms and coinciding with other clients.
- Same effectiveness as going to traditional therapy. According to studies, there are no differences between in-person psychological therapy and online therapy. The most important reason for online therapy to be effective is that it is carried out under the right conditions and with a professional specialized in mental health.
At we can help you regain trust in your partner. If you want to request a free first session, just click on the button and leave your question.