It is a paradox that in a society in which there is increasingly advanced technology and social networks bring us closer to any person in the world, one of the greatest fears that exist among the population is the fear of loneliness.
The fear of loneliness is a discomfort that is present in the subconscious of people of all agesBut just because it is widespread in all social groups does not mean that it should be an aspect that we should normalise. This phobia may be the tip of the iceberg of a psychological problem that requires specialist intervention.
What is the fear of loneliness?
The main fear that fosters this fear of loneliness is the Fracture of ties with the people around us. What's more, this fear is deeper when your social relationships are consolidated and work in an extraordinary wayWe have the constant threat that this happiness can evaporate.
Living with that constant fear can take the form of anticipatory anxietysince there are a series of negative thoughts and ideas about what can happen to us if we are left alone.
Just like it doesn't matter what age group you belong to, Personality is not relevant when developing this fear.
People introverts They fear being left without friends as they find themselves unable to make new friends.
As for extroverts, their problem is that they want to have a cordial relationship with as many people as possible. This is a drawback when they have to choose the people who bring them into their lives.
If you notice that the fear of loneliness is affecting your self-esteem, or if you feel that it is hindering your daily life, perhaps it is time to put yourself in the hands of an online psychologist.
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Main causes of fear of loneliness
This phobia is determined by one or a combination of different causes that make it appear. Some of the reasons are:
- ShynessExtreme shyness is a great burden for this kind of people since they do not find it easy to meet people or they generate rejection.
- Cultural differences. They can develop in people who have emigrated to another country. It usually happens to older people, since the people they are surrounded by are usually from older generations.
- Idealization of loveMany people who have love as the center of their lives develop a fear of being alone, because they believe that their value depends on having a partner.
- Low self-esteemThey anticipate the possibility of being alone, because they believe that they are not worth enough for people to continue being by their side.
- Loss of health. People who suffer from health problems, whether physical or psychological, fear that their environment will have to bear the burden of their care. This fear makes them expect that those around them will get fed up and abandon them.
Consequences of this fear in couple relationships
- Give up the possibility of finding a relationship that gives us more happiness or satisfaction. Not only do we avoid changing partners, even if we see that the future looks bad with that person. We prefer that everything stays the same without even changing different habits or behaviors, increasing the toxicity in the relationship as time goes by.
- Tendency to think that being in a relationship brings you true and only happiness. An absolute fallacy. The simple fact of being in a romantic relationship is not going to bring us the benefits that the self-knowledge and the exploration of our capabilities. Your happiness depends, in large part, on you.
How do I solve this phobia?
- Learn to question the thoughts you accept as truths unquestionable about your future and what the next few months or years will look like. Transform negative beliefs into alternative ideas.
- Understand What are your fears and why do they appear in certain situations?. Perhaps the solution to one of those fears is as easy as a sincere and calm conversation with a friend.
- You must make a assessment exercise with your fears. Why do you have such a great fear of loneliness? Previous experiences that have happened to you or someone close to you are usually the main reasons why we acquire this fear of loneliness.
- Face your phobias. Knowing how to expose yourself to different contexts, especially those that you are terrified of doing alone. This exercise will help you control and manage your emotions in the future. It will reduce your levels of anxiety and uncertainty, which is always a relief for your mental health.
- Prioritize your life before that of others. Social pressure and “what will they say” is the most influential factor in this type of fear. We condition our life based on the opinions of others. You must give priority to how good or bad you feel, regardless of what others say. However, this does not mean that you do what you want regardless of any social or legal convention. Your actions must be adequately argued and rationalized to explain them.
- If you don't see an exit nearby, ask for helpIf you are aware that this fear is holding back your evolution, you should go to a specialist who can offer you different manuals and models to help you develop as a person.
At we have been helping patients from all over the world find their well-being since 2012. We were pioneers in offering online therapy and that is why we know that it is an economical, but equally effective, alternative to traditional therapies.
To date, more than 1,600 people have turned to us to find an online psychologist. If you also want to try our services, you can request a consultation First briefing free.