The feeling that invades your body after suffering a abandonment It is the cruelest thing that can happen to a person. It doesn't matter if the abandonment is from a family member, from your partner or if it happens when your friends leave you aside: It is a painful sensation that is difficult to manage.
Friends are one of the key parts in our lives and one of the few things we choose. Family is not chosen and love is conditioned by the well-known «crush» that makes you blind with someone in particular. But your group of friends is your choice.
When you think that you could not have chosen your companions better on the journey of life, you begin to realize that your friends are behind you or they leave you out when it comes to making certain plans.
How do you deal with the feeling of loneliness that takes over when this happens? We'll tell you how.
Why do your friends leave you out?
If your friends leave you, especially if they do so without explanation, the abandonment will likely raise a lot of questions that are difficult to answer.
Although each relationship is a world, there are some reasons relatively common reasons why this distancing can occur:
- He Time passes and people evolve. Maybe you no longer share the same interests or culture.
- The maturity It is a phase of life that does not have to happen at a certain age. Being at different stages of your personal development is another reason why friendships can drift apart.
- That your friend has met another group of people who do share their new tastes and values.
- The romantic relationships This is one of the reasons why some people push their friends away from their lives. In many cases, this distancing occurs as a recommendation from the partner they have just met.
- One of the options is that a conflict that has remained unresolved in the group has produced this separation in the group.
What to do if your friends leave you out?
It's normal for you to feel frustration and anger towards your friends if you are aware that they are turning their back on you. This series of instructions can help you seek explanations and start a new path with other friends:
- Find the reason: through an exercise of revision From your actions and experiences in your group of friends, you can find the main reason for the distance.
- Talk to them about it: dialogue with your friends about why this rupture of ties between you is occurring. Both parties must carry out an exercise of listening and understanding to assess the different reasons, in search of common grounds of understanding.
- Be patient: Anger, frustration or rage can take over your actions and cause actions with an impact that you did not want. You must arm yourself with calm Because the other person might come to you if they want to fix the problem.
- Give it your all: Friendship is a relationship that has to be nurtured through share experiences and plans in common.
If none of this works, perhaps you should seek help from an online psychologist to heal the wounds caused by abandonment.
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How to manage the emotional pain of abandonment?
- Assume Breaking up: You have to accept that your relationship with your friends should not continue and take different paths. Unnecessarily prolonging the relationship can only make the problem worse.
- Remember the good times: It is useless that now you only hold on to the negative periods that this friendship has brought you. Keep all the moments you enjoyed together, as an example of what you want to repeat with your new friends.
- Change of scenery: Visit different places you never used to go to. Maybe just by seeing a little beyond the world around youyou can find people who complement you and want to be part of your closest circle.
- Increase your self-esteem: the distancing of your friends may affect to your self-esteem levels, because this part of our mind is reinforced by the experiences we have had.
How do we know if we have the right friends?
These are some of the clues that serve as a thermometer to know if the relationship with our friends is going through a good moment:
- Pay attention when you speak: It is one of the most important signals. In addition, the other party will want grasp why you feel that way and it is an indication of how comfortable you are.
- He wants to make plans with you: the group of friends is comfortable and look for different activities to do together, in order to spend as much time together as possible.
- They are there in good times and bad timess: They are the first people you want to tell that you have gotten a new job or that a tragic situation has happened to you. Your friends They will know what to do for your emotional well-being.
- You share certain values: you may differ on some issues, but in general, you have instilled a similar view on life.
How do we cultivate new friendships?
The main skill to create new friends is extroversionIt is much easier to meet people if you are open with others, you have ease of conversation and you have one active life that invites you to meet different people.
This issue is more complicated when it comes to a introverted personwith excessive shyness. In this case, you should do a series of exercises to develop your ability to meet new people and not stay still.
Abandonment by friends can be a hard blow in your personal life from which you need external help. The feeling of abandonment can lead you to a depression which would be difficult to solve in the future.
Try a free session with us. At we have been helping patients from all over the world find their well-being since 2012. We were pioneers in offering online therapy and that is why we know that it is an economical, but equally effective, alternative to traditional therapies.
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