This article was written by a man to show what is hidden behind the feelings and character of some of them.
Men are complicated beings too. We have problems when it comes to communicating what we really want, we know better. For fear of rejection, compromising our masculinity, or contradicting cultural norms, we prefer not to express what we think. The terrible thing is that we leave the task of “telling” them what we feel to the romantic and melas movies or these incoherent advice magazines. To address that, we put together some important tenets that men always think about women but never say:
1. Please order dessert
There are so many hidden mental complications behind such a trivial (and pleasant) decision as ordering dessert. Hearing the phrase «no, I’m full» after ordering only a salad is the sign of a predictable performance. Selling that idea that they have a stomach as small as it is inhuman only shows that they are not comfortable with themselves. If you are really full (because we understand that we eat more and with fewer regrets), if you really don’t like desserts, well, there is nothing to blame. Be yourself! Let’s order the brownie with ice cream and be happy together. In these cases, as with orgasms, fake is not sexy at all.
2. Make the first move (or at least give us a sign of trust to do it for us)
Even the most «macho» and «insensitive» guy doesn’t want to face rejection. We understand that accepting an invitation does not mean that we have «open doors» to do what we want. But if you firmly believe that it’s not up to you to start the intimate interaction, at least give us signals with your body language: caress our arm, show a knowing smile… Anyway, just give us a clear excuse to ward off the possibility of looking like idiots. It is the only thing that is needed, then we know very well how to continue. Remember, even if we don’t talk much, we still don’t know how to read your minds.
3. It’s okay for them to take control of the situation
From time to time, it is not wrong for women to take control of situations. There are certain patterns of roles and genders that we do not question (chivalry, for example), and we understand that we have to carry some implicit responsibilities. We accept it. It is not wrong for you to take for yourself certain directions to achieve exactly what you want, the ones that will make you happy. Sometimes our nerves are due to not knowing what they like. Yes, it sounds strange, we complain about being told what to do, so the ideal is that they simply take control on certain occasions to achieve what they want and thus everyone can be calm.
4. You are beautiful, stop complaining
Probably a man would not be with a woman if he considers her to be unattractive. We are immensely visual creatures and, although it sounds superficial, the verdict after looking at them for the first time will always weigh heavily. We have very broad tastes regarding the female body. Some prefer the «fitness» but feminine body of Jennifer Lawrence, others go more for the super breasts like Kate Upton’s, others the super thinness of Zoe Saldana and others the curves of Renée Zellweger (at the time that Jerry Maguire and Bridget Jones). So don’t stress. The guy who is with you considers you sexy. That is why, in large part, he is with you.
If you want to change something about your body to feel better about yourself (lose weight, get implants, etc.), do it, but not for us. If the guy you have as a husband, boyfriend, friend with benefits or whatever criticizes your body, it’s time for you to look again at being single.
5. It would be nice if they also gave us a compliment (or two)
Yes, we understand that we are not the ones with delicate feelings. But a compliment from him can help us build our confidence. It doesn’t have to be verbal. A squeeze of the biceps that we have worked out so much in the gym may be enough.
6. We like that they know how to order a drink
There is a lot of difference between a: “could it be that I ask for a vodka? What do I ask with? What makes you less fattening?”, to a: “give me a Gran Reserva with soda and lemon”. The first reflects insecurity, the second a serious and confident girl who knows what she wants. Yes, it is a banal feature, but this dichotomy can be transferred to other instances that go beyond alcoholic preferences. Not being direct and showing so much insecurity to make a simple decision reveals how they will be in other more relevant situations.
7. We like to seduce them, but don’t make it an impossible game
Seduction games are fun. But everything has a limit. When the difficult ones are made to the extreme, the grace is lost. It ends up being frustrating and eventually we won’t pay any more attention to them.
8. Although the visual matters to us, confidence has more weight
We return to point 4: we are visual creatures, therefore, if we are with you, it is because we like you. Also, confidence and personality make a woman physically sexy. It is something almost universal: the way we perceive ourselves will be the way others perceive us. The equation could go like this: a lot of confidence = very sexy / a lot of complaining and validation needs = not so sexy.
9. They don’t need to put on so much makeup
A woman without makeup can be sexier than a woman who puts on too much makeup. We do not criticize makeup, we understand that it gives you security and makes you look and feel good. But everything in its proper measure}. When you find the confidence in the intimacy of showing yourself to us without any makeup, it stops our hearts (come on, we can also be cutesy), and makes it the only way we want to spend the rest of the days with you.
10. You don’t have to like sports
We all dream of a girl who is a sports lover or who can spend a Sunday with us playing Playstation, or playing a game of dominoes with beers. Obviously it’s great that they share with us any activity that involves a lot of testosterone. However, there’s no need to fake it, to buy your favorite football or baseball team’s t-shirt and get falsely excited about Sunday’s game. Again, be yourself. If they really like football, it will be sexier for them to support the rival team than to pretend to support our team out of condescension.
Do and be what you like to do/be. There is nothing wrong with not understanding anything about sports and preferring to spend a weekend doing something else. We will always have our friends to watch the game.
Related note: Unwanted pregnancies increase at Christmas, here.
Font: Report21