What is forgiveness and how it improves your self-esteem when you accept and apply it – Online Psychologists

The act of forgiveness has always been surrounded by myths that have deteriorated its meaning. Forgiving is not synonymous with forgetting, justifying or minimizing the damage suffered.

On the contrary, practice forgiveness consciously can help you achieve greater well-beingForgiving means leaving behind negative feelings such as resentment, anger and thirst for revenge, to make way for empathy and acceptance.

Forgiveness is beneficial because It helps you accept what has happened to you and gives you the opportunity to stop clinging to a past episode and start living in the present.

Forgiveness is a process whereby a person who has been harmed by another actively changes his attitude towards the person who has inflicted the harm on him, leaving aside negative behaviors to put in place more positive ones.

Forgiving also involves freeing yourself from the control that this action exerts over you.. On many occasions we can hold a grudge against the person who has offended us, even going so far as to wish them harm. The thirst for revenge should not be confused with the thirst for justice.: It is completely normal to feel that that person should pay a price for their actions, but that price must be fair and balanced. Wishing someone the same harm that they have caused you will not be beneficial under any circumstances.

Both forgiving and asking for forgiveness imply put yourself in someone else's shoesunderstand what led him to act or react the way he did and under what circumstances his actions took place. However, Forgiveness is not about excusing the harm that has been caused to you. No circumstance justifies harming others and that is why forgiveness does not always imply reconciliation.

Forgiving does not mean forgetting either. You shouldn't feel bad about continuing to remember what was done to you, since remembering is an unconscious and completely natural act. In fact, it is normal for these memories to awaken some pain, even when you have forgiven the person who hurt you. The key is not to let yourself be carried away by the pain to the point that it controls your life and your actions.

Forgiveness is, above all, an act of liberation towards yourself. It means letting go of what has hurt you.actively work to repair the damage and, ultimately, find the mechanisms to recognize the attitudes that have harmed you in the past, in order to avoid them in the future.

Forgiving is not an easy process, but many times asking for forgiveness is not easy either.

Although some people may think that apologize It's a sign of weakness, actually. It implies great strength and maturity. Asking for forgiveness means analyzing how and why you have acted in that way. Forgiveness is, in all its facets, the first step towards change.

You can learn to ask for forgiveness by following these steps:

Sometimes you can hurt someone without meaning to. It's normal. All human beings, without exception, make mistakes. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you failed in an insurmountable way, so Asking for forgiveness does not have to be humiliatingnot a burden.

On the contrary, the act of asking for forgiveness It must be a liberationleaving behind behaviors such as excessive self-criticism.

You will not always be aware of the magnitude of your actions. Therefore, it is advisable ask the other in order to know how it feels and thusUnderstand the consequences of your actions.

Engaging in such a conversation will also deeply benefit the person affected, who will feel relieved at the possibility of letting go of what is bothering them.

It is not enough to know what affects the other, to ask for forgiveness you must be able to put yourself in someone else's shoesFeeling what the other person feels will help you avoid similar behavior in the future.

Self-knowledge is essential when it comes to acting consciously to repair the damage caused. Our actions are a product of what surrounds us and what we feel.Bad behavior can be the result of a bigger problem, whether external or internal. In any case, the help of a psychologist can help you clarify the reasons for your behavior and find solutions.

Once you have become aware of your actions and have understood what led you to act that way, you can begin to work to ensure that it does not happen againBy recognizing your own flaws, you will be able to find the necessary mechanisms to counteract them, not only by using your good will, but also by outlining actions that can help you change.

After reflection, it is necessary make your regret known to the otherYou are willing to change. Expressing forgiveness can be difficult, so you can try writing down very briefly the reasons why you are asking for forgiveness. This will give you a guide when talking to the other person.

Many people equate the act of forgiving with being weak, with giving in to injustice, and even with admitting that the other person has acted correctly.

None of that is implied in forgiveness.

Forgiving does not mean taking responsibility away from the other person and also not expose yourself again to what has caused you pain. The fear can be a great impediment when it comes to forgiving others, because forgiveness has been wrongly associated with the act of letting one's guard down. On the contrary, Forgiveness involves learning: helps you learn what hurts, why it hurts, and how to prevent it from happening again.

Also the resentment plays a major role in the inability to forgive. The feeling of injustice you experience when you are hurt (especially if it is emotionally wronged without a stipulated punishment) can lead you to act out of resentment, reliving over and over what hurt you. This may be normal for a short period of time, but revel in the pain and in Anger can affect you emotionally and physically: resentment can cause an increase in anxiety and the stresscan negatively affect self-esteem and can have serious consequences for your immune system. Research conducted by the American College of Cardiology revealed that feelings such as anger are closely linked to risk of heart disease.

Learning to forgive requires, above all, a commitment to oneself. Forgiveness allows you to prioritize your feelings and take back control of your life.

To reconcile with you forgivenessyou must first understand how this can improve your life: You must realize that resentment keeps you tied to the past and that forgiveness will allow you to live in the present and look to the future. Letting go of unnecessary burdens is a fundamental step when it comes to conquer new heights.

It will also be necessary Identify why this experience was painful for you: Sometimes the pain comes from the action itself, but other times it can come from the person who did it or even from your wish that things had happened differently. Whatever it is, know the origin of the damage will help you set limits in your relationships to avoid further pain in the future. Exercises such as writing down what has affected you (either in the form of a list or in a journal) or expressing your feelings out loud alone can help you better identify the characteristics of your pain.

Finally, you must understand that We all make mistakes and that these mistakes do not define the other person or compromise their worth. We are all immersed in a learning process, so understanding the other, understanding their circumstances and forgiving their mistakes is essential for others to grow as people and to allow you to grow. In addition, having good realistic expectations about others can help you to have the same for yourself and your actions. Forgiving others can be a big step on your path to personal forgiveness and can help you understand that you too you deserve forgiveness from others.

In the face of difficulty in forgiving, forgiving yourself or asking for forgiveness, A psychologist can be of great help.

First, a psychologist will help you lay the foundations of what forgiveness is and what it is not. This will give you the tools necessary so that the act of forgiveness does not, under any circumstances, involve vulnerability. These mechanisms can help you build healthier relationshipspromoting respect for yourself and for others.

In addition, psychological help can help you Eliminate prejudices about forgiveness already exercise empathy not only towards others, but towards yourself. The negative feelings generated by resentment can influence the suffering of stress, anxiety or depression, which will in turn generate other harmful emotions. A psychologist can prevent resentment from leading to greater damage and, in the event that it has already occurred, can find means to counteract pain and prevent it from happening again.

As negative feelings towards others and yourself disappear, psychological therapy can help you develop more positive ones, such as a greater stability and one better self-esteem.