From a young age, we are taught roles and labels that define who we are and how we should behave. However, as we grow up, we realize that these labels and expectations can be limiting and do not always reflect our true essence. Life puts us in various situations where we play different roles, whether at work, with friends, or in the privacy of our own home. So how can we authentically be ourselves in a world that constantly dictates to us how to be?
The flexibility of being yourself
The demands of maintaining consistency in our personalities can be exhausting or unrealistic. Human nature is inherently adaptable. We are designed to evolve and change according to circumstances and experiences. This ability to adapt is not a sign of falsehood, but rather a sign of our complexity and depth as people.
Finding yourself means listening to those internal dialogues that do not create conflicts with your self-image or with your personal duties and desires. It is that voice that calms your anxiety and offers you accessible and realistic solutions to your problems. That inner voice is your wonderful mind working without anxiety and with confidence in its processes and lived experiences that offer you a path of alternatives to act on.
Many times when we find ourselves, we can get lost without finding a new guide until we reach that calm and neutral point where we see the light… appreciate it and value it.
Exercises for self-discovery
The compass of values
Draw a compass and write on each cardinal point a value that is important to you. Evaluate whether these values really guide you towards the destination you want to reach. Do the same with the key people in your life; check whether your relationships support you on your journey towards authenticity.
Johart's window
This exercise helps you explain different aspects of your identity
- Open area: what you and others know about you.
- Hidden Area: what you know about yourself, but others don't.
- Blind spot: what others see in you, but you do not recognize.
- Unknown area: what you and others don't know about you.
Do this exercise and compare your perceptions with those of people you trust to get a more complete view of who you are.
The tree of life
Draw a tree where the roots represent your core values and beliefs, the trunk symbolizes your skills and strengths, and the branches and leaves reflect your dreams and aspirations. This visual exercise will help you see how different aspects of your life interconnect and shape your identity.
The map of identity
Create a map of the different roles you play in your life, from your role in the family to your position at work and your social relationships. Identify how each of these roles contributes to your sense of identity and evaluate which ones truly represent you and which ones don't.
Authenticity in the couple
Emotional closeness in a relationship can reveal our deepest vulnerabilities. Being authentic with your partner requires trust and open communication. Share your true feelings and thoughts without fear of judgment. A relationship based on authenticity and mutual respect is stronger and longer lasting.
Authenticity is an ongoing journey, not a destination. It’s about embracing our strengths and weaknesses, our styles and failures, and living in congruence with our values and beliefs.
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How can we get closer to that encounter with ourselves?
Life can be overwhelming, with so many expectations and responsibilities that we sometimes forget who we really are. But reconnecting with yourself is possible and vital to living a full life. Here are some simple and practical ideas to start that journey of self-discovery:
Take time to be alone
In the midst of the daily hustle and bustle, find time to be with yourself. It can be as simple as a walk in the park, an afternoon reading a book, or a moment of silent meditation. These moments of solitude allow you to listen to your inner voice and better understand your feelings and desires.
Rediscover your passions
What activities make you lose track of time? What makes you feel truly alive? Spend time doing things you truly enjoy, whether it's painting, cooking, dancing, or anything else you're passionate about. These activities not only bring you joy, but they also connect you to your essence.
Listen to your body
Our body is a great communicator of our emotions and needs. Pay attention to how you feel physically in different situations. Practice techniques such as yoga or meditation to be more present and in tune with your body's signals. This will help you better understand your emotional and physical needs.
Set healthy boundaries
It’s important to learn to say “no” and set clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Don’t be afraid to put your needs first. By doing so, you’ll create a safe space where you can be yourself without feeling overwhelmed or exploited.
Surround yourself with people who support you
The people you surround yourself with can have a huge impact on your perception of yourself. Seek out friends and family who support you and value you for who you are. Avoid relationships that drain you or make you feel bad. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your authenticity and encourage you to be yourself.
Practice self-care
Self-care is essential to maintaining emotional and physical balance. Find activities that relax you and make you feel good, such as taking a warm bath, walking in nature, or simply enjoying some quiet time. Making self-care a routine will help you stay connected to yourself.
Accept your imperfections
No one is perfect, and accepting your imperfections is crucial to loving yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others and embrace your own flaws and strengths. Remember that every person is unique and that your imperfections are also part of what makes you special.
Seek professional help if you need it
Sometimes, we need a little extra help to reconnect with ourselves. Don't hesitate to seek support from a therapist or counselor if you feel you need it. A professional can offer valuable tools and an objective perspective that will help you on your journey of self-discovery.
Once upon a time, there was a young wind who felt lost. He looked at the rivers and mountains and tried to see how they moved, but he couldn't find his way. One day, a wise old man told him: “The wind has no fixed form. It flows, changes and adapts. You don't need to be like everyone else; be who you are, and you will find your own way.” The wind understood that its strength lay in its ability to change and adapt. It stopped comparing itself and began to flow freely, finding its true essence.
If you find yourself in this similar situation or know someone who is going through something similar, look for a psychologist specialized in self-esteemdo not hesitate to consult a professional.
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