What do I do if I'm jealous? 9 tips to end them – Online Psychologists

We have already talked about jealousy on another occasion. Whoever lives with a person who suffers from jealousy You know perfectly well how hard it is to try to get logical explanations to sink in with that person; you try to give a thousand arguments why your jealousy is not justified. But it is difficult for a jealous person to stop feeling that way.

In fact, jealous people often suffer a lot when they realize it. Most of them recognize that they don't like being like that, that they feel a lot of suffering and that it's not that they don't trust their partners, it's that They don't trust in others (or in themselves).

If this is your case, these tips They can be very useful to start dealing with your jealousy and, if in doubt, consult with an expert in couples therapy.

Face it, you feel jealous.

Don't try to fool yourself or others. Feeling jealous is nothing to be ashamed of and is something you can do. you can work so that it doesn't affect you or your relationships.

Tell him (but tell him well)

It is important that you communicate to the person who makes you jealous that you feel that way. Specify as much as possible what it is that makes you jealous. feel bad and how it affects you. But don't do it in a critical way, speak from your point of view:

«You dress very provocatively and that's how you make everyone look at you on the street.» This is a very critical expression. Why don't you change it for this other one? «When you dress sexy I get jealous, I love that you dress like that, and since I find you so attractive, I think the others do too and I'm afraid that one of them might like you more than me.»

It is true that the second sentence requires more self-control and self-knowledgebut remember the first point, be honest with yourself and ask yourself why you are feeling jealous, specifically, what it is that scares you.

Listen

Now you have told him what you feel and why you feel that way. Now Listen to what they have to tell you. Chances are, nothing anyone says will calm your jealousy in the moment, but it's important to understand everything they're saying so you can process it later when you're calmer.

Try to be reasonable

There is a part inside you that tells you that all those thoughts are fruit of your imagination. Pay attention to it, try to listen, also to that rational part.

It is about understanding what the other's point of view is and integrating it with our rational thinking. This is going to require a great effort And of course, it won't work right away. But you have to be consistent, little by little your rational side will prevail over jealousy and you will start to see more clearly.

Don't let jealousy control you

You are right. Jealousy is made of fearsand fears are irrational. Do not make decisions when you are under the influence of a jealous attack, try to keep your cool and take four or five deep breaths before speaking or making a decision.

As in the previous point, this will mean a great effortbut it will be worth it. Once the jealousy attack has passed, you will be able to think in a coherent and rational way again, without being under the influence of fear, and then you will be able to make the most appropriate decisions. If you are not able to do so, seek professional help. A psychologist can teach you to anticipate anger and jealousy attacks. and prevent them from happening again in the future. Try a free video call therapy session in .

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Remember that we are all free

For better or worse, everyone should be free to choose which people they want to surround themselves with. That is, if that person has decided to be with you as a partner or as a friend, it is because they have really seen something in you that has made them choose you over others.

Ask yourself what makes you special and different to others. Talk to the person who makes you jealous and try to understand why they are close to you. This will strengthen your bond and strengthen your confidence in the relationship and in yourself.

Don't give up on yourself

Many people who are jealous expect treatment from exclusiveness in their relationships. Not only in romantic relationships, but also in family relationships or with friends. That is not good for either of them.

You may feel that With that person you have enoughwho fills your life and, therefore, you understand that it should be the same for her. But it is not like that, it is good that outside of the relationship, each one maintains his own world, his different friends, his separate hobbies.

Don't give up on be what you are just because you want to be with someone else. Don't expect anyone to do that for you either.

Work on your self-esteem

Jealousy is, in most cases, a reflection of great insecurities personal. If we do not believe that we are really good, we will always feel at a disadvantage and, therefore, the fear that that person will find someone more interesting is enormous.

So it will be important that work on your self-esteem. Consider why your self-esteem is in such a bad place and start by applying these 5 tips to be kinder to yourself.

If you can't, go to an online psychologist in

There are times when jealousy, directly, They don't allow you to think. It has reached the point where you feel that they dominate your daily life and your relationships.

It's time for go to a specialist. In Psychia You can find many psychologists online who can help you work on your jealousy, your fears and your self-esteem. Don't put it off until tomorrow and contact them as soon as possible.

At we have been experts in online therapy since 2012. Throughout our career we have helped more than 1,600 patients overcome various emotional problems. If you are interested in seeking the help of an online psychologist, you can request a free first session by clicking on the button below.

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