The following jokes were selected from international surveys made by poll site One Poll and by the English psychologist Richard Wiseman, who measured how much they made people of different nationalities laugh. Anecdotes that did not make sense in Portuguese were left out.
A woman gives birth to twins and gives them up for adoption. A son goes to a family in Egypt and is baptized Amal. The brother goes to Spain and is called Juan. Years later, Juan sends a photo to his biological mother, who shows her husband the gift and says that she would also like to see a photo of Amal. The husband replies: “But they they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve also seen Amal.”
The boyfriend ask the girl to marry and she says, «I love the simple things in life, but I don’t want one of them for a husband»
A woman gets on the bus with her son and the driver is amazed: “Wow, it’s the ugliest baby that I have already seen!» The woman listens quietly and sits in the back of the bus. Snorting, she vents to another passenger, “The driver insulted me!” So the passenger says, “Go complain to him! Let me hold that little monkey for you.”
A pastor, a rabbi and a priest enter the bar. The clerk says, «Is this some kind of joke?»
I went to buy camouflage pantsbut I couldn’t find them
two hunters are in the forest and one of them falls hard to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are transfixed. The colleague calls an emergency service: “My friend is dead! What should I do?» The attendant replies: “Calm down, I can help. First, make sure he’s dead.» After a brief silence, he hears a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks, “Settled. And now?»
One blonde, suspicious that her husband is having an affair, buys a gun to settle scores. The next day, she comes home and finds her husband with a beautiful redhead. She takes the gun, points it at her own head, but her husband jumps out of bed and begs her not to kill herself. The blonde, hysterical, replies: «Shut up, you’re next!»
The guy asks the gym instructor what exercises he can teach. When answering that depends on the flexibility from the student, he adds: “Oops, I have Tuesdays free!”
“my stepmother fell in a wishing well. I was amazed: I did not believe they worked”
“my therapist keeps saying I worry too much about revenge. We’ll see…»
«I’m in whiskey diet. So far I’ve lost three days”
Sources Sites One Poll and richardwiseman.com
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