«Putting yourself in someone else's shoes» or «don't do what you don't want done to you»… These two phrases, which surely marked your childhood, could sum up what it means to empathy.
Empathy is an essential quality in human beings: if this ability did not exist and was not developed, people could not relate to each otherMany people confuse the concepts of empathy and sympathy, and it is important to know how to differentiate between them in order to recognize those people who have no empathy at all.
What is empathy?
First of all, you need to know what empathy is. Empathy is the ability of people to understandIdentify and understand feelings from the rest of the people.
In this way, the person understands the context and can answerr in the face of the problems that people tell them about. A person can be empathetic, understand the problems that a person is going through, but not have any sympathy for them and not want to help them. Here you can see the difference between sympathy and empathy.
Empathy not only encompasses a person's emotional abilities, cognitive aspect It is also important: knowing how to understand non-verbal language is one of the important parts of developing empathy. Based on the information gathered, empathy will lead to offering the best response that must be compared with the other person.
Main traits of people without empathy
Not having the ability to understand the other person's position, the list of priorities will always start with oneself. In the environment of the person without empathy, there are usually the main victimswho have to endure the constant contempt that the person in question displays by putting himself before everything and everyone.
This selfish character will be transferred to the conversation topics. Their personal victories are always better than yours and their dramas are a thousand times worse than your problems. leadership will revolve around your figure at all times. Even if it is their natural way of acting and they have no intention of causing harm, this lack of interest in external problems or issues will harm relationships.
- Lack of understanding of other people's ideas and feelings
It is the main feature of people without empathy. For this kind of people it is impossible to understand the needs of the people around them.
For this reason, the relationships they establish are usually ephemeral and superficial. In a short period of time, the environment tolerates these deficiencies by providing other skills. However, in the long term, a relationship is unsustainable if there is no reciprocity.
- Distant and with difficulties in relating
They transmit a coldness which is a disadvantage when it comes to maintaining and establishing social relationships. The person with zero empathy will feel uncomfortable in contexts that involve group meetings such as the typical family meals at Christmas time or teamwork, typical of university years.
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The terrifying combination of coldness and incomprehension regarding the feelings of others will generate distrust around them. The environment will not have the guaranteesfor the facts shown, to confide your problems to them because a possible attempt at understanding may hide purposes of manipulation to obtain some benefit.
- Distorted theory of mind
People with some empathy are able to detect the feelings expressed by the other person and use that information to match the situation. People without any empathy, not having developed this ability, have a hard time. Identify desires and ideas of the people around them.
- Narcissism as part of your personality
A selfish character together with the inability to understand the position of other people will be the perfect cocktail for a narcissistic personality. The narcissistic personality is a mental disorder in which people have an exaggerated sense of their own importance, apart from a need for constant attention.
Their values They set the line to follow in life and it is impossible to annul that thought. Their ideas cannot be refuted, and if they are, they will take charge of imposing their arguments (although they can also dispense with reasons to defend their ideas). It's difficult to get them out of your thoughtswhich is why they will have difficulties when it comes to group work or planning tasks.
This rigid mentality will be one of the reasons why this kind of people are full of prejudices. A certain experience will set the yardstick for the rest of your life. These prejudices will create the line between good and evil.
- The end justifies the means
They act to get what they wantwithout taking into account the opinion of people outside. This will make their conduct aggressive from a point of view in which they take a proactive approach, destroying everything that comes their way.
They fail to see the harm they do to others because they do not take into account the needs and emotions of the rest of the world.
- Constant irresponsibility
That lack of remorse and the conception that they have always acted correctlywill lead them to not ask for forgiveness for any of their actions, even if they have caused irreparable damage. Their actions are fully justified in order to achieve a goal.
The absence of empathy is a disadvantage when it comes to establishing relationships with people. If you feel that you cannot understand the feelings of those close to you and you have been able to identify with several of the traits described, it is time to seek professional help to be able to solve these difficulties.
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