Arguing with your partner is inevitable, any small disagreement can cause it. But if the arguments are constant, about the same topic and they cannot be resolved, they can become unbearable and exasperating.
But it can be avoided if we manage to get to the root of the problem. In some couples there is no specific issue, it is about arguing in general. In this case, the strategy to address the problem is different because there are other reasons, such as power in the couple, that fuel the confrontation.
When we stop overlooking aspects that bother us about our relationship, normally after the first few months of the relationship when feelings tend to be stronger, arguments begin. Another possible cause of arguments can be cohabitation, when for example, you live in the same home and you discover things that you don't like too much and as a consequence, they will generate friction.
How to resolve arguments with the couple
A discussion that goes on longer than necessarywhich is frequently repeated and in which a solution cannot be found, requires attention from the couple.
You both must talk calmly about that subject that keeps coming up. If you still have affection for each other and want to avoid discomfort, pain and anger, you have to talk.
It is normal that one is the one who realizes before that already you don't agree on anything and that you jump at the slightest touch. So good communication between the two of you will help the other person to know what is really going on and at the same time he should show his affection so that the other person feels supported.
Some of the most common discussions in couples are due to money, sex or lack of attention from one to the othero. If these are the reasons why arguments constantly arise, they can be solved if you know how to do it.
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- The money: It is associated with power, status, control and dominance. Differences can arise, for example, when one person wants to use a certain amount to invest, spend or save and the other person does not agree. The way to solve this is by practicing empathy. Before defending your position, ask why they decided to choose that. Another way is to have separate accounts for couple expenses and separate accounts for expenses in which each person will decide how to manage their money.
- Sex: One of the most common problems is that one misses another. To prevent this from becoming a bigger problem in the future, you should talk to your partner as soon as possible. Both of you should have enough confidence to talk about it, without reproaches, and find a solution.
- Lack of attention: She is always busy and doesn't pay attention to you. You should find a time to discuss it in a relaxed manner, being honest, pointing out the reason why you want her to pay attention to you without being abrupt.
Why a couple can't stop arguing
One of the main reasons why there is an argument in a relationship is because there are differences that are irreconcilable.
These differences cannot always be resolved, but the other person does not want to tolerate them any longer, cannot adapt, etc. Even if they make an effort, we know that the differences are there and we irrationally end up feeling threatened by these disagreements. For example, they may be ideologically motivated.
The only thing to do is to identify them and exclude them from the conversation. That is, one has to make an effort to appreciate and respect these unalterable differences. It is of no use to focus on the points on which it is possible to reach agreement.
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