Maybe you have heard of transgenerational loyalties or family loyalties and you wonder what it is. Carolina Perdomo, an expert therapist on these issues, explains to us.
Many people at some point in their life feel that there is something unknown that prevents them from achieving happiness, but they have no idea what it is. And it is that sometimes we are the ones who put traps and stumbling blocks on the road, but we do not realize it because we do it unconsciously. Why? In this note we will reveal a possible cause and how to cure it.
What are toxic transgenerational loyalties?
Carolina Perdomo, therapist of the unconscious, astrologer and tarot reader, explains that this term refers to the loyalty or fidelity that a person has in their unconscious to situations that occurred in the past in their generational tree. “Transgenerational” is the word given to everything that has to do with the family past, because it goes from generation to generation. Having cross-generational loyalty means that the person is being faithful or loyal to someone in their family tree.
“We are all loyal to someone in the family tree, without exception; we are all someone else’s replacement. (…) With the family, when someone dies, that position has to be replaced, for the physical security of prevailing in our family, that is, of continuing the extension of what we are in time.”
Caroline explains.
According to the expert, someone new arrives and replaces that position that remains in the family when another dies, and does so through coincidences in dates; for example, being born the same day the great-grandfather was born or gestating the day he died, etc. Generally speaking, you can be loyal to four or five generations back: great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents.
Carolina clarifies that this replacement can be for the good of that person, but also for the bad. If it is for something positive there is no toxicity, but on the other hand, if the loyalty is towards a negative event, the fidelity becomes toxic and that would be when the need to intervene with therapy arises.
“I’ll give you an example, I can be the replacement for a suicide or someone who died very young and left a void in the family. Generally, the people who come looking for these topics is because it is the replacement, the double or the lying one, of a tragedy, (…) that answers the question of ‘what’s going on’: ‘why can’t I have a partner?, or ‘Can’t I have money?, ‘Why am I not happy?’, ‘Why am I experiencing depression?’ “
The therapist points out.
Types of family loyalties
These can be divided according to two categorizations: the “how” and the “what”. According to the «how», we find:
- Double: The person is double someone you know or knew in life.
- recumbent: The person comes to replace someone he did not know because he died before his birth.
And according to the “what”, we have:
- love disorders
- financial mess
- Mental and physical illnesses
A person who is unconsciously chosen by the clan to be the replacement for some family drama, carries that responsibility on his back. When the person becomes aware of that burden, he can begin to let go of it, the first step to healing.
When a person becomes aware of this unconscious information inherited from his ancestors, he understands why he is the way he is, why he acts in a certain way, why things do not turn out as expected. And he can begin to change his own story, because he has the possibility of getting rid of that burden, that is, he stops being faithful and betrays that loyalty, because he understands that he does not reciprocate.
Do you feel that you carry some family burden that affects your life? Write your story in the comments, and share this note on your social networks!