The arrival of the Three Wise Menis a date eagerly awaited by all boys and girls.
In some houses scenes that are part of the collective memory: Girls will open pink boxes of dolls with clothes, paints and accessories. Boys will open boxes of constructions, video games and cars.
Despite society is changingtoys seem to have remained stuck, in many aspects, in a society of more than 20 years ago. Today, women work outside the home, they are not only dedicated to caring for the family and domestic chores, which have been more or less shared among the members of the couple. On the other hand, families are no longer as stereotypedNowadays we find single-parent families, same-sex families, two-parent families, families with foster children, families with adopted children, families with biological children…
If the family model It has changed, why do they continue to sell us toys “for boys” and “for girls”?
The symbolic game
Boys and girls imitate everything they see. They assume that what their parents or closest relatives do is what «should be done,» and this will be the case until they grow up and have a certain critical capacity to question these models.
Around the age of two As children age, they move from a stage of exploration, in which they touch everything they have at hand, to a stage of symbolic play, in which they begin the process of imitation. Between three and four years of age, this type of play will be the main feature on most occasions. This type of play requires imagination and a process of imitation of the adults around them.
During this stage, the marks begin to be marked. gender roles. Normally girls will have a greater tendency to imitate the patterns of behavior emitted by their mothers, and boys those of their fathers. But this is not always the case, since boys and girls are in contact with many other adults that can exert an influence more or less significant in their behavior. And television and movies are a big influence.
The challenge for parents is to help them symbolic games represent a free and imaginative game for their children, moving away from the traditional roles of men and women. In fact, if we left boys and girls between 2 and 3 years old in a room full of games of all kinds, we would see how both boys and girls would end up playing with doll houses as well as racing cars.
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The business of toys for boys and girls
The moment most awaited by boys and girls, judging by the television advertisements, is to hold in their hands the toy catalogs from large retailers so they can start ordering anything that catches their attention.
These catalogues and, in general, toy advertising encourage, in many cases, continuation of the traditional man-woman role and the difference between them. In other words, it seems that we adults are the ones who continue to have this narrow-mindedness of classifying toys between masculine and feminine.
Now some of you might be thinking: but it's true that boys prefer cars over dolls.
Yes, of course it is usually true. But it is not a «natural» preference As they would have us believe, it is rather a “helped” preference. That is, boys have learned that in their role as “men”, the toys that they get are cars, video games… in some way, these are the toys that reinforce their masculine role. The same happens with girls.
An analysis of what children's catalogues tell us
Let's see some concrete examplesToday I looked through children's toy catalogues and it wasn't too difficult to find some very illustrative examples of what we're talking about.
In these pages we can see some Children playing with their cars and trainsThe colors of the toys, like those of the children's clothes, are very vivid, in dark but bright tones, basically yellow and red.
Let's see what the girls are playing.
Here we have the girls. Cooking, tea, ironing and washing clothes… Traditionally feminine roles. Of course, dressed in soft pink colours. A positive note: none of the toys on this page are pink, they have more “neutral” colours.
But let's see what boys and girls play when they are together.
Indeed, Boys and girls go by car or motorcycle. Good for them. But if we look closely, we will see a Fun fact:There are 8 girls and 10 boys in the photos. Of those 8 girls, only 3 are driving, one of them a pink car. All 10 boys are driving. And the other 5 girls? As co-pilot.
That is, the catalogue tells us: of course girls can drive! But if they go alone. If they go accompanied of a child, he will be the one to drive.
Of course, these are just a couple of examplesI'll let everyone draw their own conclusions.
What can we do as parents?
It is true that the media and toy catalogues, as well as films and children's stories, mark a very specific roleeven today, for boys and girls. But parents have a say in the education of their children, and we must do so if we want to contribute to improving their emotional education and creating a more open and less unjust society.
To make that task easier, here they are: some tips.
Tips to help children choose toys more inclusively
1. Let the children choose
Put it within their reach all kinds of toysand of all possible colors. Encourage them to play with all of them, and play with them too. Little by little they will choose according to their personal tastes and preferences.
2. Offer alternatives
Try to ensure that the stories you tell them or the films they watch (the latter is a little more complicated) do not reproduce gender stereotypes. Make up stories where, for once, the princess saves the prince, or where two princes or princesses fall in love, or where the mother goes out to get food and the father takes care of the babies. Be creative and offer alternatives to traditional viewpoints.
3. Convince those around you
Of course, no matter how much effort you put into this equal education as parents, if the people around you are against you, you will not be able to achieve much. Convince grandparents, uncles, relatives and friends that your son or daughter can play with a ball as well as with a Barbie, and ask them to give them a Barbie doll as a gift as much as possible. toys detached from a gender role (a puzzle, a board game, a stuffed animal that is neither pink nor blue).
4. Choose your toys wisely
Games should be linked to the age or maturity of the childnot a preference for colours or what we think they will like. The best thing is to talk to children and find out what their interests are and based on that decide which toys to buy. On the other hand, toys should serve to develop their abilities and skills, choose the toys that help them the most in this.
5. Be consistent
It will be very good if you follow these tips, but what will help your son or daughter the most is to grow up in a environment free of gender stereotypes You will have to be a model for this yourself. Show that regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, you can mop the floor, hang the laundry, hang a shelf or play football (to give a few examples). Remember that you are the mirror in which your children look at themselves.