Did you know that the toxic relationships or «roller coaster» relationships are related to unresolved issues of your inner child? Karen Vinasco invites us to reflect on this delicate topic.
Characteristics of toxic relationships
As Karen Vinasco explains in her talk with the followers of our official Instagram account @vibra.fm, there are some signs you are in a toxic relationship, also known as “roller coaster relationship”. The following are the top 3…
- Do you want to continue in that relationship? even though you know it doesn’t make you feel good.
- does not meet your needs of affection, security or love.
- You don’t decide, but the relationship depends on the decisions of the other person, because he is the one who decides if they are together or not, if they see each other or not, etc.; that is, your opinion is worthless.
Why is it so hard to leave a toxic relationship?
Karen explains to us that it is not easy for us to leave these types of relationships even though they hurt us, because we are replicating the kind of relationship we had with our parents, who often used to be inconsistent, and that’s the model we have in our heads of what love looks like. If you had roller coaster dads, you’re probably going to look for a roller coaster partner.
How to prevent a toxic relationship?
Before answering this question, we have to look at ourselves and remember What is the situation that hurt us the most in our childhood with respect to our parents?for example, if we were afraid of being abandoned, if it hurt us that they did not pay attention to us, etc.
On the other hand, we have to remember how we reacted to that situation. If we calmed down when we got what we wanted, if we got angry, if we didn’t react at all or if we mixed all the previous reactions. Now, we can observe those same behaviors in our love relationship and try to identify what exactly is hurting us with respect to the couple.
For example, if it hurts us too much that he doesn’t call us, maybe it’s because our dad didn’t call us. Once we are clear about what it is that we needed as children and that our parents did not give us, we can decide to give it to ourselves, because It is not something that we have to look for in the couple, and that is the key to avoid «roller coaster relationships».
Finally, it is very important that you know that clinging to a relationship that is not good for you just because of the few moments of happiness that you live in it, is not healthy or fair for either of you, but running away is not the answer either, because what you must do is understand the wound of your inner child to be able to heal it and that is a completely personal process; Therefore, if you are interested in knowing what are the benefits of leaving a toxic relationshipclick here.
Have you ever been in a “roller coaster relationship”? Tell us in the comments of this note, and share it on your social networks!
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