After some articles on “toxic” relationships, written following the publication of various books on this subject by Bernardo Stamataeas, we now return to the subject but, this time, due to the publication of another book, this time, an essay called “Toxic Men” whose author is Lillian Glass.
As He is a “toxic” man
A toxic man is one who produces negative emotions in your partnerbehaves badly towards her, making her feel bad and even with feelings of guilt for no apparent reason, which obviously undermines her self-esteem.
Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that this man “must” always be our partner when this is not true. He could be another family member or any man who, in some way, is part of your personal, professional or social life. In all cases, what is generated between you and this man is a dysfunctional relationship that only causes pain.
What is a women «magnet»
You can consider yourself a magnet woman if a man makes you feel so bad that you can experience emotional and physical changes. or emotions like fear, doubt, guilt or shame. That means you are with a toxic man.
The truth is that There are women who get involved in relationships that will end up bringing them suffering, sadness and bitterness.which is the way to experience love when you are involved in this type of toxic relationship. In the end, it almost becomes a battle that must be won with a partner who “loves you”, that is what they say, but it must be deep down, because they have no problem mistreating you, especially on a psychological level.
And, contrary to what it may seem, the most prominent profile of women who fall under their “charms” are those with maternal and protective personalities, or those who practice professions that focus on helping others.
How does a “magnet” woman feel after a toxic relationship
Since your self-esteem is very low and I'm sure that, no matter how much I write, it's hard to take off the blindfold, I propose a series of questions. YouYou just have to answer, with total sincerity, yes/no, and, in this way, we will ensure that the truth comes to light.
- Do you get sad when you think about him?
- Does it make you feel guilty?
- When he is with you, do you get moody?
- Does he say words that hurt you and then add: “Woman, I was joking! You're not angry, are you?”
- Does he have financial problems and often asks you for money?
- Does he always talk about himself and doesn't pay much attention when you talk about yourself or both of you?
- Does he speak badly about his last relationship as well as other women in his life?
- Do you have unfinished business with your mother or a female relative?
- Should everything always be done their way?
- Are you afraid to say what you think or feel when you are with him?
- Do you feel like you're starting to become more withdrawn with people?
If you answered YES to most of them of the questions, there is no longer any doubt: That man next to you is “toxic.”
Types of “toxic” men
1. The superior competitor. He will always try to get the better of you, questioning almost everything you can say; he will interrupt your conversation, contradict you -even if he is not right- but, to justify himself, he will make a long monologue with a lot of unnecessary and, sometimes, wrong information. Oh! And both in private… and in public with the typical phrase of “Shut up! You don't know what I'm talking about.” that you speak it.” This will lead to arguments every other day because he is not willing to give up control of the relationship as he feels he is superior to you… or any other woman.
He tends to be verbose, which makes it impossible for you to interrupt him. His non-verbal language gives him away, as he tends to lean too much towards the other person, so much so that he invades her intimate area, a space that cannot be entered without permission. His tendency to grab the woman by the elbow for various reasons is clearly observable: to tell her to shut up or to tell her not to even think about interrupting him again.
2. The passive-aggressive volcano that is apparently calm, but can erupt. He is a man who can be sad, happy or angry, but you won't notice it because he swallows it all until he is full and explodes. But, he goes from making you feel like the happiest woman in the world to the victim of his criticism, irony and sarcasm which will cause you to end up distrusting him. In fact, these men are a magnet for «toxic» women, which also exist, like the self-centered narcissistIn this case, they are the ones who seek flattery and physical contact from women.
3. The presumptuous know-it-all. Presumptuous man, he believes he has all the answers and, therefore, if you decide to give an answer his favorite phrase is “Are you sure?” His behavior is offensive, with constant contempt and paternalistic behavior towards his partner. He speaks slowly, in the form of a monologue, since he will never talk to you, but to himself, since he is delighted to have met you. If you ever think of confronting him, he will be impatient, putting his arms on his hips… so that it is clear who has the last word.
4. The seductive, unfaithful liar. A man who is very flattering and polite, perhaps to an excessive degree, will initially cause you to not believe him. You are doing a great job! However, if you have a man at your side who is constantly feeding your ego, speaking softly, softly and slowly, you will end up trapped in his net.
Once you get close, he's more than likely going to start flirting with other girls at the same time. But if you tell him to stop, be careful! He'll have no problem turning the tables and eventually convincing you that you're the one flirting. If you don't let him persuade you, one of the clearest signs that he's cheating on you is when you hear him clear his throat or squeak at the end of his sentence.
5. The control freak, aggressive. He is the type of man who is truly “toxic”, who controls you and tells you both what you should and should not do in an intimidating way, using aggression to do so. So if you do not do what he wants and when he wants, he can become even more aggressive. He clearly seeks verbal confrontation with you because “You are either with me or against me.” If you challenge him, there will be a shouting match with raised voices and you will constantly feel judged. “No, that’s not right. Don’t you listen to me when I tell you how to do things?”
6. The traitor manipulator. This man sticks his nose into all your private affairs as if they were his own in order to get you to do things his way, which in the long run would put him in control of the situation. To do this, he gives you his opinion about how “badly” you are doing things – an opinion you didn’t ask for, by the way – so that he ends up turning what you have said or done around until it turns against you.
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TO nonverbal language (NVL) levelone of its characteristics is pointing with the finger.
7. The negative victim. This man sees life as a glass half empty so he always sees the negative side, instead of the positive and expects the worst. In this way, if things are going well for him, he will try to sabotage them. In the end, the reason is the emotional pain that carries from previous stages and that produces a low self-esteem. This makes him believe that your relationship is not going to work – even though there are no objective reasons to believe this – and he will say words that will hurt you and start an argument, day in and day out.
As for the NVCare common gestures of this type of men, move your feet non-stop either cross and uncross your legs.
8. The indecisive, irritating and lacking initiative. He is a man who is not able to make any kind of decision in his life, and is therefore dragged along by the decisions of others. This causes him to be afraid of living and, therefore, of creating conflicts. In this case, If he feels that a conversation might be uncomfortable, he will stay out of it, even if it is with his partner. And this is what makes it irritating and sometimes offensive, because it can leave you speechless. “just in case…”
9. The egocentric narcissist. His main and, in fact, only concern is himself, since he considers himself the center of the universe and expects you to consider him the same. He doesn't care much about you, only what has to do directly with him. It's hard to have a conversation with him because he doesn't really care what you say or how you respond. He will keep talking until he finishes what he wanted to say, obviously always about or about him. He is usually attracted to vulnerable women as it is easier to feel superior, and then mistreat her with phrases like “If it weren’t for me, you would be nothing” either «Without me, you would be in “the street” followed by phrases that make it clear how useless you are and how grateful you should feel because he “rescued you.”
10. The emotional cold. This man is a man of few words, you rarely know what he is thinking or feeling, if he has any emotions at all. Therefore, you will always have to play at guessing “what he is thinking” – as if it were possible – and you will always be insecure. By the way, don't get your hopes up: he is not going to change over time.
11. The sociopath. He is the most toxic and dangerous man and can cause you great harm. He usually makes a great first impression as he tells you everything you want to hear. He will surely ask you what you like, what makes you happy, what makes you sad… he will go straight to your emotions, something he does not know since a sociopath does not have. However, will have no qualms about lying to you to get what he wants. If you pay attention, you will realize that you are looking at this profile because it contradicts itself more than once in the same sentence.
The most toxic relationship of all is the one in which someone gives more than the other person. The one in which one person expects more from the other, without that equality of mutual respect and feelings ever occurring.
Women “magnets” for “toxic” men
1. I'm the only one who can tame this bad boy. They are women who believe they are the only ones who can change “toxic” men, although they are often wrong.
2. My love is too intense. Women who feel that there is no comparison between the love they profess to a man and his “toxic” traits, and therefore will have no choice but to change… be careful! We have already seen that some will never change.
3. I can fix any problem. They are women who tend to be very successful in their lives…