Tips for staying calm during an argument – Online Psychologists

The intensity of the emotions that one feels during a discussion It's big but Controlling them will allow you to get out of the situation unscathed. And you must be aware that not losing your temper when you face someone is a sign of a positive perception of yourself since people with a low self-esteem They tend to handle exposure to moments when the emotional load is high worse.

If when you enter into an argument you get out of control easily It is probably because you are taking the arguments of the interlocutor or you have directly transcended to the personal level for a too direct or sincere attack, something avoidable.

For start controlling your impulses during a discussion you should analyze how you behave when you have to face someone. All your positions, arguments and even the way you put them together reveal how you handle it. In addition, you must learn to agree if they prove you wrong and give in if the conversation doesn't lead anywhere.

When you analyze yourself internally, you discover many things about yourself and your personality, from which you can gain a clear advantage when arguing, and that is that any personal attack will be of no importance to you as long as you reaffirm that what they tell you is not true.

For example: your boss calls you lazy because you haven't delivered some reports on time, but you are aware of the number of hours you have spent on them and they were still unmanageable. In this case, it is he who is wrong.

Ignore past conflicts

When you argue with someone often, and especially if you don't come out well, you build up anger inside and when you confront them again at the slightest opportunity, you bring up the past. The only thing you achieve with this is frustration, so avoid it.

Be aware of your negative feelings and reduce them

He mix of negative emotions (anger, spite, fear, etc.) can be an explosive mix that destabilizes you in any situation, but especially in an argument.

In this case go beyond self-analysis and Blocks personal arguments that they are throwing at you. If you try to see it from a depersonalized point of view, it will be easier for you to find the solution and Your arguments will have less emotional chargeIf you see that it is not working for you, stop the discussion and take a deep breath, so you will have time to analyze the situation and resolve the conflict in another way.

An argument becomes more aggressive as the interlocutors exchange their respective arguments and these overlap and the tone of voice rises with each intervention. If this happens to you, Modulate your voice and respect the turn to speak. Use phrases like “I understand why you say that, but…”

Additionally, your posture is key when you confront someone verbally. Neither crossed arms nor pointing fingers are going to help you. to come out on top in an argument, much less invade the other person's personal space. With these types of gestures you are perceived as aggressive and it is easier for your interlocutor to feel attacked.

If you know it will happen again…

If you frequently argue with someone or feel that there may be a conflict, analyze the situation calmly and look for arguments in your favor that do not transcend personal matters. You can even choose to talk to the other person more frequently to avoid these types of situations.

However, there are times when couples or relationships at work or with others become complicated and it is difficult to know how to put an end to the situation and get back on track.

If your goal is to fix it and you want to put an end to the spiral of arguments and not lose your cool, a online psychologist from the team can help you. How?

Try a free session and a psychologist will design a personalized treatment for you.