The phrases that psychologists hate hearing from their patients the most – Online Psychologists

To the psychologists We are told, quite frequently, as if it were a sing-song, a series of phrases that, despite being repeated a lot – and often denied – form part of what – in the past – we called popular tradition, to remind us that all professions, including ours, have their “Saint Benedict”, with all due respect to Saint Benedict. Shall we begin?

In a previous post – “Can minds be read?” – we discussed this topic at length.

However, it is one of the most repeated phrases and one that has the most fervent “followers”. Yes, you read that right! That is to say, as much as we insist that we do not have crystal balls that allow us to see beyond common perception, nor a look that allows me to know what their childhood was like, how they get along with their neighbours and what they ate before coming to the consultation, the truth is that some patients are hesitant about a more prosaic explanation. Nobody, absolutely nobody, can read other people’s minds.

In fact, Mental Health professionals rely on tests, questionnaires as well as countless intervention and treatment techniques.which involves work before and after the consultation itself that we would save if we could “read minds” but, it is not like that; yes, true, what a pity! my colleagues must be thinking

Psychologists analyze behavioral patterns, personality traits, psychosocial contexts, and other factors. Based on the objective information obtained through psychological assessment, we develop hypotheses that can predict the future behavior of the patients under study.

We also discussed the topic extensively in an article called “I don't believe in psychologists”. Anyway, just so you know I’m glad you don’t believe in “these things”, really, no hard feelings…

Still, I have some things to tell you, out of affection, of course; first, Psychology is not a religion, a pseudo-religion, nor, much less, a sect. Therefore, we do not have believers, much less “followers,” nor is it a dogma of faith.

It is one thing to believe that the Earth is round, because it has been proven, and then our opinion on the matter is irrelevant because – although we would like it to be flat – it would still be round. Psychology is situated on the same plane; it is based on proven «laws», and our opinion on them is completely unnecessary for the body of Science – Psychology – to be fulfilled.

Psychology is governed by the scientific method: It attempts to analyse reality based on proven methodological foundations in order to reach true conclusions. This does not mean that everything that is “Psychology” is absolutely indisputable, nor that there cannot be methodological errors that can lead to wrong conclusions. Therefore, Psychology is a science that is currently included within the Health Sciences.

Therefore, you cannot “not believe” in Psychology – because it is a tautology – although you can have a critical view of this discipline. If by the phrase “I don’t believe in psychology” you mean that you don’t like psychologists, you are perfectly entitled to have that opinion, but then it is better to explain yourself and not use the typical phrase since it is false, in itself.

We psychologists have different orientations: cognitive-behavioral, humanistic, eclectic, brief, experiential, psychoanalytic… but not all psychologists are psychoanalysts. And, it is not possible to generalize either, and therefore, we could not say that absolutely all psychoanalysts are experts in offering rigorous explanations about the interpretation of a particular dream, taking into account that each one of us is unique, lives in our own circumstances and reality, and it is all of this that is reinterpreted by the unconscious during the dream.

Therefore, it becomes a difficult and arduous task to reinterpret what the mind has reinterpreted and what you have told me in three minutes… up to here, am I missing someone? What I want to say – in a few words – is that psychologists – and especially if we are not psychoanalysts – do not have sufficient training in theories about dream interpretation, since these are based on the analysis of the unconscious and the symbols that appear in the dream.

Obviously, most of therapists We can try to venture a hypothesis about what we believe the patient's dream represents, briefly, and from which an incontestable analysis of the patient's unconscious cannot be derived.

Psychologists are often told, as if it were a refrain, a series of phrases that are not very often repeated – and are often denied – and are part of what – in the past – we called popular tradition, to remind us that all professions, including ours, have their “Saint Benedict”, with all due respect to Saint Benedict. Shall we begin?

I think this has happened to all of us. psychologists. For example, you take a taxi to go some distance, the taxi driver starts one of those conversations that leads nowhere and then he asks you “So, what? Are you a doctor?” While you are still engrossed in your iPad you answer “something like: a psychologist.” At that moment, you think “oh!” and the taxi driver starts bombarding you with a bunch of personal and family stories and expects you not only to listen to him, but also to “diagnose” and “treat” the presumed multiple pathologies before reaching your destination. Once there, he will still ask “So, doctor, am I cured?”

Let's see, have I already told you that psychologists are not magicians and do not perform miracles? I'm sorry, really. On the other hand, you have to think about the burden of responsibility that comes with someone, whoever it is, explaining their problems to you in a hurry, placing in your hands the trust of a better future, when it is neither the right time, nor the right method, nor the right place.

In general, We psychologists are open, empathetic, cordial people. And we have no problem in giving a hand to those who need it. But it must be understood that, just as a doctor is not operating 24 hours a day on patients he meets on the street or a shoemaker does not repair the shoes of those he meets on vacation, a psychologist cannot be permanently dealing with the psychological problems of people with whom he engages in five minutes of conversation in which the word “psychologist” comes up.

On the contrary, it is necessary to know when it is time to explain these problems, and in what way. To make a serious diagnosis, days of work are required, of psychological exploration and evaluation, which requires the maximum concentration on the part of the psychologist.

As we have said before, psychologists have various therapeutic orientations. Among these, Only psychoanalysts psychoanalyzeHowever, we cannot say that Psychology is summed up in the somewhat peculiar ideas of Dr. Freud since, at present, several of his theories are not maintained, such as that all psychological problems in adults are due to sexual dissatisfaction during childhood, to give an example.

So, if a psychologist stares at you, he may be analysing your non-verbal communication – but he is not psychoanalysing you if he is not a psychoanalyst; if a psychologist asks you questions that seem to be straight out of a psychoanalysis textbook, he either knows the theory very well and wants to mislead you, or, perhaps, he is not psychoanalysing you – if he is not a psychoanalyst – but is avoiding personal questions that could endanger the therapeutic alliance, to give just two examples. In any case, it is most likely that a psychologist is not psychoanalysing you.

Let's get things straight; although it would have been a nice touch – because they are very expensive! – psychologists – at least those I know – were not given a couch at the Graduation Ceremony; okay, it was a mistake, but it's done now, what can we do about it? Secondly; not all of us psychologists who graduated that year, do consultations – others are dedicated to HR, for example, so it would be silly to have a couch – and even so, for those of us who work in the clinic, not having a couch does not violate any law, it is not obligatory and does not generate any sanction, for now, it's all about giving them ideas!

The couch was once again used a lot by psychoanalysts by tradition. Some current psychotherapists, whether they are psychoanalysts or from another school, may or may not have one. The couch has no magic powers or any value. It only serves to help the patient relax and express his problems better, and to prevent him from looking directly at the psychotherapist, which could make him inhibited.

If you go to therapy and your psychologist doesn't have a couch but a normal sofa or an armchair, please don't think that he or she is a bad psychologist because of that.and saves you from having to hear the cliché phrase, “where’s the couch?”

This is by far the phrase that makes psychologists' blood boil the most. Does anyone really believe that a psychologist is given the knowledge to achieve inner peace? understand the truth of the universe and be above the discussions, even trivial ones, between people?

True, we are psychologists, but – before that – we are people, normal, ordinary humans, without any power and, sometimes, it is very difficult to be aware of each of the forces that influence our behavior and thinking.

And, therefore, a doctor cannot have appendicitis, a painter cannot need to paint his house and a dentist cannot have cavities. Psychologists are subject to high levels of stress, derived from the emotional burden of facing the problems of patients – which we are supposed to be trained not to be affected by, although this is not entirely true because, in many cases, we cannot avoid getting involved – and those of ourselves.

Still, outside of the…