Normally, people conceive love and the process of falling in love as something beautiful and natural. While some people seek at all costs to find a life partner and feel that great affection, others They avoid love and they run away from it, mainly out of fear.
This fear of love is what is known as philophobia: from the Greek verb «philein» (to love), «philos, filo» and «phobia, phobia», (fear). It is defined as the fear irrational to fall in love or connect emotionally with another person.
Many human beings suffer from a real fear of developing feelings, of commitment to others, of maintaining relationships, etc. They are terrified of the fear of suffering and being hurt, so they create a barrier that prevents them from giving themselves over and falling in love.
The symptoms that philophobics may suffer from are: anxiety and panic attacks, physical and emotional stress, tachycardia, dizziness, sweating, rapid breathing or shortness of breath, etc.
Why do some people suffer from fear of love?
Some of the reasons are as follows:
- Experiences painful experiences previously suffered.
- He failure from a previous love relationship.
- Situations from the past that have not been overcome. For example, the separation of parents or the death of someone close.
- Traumas from childhood, resentment inside.
- Low self-esteem.
- Fear irrational that the other person will hurt your feelings, disappoint you, or abandon you.
- Fear that the other person does not have the same feelings towards her.
- Fear of surrendering.
What behaviors do these people have?
- He will go away and will inhibit when he starts to feel something, or when the relationship starts to get more serious.
- Excuses to avoid meeting up, not answering messages or calls.
- Search for defects in the other person as self-justification to distance oneself from them and the feelings that may arise towards them.
- Discussions and disputes provoked in the couple so that the other person ends the relationship.
- Negatively interprets the other person's actions or any event that happens in the relationship
- Continuous alert in the face of rejection.
- Create your own bubble or barrier to avoid feeling vulnerable.
- Social isolation.
- He never has a partner. Avoid any type of emotional bonding.
- Frequent change of partner. This way, he doesn't develop feelings or cuts them off by moving away from that person when they are about to appear.
- When philophobia is severe, those affected even avoid work relationships, relationships with neighbors…
Help for people suffering from philophobia
Philophobia is considered a problem related to the management of feelings, emotions and anxiety. For its diagnosis and treatment, it is recommended to consult a psychologistwhich will use one of the following techniques or others that it considers necessary.
- Neuro-linguistic programming. Use of behavioral and perception techniques that help modify the patient's thoughts and habits.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy. It helps to achieve a change in behavior, to change negative thoughts into positive ones.
- Hypnotherapy. Artificial dream in which mental processes undergo a change at sensory and perceptual levels.
- Desensitization therapy. It involves creating fake scenarios that simulate real-life situations to help overcome these fears. Exposing yourself to a fear is one of the best therapies to overcome it.
- Medication. In cases of depression or other serious mental health problems.
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