The 6 stages of grief after a breakup, explained by a psychologist – Online Psychologists

Have you just faced a breakup and you can't be the person you are? Do you often find yourself sad or angryAre you trying to lead a normal life but you can't?

Overcoming a breakup and heartbreak It can be a real nightmare. It's normal, you may have already experienced it before or experienced it closely with family and friends. The definitive breakup produces an emotional torrent that makes us live this moment as if the world were ending and our existence no longer had any meaning.

All This process of anguish and overcoming that we go through is known as «grief» and is one of the main causes of psychological consultation in adultsEmotional pain can be much harder than physical pain. Many people get trapped in their relationships as if they were a drug.

He duel goes through different stages with specific characteristics. The best thing to do is always to go to a psychologist, who will help you overcome this agonizing process and avoid possible romantic relapses.

This is the beginning of mourning. The one who suffers it He can't quite believe it, he finds it hard to be aware of the loss and see the new situationIt is characterized by the person denying reality and acting as if everything remained the same (both together).

This phase is most clearly observed in people who have been “dumped.” Those who decide to break off the relationship and put an end to it have probably already gone through the shock phase. And so, those who take the step to break off have already worked out the new situation and do not show that initial shock.

At this point, it is important for the individual to be aware of the emotions he or she is feeling and why they are there. Once awareness is gained, the phase of denial of the loss begins.

Within the phases of grief in the breakup of a couple, we find denial. In it, The person is aware of what he has lost, but does not want to accept it.refuses to accept that the relationship is over and fantasizes about getting back together. A typical example of this phase would be when the person deceives themselves into believing that the breakup may have been a mistake or “a fight that got out of hand” and that therefore everything will be fine again.

The mind only looks for ways to solve problems during this phase, all it wants is to resume the relationship.This phase has an adaptive function, which allows you to gain time to “digest” the loss, to be able to continue fulfilling your routine and obligations and, little by little, become aware of the changes that have already occurred and will occur.

At this stage It is assumed that the person you have loved will not be recovered. The person begins to be aware of how life has changed and will continue to change.The consequences of the breakup are those that generate deep sadness and symptoms similar to depression. along with a negative view of the world, the future and themselves.

However, sadness is a necessary emotion so that the loss can be truly assumed, and it will help to connect with what happened and begin little by little to overcome grief.

The guilt phase is one of the most characteristic. Unlike other grief phases, where it does not play such a leading role, in a breakup, guilt is the main factor. It is one of the most noticeable and most difficult phases to overcome..

This It makes you think about what you could have done or said to avoid losing the relationship.. Obsessive thinking trying to find those responsible for the breakup can lead to psychologically wear down the person and cause a great state of anxiety.

Load with 100% of the guilt in a breakup It is harmful and, above all, very unfair. A couple is a team made up of two people and the responsibility for the breakup is always shared. The healthiest and most honest thing to do is to share the blame, assume shared responsibility and direct your mind towards the future.

It is a “beneficial” or “positive” phase Because if something or someone makes us angry, we avoid it and try to get it out of our lives. And in a breakup, that's exactly what we need.

If we had previously gone through a point where we refused to accept what had happened, now We found a powerful engine to redirect the situationAnger keeps us away from that person, which is essential for overcoming the problem. Having contact with an ex during the stages of mourning stagnates people in the phase of guilt or sadness and it is difficult for them to move forward.

In the future, perhaps we can be friends, but not during the mourning. Now we have to Use anger to improve on a personal level, to think more about ourselves and take care of ourselves.

It is the last phase, in which, finally, a new future is visualized. Now we see the frustrated relationship objectively. Emotions are much less intenseand allow you to see what happened with its ups and downs, like an experience in the history of your life.

It should be noted that The stages of grief in a breakup are neither linear nor correlativesomething that is especially noticeable at the beginning of the mourning process. Not all people are the same and each of us experiences our emotions with greater or lesser intensity.

The more recent the loss, the more changeable the stages of grief are. You can go from stage 1 to stage 3, then to stage 2, then to stage 4. That's why it's best to seek the help of an expert to work through the loss. This way, regression becomes less common and the progression is much faster.

In any case, if the mourning lasts too long and you find yourself unable to manage it, a psychologist online will help you to see things in perspective and rebuild your life to be happy again. It is possible, of course! Leave your question and we will talk.