When a couple is in crisis, before making the decision to end the relationship they usually opt for “take some time”.
Relationships have ups and downs. Sometimes they go through very good times and other times they go through very bad times. When they find themselves in a bad moment can find a solution to the problem by giving themselves time.
If both people love each other and are sure of the relationship, this can be something very beneficialbut on the other hand, if one of the two people is not completely sure, it can be catastrophic.
What does it mean to take time out as a couple?
When a couple has been fighting and arguing for a while, and they don't reach a solution and only make the relationship start to decline, they can make the decision to separate for a while to take a break and find solutions to their problems.
Basically, it's a attempt to save the relationship by acting independently and focusing on oneselfdisconnecting from the fights and looking for the solution to those bad aspects that do not allow you to continue in peace with the relationship.
Normally when this happens, A series of fears and insecurities are created which make the couple wonder if taking a break is the right thing to do or if they are making a mistake. The fear of losing the other person, the uncertainty of what will happen and many other reasons are the triggers for doubts about separating for a while or not.
When is it good to take some time?
There are several cases. Normally, if we are talking about a relationship in which there is dependence, is immersed in the monotony or suffers constant discussionsit is good to give yourself time as long as the couple is sure that they want to fix the problem and continue the relationship in a positive way.
It is important that Both members of the couple are happy being with each otherbecause if you have a relationship it is because it brings good things to your life.
According to the survey conducted by the Psychologist Nayara Malnerothe difference between sexes is wide since the 63% of women think so It is good to take some time as a couple while the 65% of men say no. What could this mean? Are men more distrustful than women?
The thing is that a time to find yourself, disconnect or make plans with friends is good, since probably after that time everything will be calm and it will be like start over again, with much more enthusiasm than before.
It's a way of doing things “clean slate” leaving all the bad things behind and welcoming a healthy and reformed relationship.
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When you look into the future and have doubts about get engaged, live with your partner or marry him/her It is best to take some time to figure out what you want.
Sometimes it may be that Yes, it is the person but not the momentMany relationships take giant steps instead of going slowly, which makes people later have doubts about a more serious commitment.
If a relationship is tracing the path and getting to know it slowly, it achieves that relationship is strengthenedmaking everything clearer when it comes to talking about commitments.
Being separated from your partner can make you realize that it is the love of your life and you want to continue with it or, on the contrary, you can realize that is not what you want.
Infidelity
On the other hand, the infidelity It is another reason why it is good to take some time.
An infidelity is capable of break the trust that has taken so long to achieve in a single second. If there has been some kind of deception within the relationship, but The other party is willing to forgive himsince you think the relationship can be saved, it can be done.
However, the most logical thing is that this does not happen from one day to the next and the other person I needed time to assimilate it.
To do this, you have to leave a time to reflect on whether or not it is really worth continuing with the relationship or if the person will be able to forget it, because many times you want to, but you can't.
When It is not advisable to do so?
However, there are people who use it as excuse to leave your partnerfor having sex with other people or they simply realize that they do not want to continue the relationship. This is very common.
Many people when They want to leave the relationship, but they don't know how or they don't want to cause suffering. to the other person, they think that the best thing is to take some time and they are wrong.
When one of the two parties is still in love and has no intention of leaving the relationship, it goes through a stage of many emotionsfrom illusion to suffering.
If you don't want to continue with your partner, the best thing is confront each other, clear things up and end the relationshipIf you don't, you will create hopes for the other person and the pain will multiply.
What guidelines should we follow when we take some time out?
The magazine Family Relations has published a study that reveals that the 60% of people have had some type of intermittent relationship at some point and that causes significant damage to our mental health, since relationships that consist of leaving and returning an infinite number of times lead to a psychological discomfort which ends up converting the toxic relationship.
For this reason, if the couple wants to continue the relationship and you think there is a solution, it is best to take some time instead of giving up. You should follow these guidelines:
- Knowing exactly what that time is forSpace isn't going to solve a problem. What it can do is improve the relationship by focusing on yourself and disconnecting. The key to a good relationship is independence.
- Fix a dateIt is better to set a time limit, otherwise one of the two parties may I ended up losing interest in the relationship and realizes that he or she is better off alone. There is also the possibility that one of the members meets someone else and therefore stops thinking about his or her partner.
- After clarifying this, each member of the couple has to think about what you feel for the other person.
- Realizing the mistakes what is in the couple and what can be done to improve them.
- Check if it is miss the person.
- Loving yourself. You shouldn't let taking time out get the better of you, you can paint and draw to get your mind working and disconnect.
- Doing the things you like and that you may have stopped doing because you wanted to be with your partner. (This should never be stopped).
- Thinking about the future and in the plans we have to know if the couple is a help or an impediment.
- Rekindle the lost passion. After arguments and fights it is most likely that it has been lost.
Does taking time out work?
Like everything, It depends on the coupleThere are couples who are clear that it can be solved and, in addition, they want it (something very important) while others have already given up on the relationship and do not put any effort into it. These simply put their time excuse to separate little by little from the other person and make it less hard for both of them.
Other couples also believe that the Taking time fixes everything when, for that to happen, one has to be the one in charge of reflecting.
On the other hand, as we have mentioned before, taking time off does not solve problems, it does Communication, which is the basis of every relationship.
Many couples with serious problems think that taking a break will solve the relationship when that is not the case. In fact, When there are serious problems, the worst thing is to give each other space.since it is most likely that one of the members of the couple, or even both, will end up falling out of love and realizing that they are better off alone without any worries.
Taking time out means space to reflect, have time for yourself, think about what doesn't work, what can be changed to improve, etc.
One can love without being happy; one can be happy without loving; but to love and be happy is something prodigious.
Honoré de Balzac
It should also be remembered that No relationship is perfect and they all have ups and downs.The important thing is that you know why you chose your partner and not another, if you miss him/her, if there is a future or not…
We must make a balance between the good and the bad that the relationship gives you and, from there, decide. It is clear that if the bad prevails and there is no solution, nothing can be done and, therefore, there will be more good reasons than bad to continue the relationship and the bad ones have a solution, anything goes.
If after time it has not been possible to solve it, you can always ask a professional for helpThis will serve as a guide and set some guidelines so that the relationship improves and does not remain stuck in a bottomless pit.
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