There are many questions that come to psychology offices about relationships and how to establish one.
Despite the negative connotations that being single had just a few years ago, today more and more people are consciously and thoughtfully deciding be single for a season or even give it up altogether. These are the singles.
Many people are surprised by this decision, they do not understand how someone can prefer the solitude of being single to the company of a partner. But even more people have doubts about sexual relations between singles.
Does not having a partner mean not having sex?
The answer is negative. You can enjoy sex with or without a partner.
There are many single men and women who claim that sex when single is much more pleasurable. Why? For the simple reason that They don't feel tied down.Having the freedom to enjoy each other's bodies knowing that there is nothing that forces you to be with him or her once the sex session is over is, for many, a very liberating experience.
There are many who claim that, in this way, they can focus on your own body During sexual intercourse, let yourself go more, without being so concerned about whether the other person is enjoying it or not.
It's not that easy to get a date
Be singlecontrary to what many people think, is not synonymous with be promiscuousIt is true that, on average, singles They tend to have more sexual partners than married people throughout their lives, but that does not mean that they have more sex, or that it is more satisfying.
If you are single or have you ever been, you will know that The first meeting is never easyAnd that's neither good nor bad, there are those who love these kinds of strong emotions, and those who don't, and try to avoid them.
The step of making an appointment can be complicated enough. Facing the possibility of a refusal It always produces some vertigo, but it is worth taking the risk. You already have the no, what do you lose if you confirm it?
Once you have the yes and you are clear that your intention, on this date, is to have sex with that person, you must begin to prepare the ground from the very first moment.
Taking the date to the end: the sexual encounter
Hours before the date, the nerves start to set in. The fittings are key: you have to look stunning for your date. Wearing comfortable clothes, in your style, will make you feel comfortable. that improves our self-esteem and that we feel more confident and more attractive. Pay special attention to underwear and accessories, they can make a difference.
If you usually wear perfume, do that today too, but if you prefer to go natural normally, do that today too. Remember: the important thing is to feel comfortable, you have to be well-groomed and prepared but without being too obvious.
Choosing a good place to meet will be important. A place that is new to both of you and where you can have a good chat before getting down to business. If you decide to have dinner together, choose a place where you can eat well, but without stuffing yourself with food or alcohol. A full stomach causes drowsiness and Excessive alcohol decreases sexual response capacity.
As the date progresses, you'll begin to realize whether you really want to have sex with the person in front of you or not. If it's a resounding yes, show your willingness little by little, being subtle and elegant, so that they don't feel like you're pressuring them. If it's a no, no problem. Nobody forces you to have sex with someone you don't want to have sex with. Remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation. If after dinner you don't feel like having sex with this person, don't do it. Leave with a polite excuse or tell them directly if they are really into it.
If you both have a good connection and are gradually getting closer to each other, you'll feel the need to go somewhere where you can give free rein to your passion without any problems. His house? Yours? There are advantages and disadvantages to both options.
If you decide to let your home be the witness to your passion, you should know that the moment of saying goodbye can be awkward. You may want him or her to leave quickly but he or she would prefer to stay overnight.
If you are going to go to his house, the inconvenience will be that you will play in unknown territory. It may be an incentive, but you may also find something you don't like. In any case, you will be free at all times to decide to walk out the door, if necessary.
You can also decide go to a hotel. It's a good option that allows you to play with a lot of possibilities. I'm sure that in your city there are even hotels for secret encounters that rent rooms by the hour. It can be a good excuse to try them out, and it can be a very exciting experience.
And then what?
Once you have completed your sexual encounter, the moment arrives, which for many is the most difficult. The farewellWill he think I want something serious? Will he understand that I just want sex? Will he be offended if I tell him?
Here you will have to show all your social and communicative gallantry. Make it clear what you want from now on. And if you are not sure, tell him that too. Sincerity, although it can be complicated on these occasions, will give us, in the long run, fewer headaches.
In any case, as you will see, communication will be key throughout the dating process. Always be yourself and don't be afraid of one-on-one encounters with other people. If they go well, you will take away a nice memory, a good sexual experience and, perhaps, a friend or a partner forever. If they go wrong, you will be able to learn a lot and do better in the next ones.
If you have fear of facing a dateor doubts regarding sexual relations, you can contact a specialized psychologist for advice and help you release the tension they cause you.