Simon's Syndrome – Online Psychologists

He Simon's syndromea variant of the Peter Pan Syndrome – which we have already talked about – refers to men aged approximately 28 to 38, single or separated, who pass for single; emotionally immature – since they only want to have fun and play like a Don Juan – who go out and come in.

Actually, not looking for a womanbut he seeks himself. He is obsessed with success –He wants to succeed, to reach the highest possible professional level, and he is willing to sacrifice almost everything and almost everyone to climb the ladder in his job. And finally, he is a great narcissist who constantly looks at himself in the mirror.

By now, all the readers will be saying to themselves, what a coincidence, I think I know Simon too! How can this be?

The “Simons” have four modes of behavior.

For many, being single is something that as time goes by, is revalued This leads to the wrong perception of freedom and the desire to maintain it at all costs, when in reality the person who is most free is the one who has the capacity to commit. Losing singlehood for a strong, solid, attractive, suggestive love indicates life, strength and the ability to take risks.

Feelings are moods positive or negative, from which affection is born. One of the main feelings is love, with all its nuances: loving, desiring, wanting, feeling attracted, having in mind, needing, spending all day thinking about someone…

Having emotional maturity means being able to give and receive love, the possibility of discovering another person to whom you can give yourself completely and develop a common project.

To fall in love you have to have admiration and feel a strong attraction to the other, not understanding your life without that person as a fundamental part of your life project.

However, in Simon's syndrome we find a person who may have an adequate professional maturity because he loves his job but lacks emotional maturity because: he doesn't know how to express feelings, or that love is a job that must be worked on daily, he doesn't know that feelings must be treated with delicacy, because otherwise they can evaporate. The immature person doesn't know how to give or receive love but, especially, he doesn't know how to maintain it.

And beneath all this lies the commitment panic with another person. Today's society has been producing more and more immature men – but not women – who live focused on their jobs, their friends, entertainment, some culture and little else.

On the contrary, women are looking for true, authentic love, but in recent years there has been an increase in emotional immaturity in men, fun, playful, banal…

Your priority is to find a economic position appropriate. And sacrifice everything for it.

There is another factor hidden behind this, which is the body cult. It is something that in many cases causes a certain dysmorphophobia – which we also talked about in a previous post.

In this case, however, the fact of enjoying a certain economic level means that these “bodily defects” – real or perceived – regularly undergo surgical interventions, many of which are unnecessary.

The narcissus is an exotic plant that grows near lakes and bends as if looking into the mirror that the water offers. Plotinus spoke of the myth of the narcissus: caring so much about the facade, the cover or the appearance leads to producing an idolatry of the exterior

Greek myth says that Narcissus was such a beautiful young man that he drowned trying to capture his own reflection, and the gods turned him into a flower. Similarly, men who suffer from Simon's syndrome have a self-esteem so big that they suffocate anyone around them.

They love to be flattered, to hear themselves speak and to be the center of attention. They need to give always a good impression and for this reason the cult of the body is one of their priorities; to have greater recognition from their environment. They have a great superiority complex that makes them arrogant with others.

If you're starting to feel disenchanted with finding a man who isn't a Simon, fear not; we still have a couple more questions to answer.

The causes are usually due to the fact that in their childhood they were never corrected by their parents but, on the contrary, they were pamperedBut all this façade shows us is a man who, inside, is defenseless against feelings he does not understand and who searches for himself without ever finding himself, because he lacks the tools.

In principle, no. However, it seems more and more that For every Simon there is a Laura (Liberated, Autonomous, University student, Rationalizes love). But, given all the above, being a Laura is not as fun as being a Simon, although emotionally much healthier.