When talking about someone doing poorly in love, it is usually mentioned that that person chooses their partner badly, that the people with whom they have been in relationship have not known how to value or reciprocate them, among other reasons that they usually place the responsibility for failures on the other.
If you have seen yourself in a situation like this, have you ever thought that the responsibility for your relationships failing is not yours but yours, or both? Perhaps it is difficult to dare to think about it, much less to recognize it.
It is not easy to see and accept one’s own mistakes and defects, nor to assume one’s own responsibility for failures of any kind. But it could be that your attitudes make you a difficult person to love and therefore your relationships do not prosper.
Listed below are some of the signs that it can be difficult to love yourself, so that you analyze them and, if you identify with them, work what is necessary to change them and thus be able to start having healthier and happier relationships.
you don’t know how to apologize
You tend to be a stubborn person, who finds it extremely difficult to admit their mistakes, so hearing an apology from you is practically impossible. If you make your special someone feel like they’re always wrong because you refuse to accept that you’re not always right, you have a problem.
Take into account that every human being is wrong on some occasion, and generally on many occasions. So don’t feel bad about it, or let your pride and stubbornness stop you from acknowledging and apologizing. This is something very valuable and important to the people you love, as it allows you to create trustworthy and lasting relationships.
you are unpredictable
Although it is true that you have to improvise to break the routine and that many times the best experiences are those that were not planned, everything has a limit and if your whole life is an improvisation, that will not give any couple the security to be together. your side, since in their eyes you will appear as someone unreliable and who does not commit.
Try to respect the times and with your partner, do not cancel commitments or constantly change plans at the last minute. When you don’t want to do something, say it from the beginning, and when you do want to, commit and carry it out. That will give him the security he needs and let him know that he occupies an important place in your life.
Burdens with the ballast of the past
There is nothing worse than someone who constantly complains or regrets about the things that happened to them in the past, or who, on the contrary, lives in the longing for what has already happened and forgets to enjoy the present moment and people. that are around you today.
If this is your case, it’s time to leave the past behind and turn the page. Avoid comparing your current partner with your exes and avoid idealizing your past or victimizing yourself for it. Live in the present moment and enjoy the love and company of that person who is with you today. Don’t let him pay the piper for the mess that people from your past have caused.
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You lock your emotions in a shell
Hand in hand with the previous point, it is likely that in the past you have been hurt and that is why now you try to control and keep your emotions and feelings at bay. But this, far from protecting your heart from being hurt, all it does is drive away your current partner, who feels out of your world by not being able to know your true feelings.
It is time to break down those emotional walls that you put up around you, to let people into your life and your heart, especially your partner, as this is an integral part of loving someone. If you can’t let people into your heart, you can never truly love or be loved. So trust and open your heart.
you don’t know how to communicate
If you can’t talk and resolve disagreements with another person, that can make you hard to love, because if you don’t solve problems early, they snowball and snowball into unmanageable avalanches.
All relationships, whether romantic or not, are stronger when communication flows properly between the people involved. So you must learn to adequately and clearly express both your ideas, opinions and thoughts, as well as your feelings and emotions.
It may interest you: 5 simple keys to communicate better with your partner
You don’t think you deserve to be loved
Not because it is the last one is the least important. This point is relevant because many times, when your love relationships do not work out and you feel that it is difficult for others to love you, it may be because, from the outset, you yourself do not feel worthy of receiving love.
If you look in the mirror and don’t think you deserve to be considered, loved, and appreciated, you can’t expect someone else to either. In turn, it will be difficult for someone to love you, because you will constantly push them away. This is usually due to self-esteem problems, so start working on cultivating it and making it grow. Accept and love yourself, so that others can love you too and you know how to receive that love.
It may interest you: 7 steps to strengthen your self-esteem
With information from Bolde