Reverse psychology in children and adolescents – Online Psychologists

What is reverse psychology

The reverse psychology It is based on exerting influence over someone to get the response you want. The main characteristic of this technique is that, in order to get what you want, you say exactly the opposite. Many people consider reverse psychology to be a lie, that it doesn't work, or that its effectiveness is only possible with a certain profile of people. The truth is that, in fact, this technique of influence is only possible with a small group of people, including children and adolescents.

Characteristics

Persuasion

Reverse psychology is about influence others indirectly. It focuses solely on pretend that we have a conviction opposite to what we really want in order to provoke in the other a reaction that is appropriate and convenient for us.

Reverse psychology is used as mode of persuasion to others to achieve one's own benefit by guiding the other to make the self-interested decision.

Approval

With this method, in addition to directly influencing others, the aim is to achieve approval by others. In many situations we have insecurities and we attack ourselves in front of others.

In this way, the other person feels the need to contradict you and provide negative value. This action is nothing more than a method of persuasion to increase our self-confidence.

Therapeutic purposes

Reverse psychology has therapeutic purposes for end the mental block which can produce many symptoms in the patient. Psychologists indicate techniques that are the opposite of the reasons for this blockage, so that the patient will do the opposite of what is supposed to improve his situation. An act of persuasion is once again produced by the professional with his patient.

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Who does reverse psychology work on?

This technique is usually effective mainly in people who tend to be rebellious, those who have problems obeying orders and rules, and in stubborn or obstinate people. All these characteristics can be summarized in reactance, that is, the people who have the most reactance are those in whom reverse psychology works best.

For reverse psychology to work, it is important to have into account the reaction of the other person to this method of controlling the situation. This is why the need arises to oppose the situation and react in a way contrary to what is proposed. In such a way that the person who has to choose, after imposing the initial method of persuasion He feels threatened and directly chooses the opposite response which, in many cases, would be desired. In this way, the person who carries out reverse psychology comes out of the situation successfully and achieves his goal.

For example, when choosing a movie and you are very clear about which one you want to see, you will not express your choice, but rather you will show an intention to choose without taking into account others by choosing other movies. In this way, others will feel a threat to their freedom, which they will resolve by choosing the other movie that happens to be the one you wanted.

Therefore, to carry out reverse psychology, people are persuaded with need for control and dominanceso that the reaction occurs. On the contrary, if the person accepts any decision and does not take a position, reverse psychology will not occur, because it will not be necessary.

When is reverse psychology used?

In general, People usually respond better to direct requests But when you want to persuade someone who is resistant to change or suggestions, such as teenagers, you can try reverse psychology.

  • Household chores are often a cause of dispute between mothers and children. If you tell your child that he doesn't know how to do something, he will probably want to prove you wrong. For example, phrases like «I don't think you can make your bed for a week straight» or «You can't eat more than 2 vegetables a week» usually work better than the positive form.
  • The ideal is to use reverse psychology when anger has occurred, because the person is realizing that it is impossible to carry out his or her plans. Children also tend to have tantrums of great emotional intensity, which makes them more vulnerable to this technique.

How is reverse psychology used?

There are many ways to put it into practice but they all base their effectiveness on the fact that The other person must feel that they are in control and free to make their decisions.

  • In arguments, give in and agree. The other person will realize that you didn't want to win the argument, but rather feel that you could beat them, so they will end up giving in.
  • Say the opposite of what you started defending. You'll make their arguments fall flat. For example, if your child doesn't clean his room, try saying, «Great, it's best if you don't clean your room, that way whoever comes over will notice how clean the house is, except for your space.»
  • Provoke. It implies that even if he does what you ask, he won't do it well or won't be capable.
  • Create curiosity. “Don’t even think about going to the kitchen…”
  • Frame it as a competition they must win.

Reverse psychology is not a communication tool

Reverse psychology, especially its abuse, can be counterproductive.

  • If you're not careful, you may end up teaching your child to ignore you, because he or she will understand that with your changes you don't really know what you want.
  • If your child realizes that you are trying to manipulate him, he will do the opposite and get his way.

Effective communication must be based on the assertiveness and not in manipulation, our team of psychologists at know a lot about this, and you can consult them at any time.

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