We all have a dark side that we sometimes don't like to show or we avoid and yet it is there. That dark side of our personality is the personal shadow and it can be very difficult to get rid of it.
What is personal shadow?
The personal shadow is the dark part of ourselves, where our fears, frustrations, bad behaviors and thoughts arise. We usually tend to hide this part of ourselves because we do not like the aspects or behaviors that arise from it, it does not match your usual way of being or the society in which you live.
Despite this, this personal shadow is a part of you and you must both be aware of it and accept it. You may not like it and you may not want that part of you to define you, but it is also a part of you.
Remember that nobody is perfect and everyone has their own personal shadow. What we must try to do is to ensure that this negative part does not define us, That is, it should be present as little as possible in everyday life.
This shadowy part of oneself emerges above all in moments of conflictof strainsuch as arguments with family or friends. In situations like these you can say something without thinking that comes from «within» you, it is a good way to define the shadow, because it comes from the part that you want to hide, from within, without thinking. And externalizing this part of yourself can cause you some distress.
How does it arise?
The personal shadow has grown with you, that is, It has developed since you were a child along with your personality. This is because it is part of it, your own morals and ethics, your way of thinking has rejected these behaviors that you do not consider appropriate. This is also imposed by society and the environment where you have been raised, because they will educate you or you will pick up from them a series of values that also influence which behaviors or thoughts you will consider appropriate or not.
How can your personal shadow affect you?
The personal shadow In itself, it does not have any symptoms, since it is not a disease or a disorder, but rather it is you yourself, or your thoughts, that cause you some discomfort.
The fact of being able to bring out that dark side, of saying something that you don't consider correct at any time or in an argument, makes you afraid. Saying something that you shouldn't have said in an argument can also cause you anxiety, and if that conflict hasn't been resolved, or another worse one has been generated, that feeling of anxiety will only get worse.
This also depends on the type of personality you have, that is, what you are like. The personal shadow usually affects more someone who can easily feel sad when faced with a conflict or confrontation situation that has ended badly. This can cause fear and insecurity.
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How to manage personal shadow?
In order to manage the personal shadow or that dark part, it is important that work on yourself. Knowing yourself is a very important part of knowing when you are feeling bad, your emotions and managing them in the best way. If you know how to recognize and manage your feelings, you will also know how to do it with the bad ones and you will be able to avoid these behaviors. This will make you not be constantly worried. The anxiety caused by the fear of being dominated by your personal shadow can cause this to lead to anxiety disorders.
If you are not able to manage it by yourself, it is best to have a professional help you. psychologist. Going to a professional is the best option to improve your health. A psychologist will help you to recognize, accept and manage your emotions, in this way you will be able to better deal with conflicts, both internal and external. It will also be important to work on your self-esteem to avoid those insecurities that can arise from your personal shadow.
In Psychia We have a great team of psychologists who can help you, contact us and ask for an online therapy session. Our online modality has been effective for 10 years for more than 1,600 patients and will allow you to connect from anywhere, without losing the privacy of a face-to-face session. First briefing is free.