Parents Face the Dilemma of Piercings and Tattoos for Their Teenagers – Online Psychologists

Sara is a 15-year-old patient who has been coming to the clinic for a few months. psychological consultation because it has been subjected to bullyingSuddenly, in the middle of summer and when the patient's adherence to the treatment is starting to be more efficient, her parents ask me for a therapy session just for them «to deal with a very important issue.» Although I think about it a bit in the following days, I am sure that everything is starting to improve now and I think that this issue must be external.

Already in the consultation, Sara’s parents say to me: “I suppose you saw it, right?” See? What was that supposed to do with it? The mother insists: “Don’t tell me you didn’t see the piercing, it might have been your idea!” I can’t help but laugh. No, I don’t usually give ideas like that and, furthermore, “but when she comes she doesn’t have any piercings.” The father enters the “war”: “On the tongue, woman, on the tongue!” And, if it hadn’t sounded rude and impolite on my part, I would have laughed again.

It is true that Sara had been in several sessions saying that “my parents are annoying me and this way they are not going to get me to do what they want” but without mentioning any form of body decoration. The point was that, at that time, Sara's parents believed that the problem was the piercing when this was only the expression of a larger conflict called lack of communication. Therefore, it was clear to them that they had to change their strategy: the enemy to beat was not called piercing, the enemy was somewhere else.

The main cause is for feel different from other teenagers And to do so, they get tattoos, they become unique beings on the outside but, at the same time, they have a gregarious behavior since they don't mind crowding around their favorite singers, athletes, and even politicians.

One reason is the rebellionespecially, against parents, but also against family or society. If our teenage son gets a tattoo or piercing without our consent, he should think, above all, about the example he is giving to his younger siblings with the possible domino effect, plus – essentially – a huge lack of communication with the parents, since they should have turned to them for advice and approval, since they are living in their house.

On some occasions They indicate the adolescent's membership in some gang or urban tribe since – in the case of tattoos – being permanent, they indicate lifelong continuity in said band, tribe or gang. It may happen that a tribe itself establishes a certain tattoo – as if it were a secret message – which, in turn, is interpreted as a provocation by an opposing tribe.

This same desire for belonging It is applicable to other groups in its environment whether it be family, school, sport, etc., since adolescents are in the period of searching for and adapting their own identity – as previously stated – which will lead them to become adults.

The Nuremberg Society for Consumer Research conducted a study in 2007, according to which one third of teenagers under 20 believe that piercings, and especially tattoos, make them look better. Yes, don't rub your eyes, because you read that right! Think about what you think and what more than 50% of children think, and now, do a memory exercise – come on, it hasn't been that long – and remember when you wanted to put an earring in your ear, remember?

Furthermore, according to the same study, one third of teenagers under 20 believe that if their piercings are pins or hoops, This makes them more attractive to the opposite sex.. Instead, tattoos are liked in a different way. 40% of girls but only 11% of boys and – curiously – when you cross the age line from 20 to 30, these percentages are reversed, so that boys like tattoos more.

And, to complete the study, it should be said that 10% of teenage girls find tattoos on boys attractive, while 25% of girls do.

There are different studies according to which genital piercings are used by 50% of adolescents – despite being more common in adults – to provide a new type of stimulation and, therefore, a new sexual experienceMost of them are guys who do it to please their girlfriends, as a sign of love, or simply because they are under the influence of alcohol or because of an uncontrollable impulse.

As you may recall from one of the articles dedicated to the topic in – Pleasure in pain: adolescents and self-mutilation – they experienced a sensation of pleasure when they hurt themselves. According to an article published in 2008 in which 400 people were studied – both with piercings and tattoos – it was found that 25% had self-mutilated with a knife during childhood. In the rest of the population – those who do not have tattoos or piercings – this percentage is 0.01%.

Therefore, adolescents become aware of their own self through compensate intense emotional pain with physical painIn half of the cases, getting a tattoo or piercing is enough to stop “real” self-mutilation, allowing young people to regain control of their bodies.

Many patients, after undergoing therapy that has made them seek out feelings that had been hidden away for a long time, especially after experiencing abuse or sexual abuse, decide to take back control of their body and mind, of their own self, through the cathartic effect of a tattoo that will remind them for life how hard the journey has been but how strengthened they have come out of it, and for this reason, they usually get tattoos of phrases or animals.

Teenagers also define their identity through fashion and that is what makes them dress, more or less, following the dictates of the same trend or wear the “latest” type of hairstyle, but also listen to “their” music, read “their” magazines and, therefore, get their piercing or their tattoo, simply as part of the ritual of this fashion that engulfs them like a wave.

Although Girls get into fashion before boysFor both sexes, the way of dressing identifies with their own way of being. Therefore, youth fashion is a way of reaffirming who I am and what group I belong to, as opposed to another group and, at the same time, to the criteria of adults.

In this way, wearing baggy or ripped trousers, huge sweatshirts or tight-fitting t-shirts, tops that reveal the navel, a visor on a cloudy day and a piercing that “goes through” the tongue, forms part of a whole system of signs – a language – with which they communicate with their peers who understand the same language. However, their parents' “bigwigs” do not understand this code or interpret it differently, which leads to misunderstandings that often generate multiple conflicts.

In principle, the “cult” of image and decorative accessories on the skin is controlled by adolescents but, obviously, in some cases, it can lead to an addictive practice since the subject is not able to “stop”. So, we are talking about a conflict with one's own identity. I don't know who I am, my true self, I search for myself and in that search, I think that if I change my image – multiple times – I will find myself. However, at that point, we are probably talking about personality disordersespecially, obsessive-compulsive type further anxiety or depressive disordersamong others. Here we help you overcome them.

We can ask ourselves if these teenagers need help and we would say that, indeed, if it is affecting their personal, family, social, academic or work life, it is time to start psychological therapy since it is possible that they have lost control and produced a small distortion of reality, creating a situation that could put them in danger.

There is a brain structure called the mesolimbic system, one of whose functions is to give rewards to subjects in the form of a feeling of pleasure, since it secretes various hormones such as dopamine. Therefore, in adolescents who make body modifications, they activate this system, which – by feeling pleasure – increases the chances of repeating them, either because the adolescent feels more interesting and attractive or because it works – as explained above – as if it were self-mutilation.

Therefore, it is very possible that the teenager who starts with a piercing will end up getting one or more tattoos and, vice versa, which means that we could say that the brain initiates them into “addiction” but only, in certain cases, will teenagers end up becoming “addicts”

There are several studies related to this aspect; for example, Kappeler, in 2006, compared the personality of 350 teenagers with some kind of piercing or tattoo. According to this researcher, tattooed young people tend to seek extreme and potentially dangerous sensations such as drugs or bad driving. In another study from Harvard University, it was shown that young people who wear pins and tattoos consume drugs three times more than teenagers of the same age, but without such body decoration.

Similarly, another study by the Institute of Social Medicine in Lausanne surveyed 7,500 young people aged 15-20 and concluded that those with piercings smoked twice as much cannabis, tobacco and alcohol as the rest of the population.

On the other hand, among young people with any type of body modification, the majority came from a home with separated or divorced parents.

All these results were later confirmed by Columbia University, but with a sample of only 280 of its students who had undergone some form of body modification. Among their conclusions, they added that the self-esteem of these young people was usually low, but that, nevertheless, they were open to greater experience.