Sergio, 14 years old, verbalized to me in his last session what he had already been clear about for several weeks: “From time to time I smoke joints with my friends”. “Oh yeah? -I act surprised- “And how often is 'once in a while'?“I tell him.
The conversation is very calm and he confesses that he uses marijuana several times a day. I ask him to tell us about it at home, whenever he feels it is appropriate, however he wants, but just as calmly as he has done with me. He asks me not to say anything to his parents. Obviously, we make a “deal” – our way of functioning in child and adolescent therapy– and, against all odds, Sergio keeps his part of the “deal” and I keep mine. That is why I am surprised when I am told that Elena and David, Sergio’s parents, need to talk about the issue.
Marijuana is the illegal drug most frequently used by teenagers.In fact, more than 40% admit to having tried it at least once. In addition, the consumption of this drug in adolescents can cause problems with physical development, but also with mental and emotional problems. All of this leads to failure at school with its consequent decrease in self-esteem as well as in their job, academic and social prospects both now and in the future.
Parents who discover that their teenager smokes pot, despite being modern parents, are faced with an issue over which they have little control and which they do not know how to deal with. Their concern is logical, and so I am going to clear up some doubts.
What are joints, blunts, and spliffs?
Joints, joints or splints are hand-made cigarettes made with rolling paper, which include a mixture of tobacco and hashish or marijuana. The latter come from a plant called 'cannabis sativa'which is a type of hemp.
Although different in appearance, marijuana is the dried and crushed green hemp leaves. Hashish is the compressed brown oily resin. The common component of the effects in both cases is called THC.
Normally, when you start consuming, teenagers repeat because it disinhibits them, relaxes them, allows them to socialize with adults and, in addition, gives them a false sense of being more fun and having more fun.
How do I know if my teenager smokes weed?
A very obvious sign is if you see that the eyes are very red, shiny, as if they were tearful. In any case, a trick that many teenagers use is eye drops, since they reduce these symptoms. Other signs are also:
- If he comes home with a evasive look, so that the above symptoms are not observed – and he appears apathetic.
- He has a tired face, with dark circles under his eyes.
- He changes his clothes immediately – since the pain is very strong – and puts on some cologne.
- Try not to leave your purse or backpack in accessible places in the house.
- Contradictorily, his behavior is completely uninhibited.
- He arrives with a big appetite.
- He laughs at silly or insignificant things.
- He starts talking about silly things, with a blank look, but without being able to maintain a long or serious conversation.
What are the effects of smoking joints?
They can be due to short-term consumption or prolonged consumption. effects In the first case they are:
- Decreased short-term memory leading to learning problems and difficulties in retaining information.
- Impairment of motor coordination that interferes with driving and increases the risk of injury in the event of an accident.
- Impaired judgment that leads to an increase in risky sexual behavior that promotes the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.
- If the doses are high, the probability of paranoia and psychosis increases.
For their part, the effects of prolonged consumptionare the following:
- Risk of addiction in 9% of consumers, 17% of those who start in adolescence and 25-50% of those who consume daily and started in early adolescence.
- Modification of brain development.
- Poor academic performance with a higher probability of academic failure.
- Cognitive decline among adolescents who are frequent users.
- Increase in life dissatisfaction.
- Symptoms of lung disease.
- Increased risk of schizophrenia in predisposed individuals.
How to tell if you smoke weed occasionally or have an addiction
We call recreational consumption to smoke the occasional joint with friends. Unless you have excellent and very open communication with your child, where you can talk about everything, including smoking joints, it is unlikely that you will ever know these variables.
However, there are ways to find out. If the teenager continues to maintain good performance in their studies and in sports, which they show interest in, as well as in other activities they could do, It is most likely that your consumption is occasional.
If you start spending more money from the usual without adequate justification, there is a Changes in eating habits, increases behavioral apathy, shows self-referential ideas (he believes that all his friends look at him or talk about him) and presents both physiological and physical alterations, it is likely that your son smokes joints regularly.
How can we prevent it?
Adolescence is a stage of great life changes – both physically and psychologically – in which decisions must be made for which one is not always prepared. The problem is that all this complicates the relationship between parents and children, because communication is reduced.
All this is linked to the fact that children begin to go out with their friends and They increasingly want to live a more independent life, outside of family norms.
In any case, primary prevention should be done within the family itself, as follows:
- Children should feel loved, regardless of their behavior.
- They must have appropriate limits and reasonable rules.
- If parents smoke marijuana, they will hardly be able to stop their children from doing so.
- Children must be taught to love themselves, to be autonomous and responsible for their own actions and decisions.
- Maintain conversations where you talk and listen, not just hear.
- Try to get to know his friends.
- Promote a healthy lifestyle from a young age.
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Can I force my child to undergo a drug test?
As long as your child is a minor, you can. It's another thing if it's convenient, but there are certainly other ways to detect consumption.
Measures that do not help either the teenager or the parents themselves are:
- Request a toxicology analysis.
- Ignore the topic thinking that “it will pass” or “they will eventually forget”. On the contrary, it is necessary to communicate and make sure that the positions are clearly established.
- Minimizesaying “well, if it is once in a while, it doesn’t matter”, “it’s just that all their friends smoke joints”. In this way, what we achieve is to reduce the perception of risk that the teenager has when smoking joints with his friends, since he thinks that he has the approval of his family.
- Say “I want to be your friend” and allow him to consume at home and even accompany him. Be careful here! Parents are parents but they are not friends. They can get along very well with their children but roles should not be confused.
- Being catastrophic or dramaticof the type «if you continue like this, you will end up lying on the street.» We must differentiate and, if it is sporadic consumption, out of curiosity, just as it began, it will end.
- Threaten or order: “If I find out you’re still smoking weed, you’ll find out,” “You’re quitting because I told you to.” Consider that we’re dealing with teenagers, and we’re going to get the opposite reactions.
- Humiliate them: “You, as always, causing problems”, “I knew it would end badly”. They need support.
- Keep an eye on where you keep your jointswho they go with, where they go… Your child will eventually notice and a fight will begin between parents and child.
What do I do if I think my child smokes weed?
- Maintain a calm and relaxed conversation with your childfleeing from any type of confrontation, in a warm environment, where we can make them explain to us the reasons why they consume.
- Remember that adolescence is a stage of curiosityof transgression of norms, of need for acceptance by the group.
- If your child tells you that he consumes «to avoid thinking about problems,» to relieve anger or pain, tell him that Drugs only make your problem worse background and that, in this case, it is necessary to go to a psychologist that will teach him to rework all this anger and pain and to delve deeper into his problem so that I stop hurting him.
- A good family atmosphere is the best help to solve drug use problems in adolescents.
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