A relatively common concern among parents arises when they realize that their children do not interact with other children, are isolated or They are not very sociableWhat is normal? How do toddlers really relate? What should we do? When should we be concerned? When should we consult a doctor? child psychologist? Let's see.
When do toddlers start socializing?
They actually start from birth. Within a few weeks they are already smiling, looking for glances, interacting with the people around them, usually with their parents and siblings.
As children grow older, their interaction with their peers becomes more evident. Typically, from the earliest years of life, children begin to show interest in the presence of other children and, by exploring interaction with their peers, this becomes more evident.
The first interactions are very early, from the first month of life He or she already begins to smile and make almost instinctive gestures. From the second month of life, he or she becomes more aware of this. He or she smiles when he or she is well, he or she begins to wonder, he or she is surprised… He or she likes to hear the voices of the people who are caring for him or her. From the age of 3, he/she begins to share games with other children.
As they grow, their ability to form friendships and understand social dynamics strengthens, which helps in the acquisition of social and emotional skills that are essential for their development.
Children need models more than criticism.
Joseph Joubert
When can we suspect that something is wrong?
Setting an exact age is very difficult because each person has their own rhythm, but we must Pay special attention to whether he interacts with us with the first gestures we make to him (from 2 or 3 months), if he crawls or stands up at around 8 or 9 months, if he starts to walk at around 12 or 14 months,… In general, these are behaviors that we will check and also We will have the pediatrician in your regular check-ups. If there is any doubt, we should ask the pediatrician. He will be the one to determine if the child needs the support of another professional such as a child psychologist.
Could the child be socializing out of shyness or embarrassment?
Shyness is a trait of our personality, a way of acting that we often express through shame and that can be limiting on a social level. Shame is a punctual stateWhen we are ashamed we are afraid of making a fool of ourselves, of being mocked, of being dishonored; it is a conscious feeling that we have all experienced at some time.
What if he's just introverted?
Yes, it is possible. Introverts enjoy being alone, they need to be alone and it is voluntary. They are not afraid of facing social situations.
What can I do to help him?
From 2-3 years old the first signs of shyness and even embarrassment appear. Generally this goes away with age, but we should still Provide a safe environment for the childlisten to him, do not force him to do what he does not want to do, try to strengthen his relationship with other children, do not label him, do not overprotect him, reinforce social interactions and boost your self-esteem showing him that he can achieve everything he sets out to do.
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How to recognize isolation due to some type of abuse or harassment at home or at school?
It is necessary to know if his/her behavior has changed recently, if he/she suddenly does not want to go to school or does not want to be with his/her friends, if he/she is sadder or more irritable for no apparent reason.
In short, You have to pay attention to sudden changes in behavior without any reason for it. In the case of harassment at home, we must see if he avoids being with a particular person, if his behavior has changed in any way, if he has a lack of appetite, if he appears sadder or more irritable without any apparent reason, we must observe his way of playing, pay attention to the drawings he makes, if he has recurring nightmares… All this can give us some clue that something is not working as it should.
What else can isolate a toddler?
- Social phobiaIt is the fear of making public interactions, of being in public and it manifests itself through sweating, palpitations, muscle tension, intestinal dysfunctions, redness of the skin and can sometimes be confused with a panic attack.s children with social phobia What they want is to be in places where they feel safe.and with people they know in their environment. Childhood social phobia is manifested with adults and children of the same age.
- Separation anxietySeparation anxiety occurs when a child shows excessive fear of being separated from the person to whom he or she is attached or even from home; excessive anxiety or excessive fear getting lost, moving away from their zone, something happening to the person they are attached to, sleeping away from home, recurring nightmares about the separation, headaches, nausea, abdominal pain when they anticipate separation… Therefore, children tend to isolate themselves because they prefer to be at home or with the person they are attached to. There is no problem if we go to their zone or if they are with the person they want to be with.
- Autism spectrum disorders. This disorder is diagnosed in older children, since early motor skills (crawling, walking, standing up, etc.) are not affected. TORCH It is a neurological and developmental disorder that is present throughout life and early diagnosis is very important for its treatment. It is characterized by problems interacting with other people, restricted interests and repetitive movements.
- High capacities. Babies «gifted» They are very precocious, they hold their head up before 1 month of age, they say their first word before 5 months, they are overstimulated themselves, at 6 months they already respond to their name. Later we discover that they have emotional hypersensitivity and also sensory hypersensitivity and Sometimes they can demonstrate psychomotor hypersensitivity (they are very active, they tire very quickly), they have a good memory and they resist authority. Therefore, their lack of understanding can lead them to feel isolated and frustrated and marginalized, so they prefer to be at their own pace even if it is in solitude.
- Problems at homeWhen a child perceives unrest at home, he or she tends to withdraw, shows learning delays, emotional problems, and tends to have violent behavior because he or she believes that this is the normal way to relate to others. He or she is often irascible with his or her peers. Very often, he or she believes that it is his or her fault for the bad situation at home and may even become depressed.
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