My partner wants to leave me, what do I do? – Online Psychologists

A relationship can wear out due to the passage of time or some problem that has arisen, whether it be poor communication, a disparity in life perspective, infidelity, etc. And it is difficult to accept that it will soon come to an end. But there are other times when only one of the two people in the relationship wants to end it. It may even be more difficult to accept this if you still love them.

A breakup requires a change of mindset. It's hard to recognize that everything has an end, especially if you're still unable to see it. You were so in love that you didn't notice the signs or weren't able to interpret them.

Most of these people try desperately to convince their partner to get back together by arguing that they deserve a second chance. However, if the decision is already final, there will be no turning back and the only thing that will make the process of assimilation easier is time.

The first thing after receiving the news is to stay calm and avoid being carried away by impulses. Now, once this has been achieved, it is necessary to examine the reasons that led the couple to end the relationship. A good way to find out is to meet with that person again to understand it, if they agree.

A stable relationship does not end because of an argument or from one day to the next.. But if it is unstable, yes. So the first thing to do is to evaluate the relationship, if they consider themselves a couple, if they go through a period of distance… If it is the second case, it is not worth looking at what happened.

The following three aspects, which will determine whether the bond is strong, or if on the contrary there are already signs of weakening, serve as signals that announce that a relationship is going to end:

– The commitment: If there is no interest in the other person's life, no time is set aside to spend with them or they are not listened to, these are signs that the relationship will end.

– Intimacy: communicate, trust each other, etc. If you are broken, it does not reflect that you are on the right path.

– The passion: physical displays of affection, a healthy and satisfying sexuality for both.

If any of these aspects are affected, the best option is to acknowledge the fact that everything is over. If you have already reached such a point of exhaustion, it will be difficult to find solutions.

If one of the two has decided to take the step, it must be accepted as soon as possible and in the best possible way.

1. Listen to what he has told you about it or what he has to tell you.

Before you imagine possible causes, you should listen to the other person's explanations. You may not see reality as he does, but his perceptions are his motivations. Therefore, there is little point in debating or persuading.

2. If you don't understand everything, ask.

Always with calm. You may not agree with their answers and their way of thinking, but each person gives a certain form to what they live.

3. Make your proposals known.

If their decision is irreversible, you must respect their position. It is useless to try to convince them or ask them for another chance. They should choose you out of freedom, not out of pity, guilt or insistence.

And if he is not 100% decided, suggest solutions. One of them could be going to couples therapy. But you should not insist, the decision should be joint.

Take a step further and value yourself in that relationship. If you liked yourself in that relationship, what was missing, what were the weak points of both of you… Value your relationship and make a decision, regardless of what the other person does.

If someone keeps insisting that they want to break up, there is nothing you can do. Even if you do not fully understand the reasons why it ended or you think that they made a mistake, do not force the relationship to continue, as this will only damage the bond.

Now is the time to focus on yourself and don't blame yourself for what you think you have done wrong. You just have to worry about taking care of yourself and spending time doing things you like. You can make new friends, update your routine.

Once it has been assumed that the relationship will not be resumedyou have to focus on yourself and deal with it in the best way possible.

It is necessary to distance once the relationship is over. You won't be tempted to ask for a second chance and by distancing yourself you will reduce the feeling of pain that you would feel if you saw him often. When enough time has passed for you to heal, you can decide whether to resume contact.

Your family and friends can help you through this difficult time. But If you still need more support, choose to go to therapy.there they will give you tools so that this path is not so hard. In we help you take the step with a free online therapy sessionLeave us your query and we will contact you.