Marital relationships tend to wear out over time. It is common for crises or periods of disinterest from one partner to occur. But if this situation drags on or you want to prevent it and both partners want to resolve its deterioration, the best option is to go to a marriage counselor who will listen to you, inform you, and guide you in your reflections as a couple.
A marriage counselor is different from a therapist in that he or she focuses on the present and works on the couple's current situation. However, he or she also refers to each partner's personal histories to better understand the present.
Why go to a marriage counselor?
The most common way to go to a counselor is when you realize that there is a problem between you and your partner. Thanks to the counselor, you can learn to improve communication between the two of you and find answers to your questions.
You can go to one whenever you want, whether or not the couple already has children. But from the first moment you are aware that there are issues of violence, difficulty in relating, emotional or sexual, you should go as soon as possible.
What do marriage counselors do?
They advise couples to solve their problems in sessions that take place every 15 days, because this is the time needed to know the impact that will occur. The price of these sessions ranges from 40 to 100 euros.
It is also possible that only one of the two goes to the professional, but as a couple the results will be obtained faster.
The first thing they will do is develop an “action plan” that will help:
• Establish the couple’s priorities.
• Decide what measures will achieve the goals.
• Understand errors so you can deal with them.
• Recover love and passion.
• Become a team.
• Decide whether to continue the relationship.
• Create greater closeness and harmony between both.
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Is going to couples therapy the same as going to a marriage counselor?
Couples therapy, marriage counselor, and marriage therapist all refer to the same thing. They all describe the same process, the only thing that changes is the type of professional who performs the therapy.
The difference between couples therapy and an individual therapeutic process is that the focus of attention, of the diagnostic and therapeutic process, is the couple, and not a specific individual diagnosed with a specific psychological problem.
How do I know if I definitely need to see a marriage counselor?
The best way to know if you need to go to a psychologist is to analyze the relationship, there are four methods for this
Evaluate the relationship. The main signs that indicate that it is time to go online marriage therapy are:
– If you feel hopelessness, lack of interest, anger…
– If trust between the two is not vital. Some of the symptoms that this does not exist are: checking the other person's phone, forbidding them from going out with friends, keeping secrets from them, etc.
– If you are not satisfied with your sex life. It is normal to have periods of less sexual activity, but they should be temporary. If the couple is dissatisfied, it is best to communicate.
– Disdain. One must see the other as an equal. If, for example, one believes that the other is more intelligent than the other or yelling occurs frequently
Addressing communication problems between couples:
– If there are constant discussions and there is one topic that is always debated.
– If there is no discussion. This could reveal that there are problems that they are not talking about.
– If there are different interests in terms of values, the partner's profession, religious beliefs, etc.
– If you are a victim of physical or emotional abuse. The best thing to do is to end the relationship as soon as possible and contact the authorities.
Coping with crises:
– If there is going to be a separation.
– If one or both have been unfaithfulEven with the help of a professional, it will require a lot of time and commitment.
– If one suffers from a mental illness such as depression or anxiety.
– If the relationship has been affected by the death of someone, an illness, a robbery, etc.
– If parenthood causes stress.
– If you have them economic difficulties
Communicating with your partner:
– To solve or find the problem you must find a quiet moment to talk. If you want to go to therapy, the decision should be mutual and both parties should seek it out.
– You have to listen that the other environment feels about their relationship.
– It is necessary determine the reason why you want to request marital therapy.
– And they have to decide what to do to save the relationship, if they both want to.