Love bombing: love or manipulation? – Online Psychologists

Soon comes love, then comes marriage… That is a children’s song that many people know; they know, but in reality, for a relationship to be successful, there are additional stages that must be passed through. Love is a complex feeling that needs time, dedication and effort.

If you're in a relationship that seems exciting at first, but you feel like something isn't right, it's important to ask yourself what's causing you concern.

Do you receive excessive gifts that make you feel uncomfortable? Do you feel pressured to move on too quickly and make your relationship exclusive too quickly? Do you find yourself cutting out time with family and friends because your partner gets upset when you do? If any of this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing psychological and emotional abuse, which is known as «love bombing».

What is “love bombing”?

The “love bombing” or love bombing It is a form of psychological and emotional abuse that It consists of a person doing everything possible for you to manipulate you and that maintain a relationship with her.

This may or may not be intentional. Although romantic partners are the most likely to recognize it, family and friends may do so as well. It is often motivated by insecurities, the inability to trust and dependence on other people.

Although anyone can do it, love bombing is most often associated with people who have an anxious or insecure attachment style or a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

People may also acquire a behavior by learning it from their parents (such as passive aggression) or from previous abusive relationships. It can also be a side effect of unresolved childhood trauma (although this is not always the case).

Signs

Love bombing is a manipulative strategy used by some people to generate affection and control over someone else. Some signs of being in a relationship are:

  • They give you unnecessary giftsOne of the common tactics of “love bombing” is to inundate the target person with extravagant and often unnecessary gifts in order to impress them and gain their attention.
  • They are in a hurry to close thingsLove bombers tend to rush into relationships, looking for a quick and deep commitment. This can create a feeling that everything is moving too fast.
  • They are always available and demand your attention.Love bombers can be extremely available, always willing to respond to your texts or calls right away. They may also constantly demand your attention to make sure you are always thinking about them.
  • They don't take «no» for an answerOne of the most disturbing characteristics of love bombing is that people may express exaggerated love and affection, even after a short time of knowing each other. This can feel overwhelming and unrealistic.
  • You feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable or unbalancedWhen you experience it, you may feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable, or even unbalanced beneath the intensity and speed with which the relationship is developing.

Differences in “love” in general

He love It is a deep and sincere feeling that develops naturally over time in a healthy relationship. It is based on the respect, trust, open communication and mutual support. True love is built over time and is not in an undue rush to move quickly toward deep commitments.

The main difference lies in the authenticity and the intention behind these actions. While genuine love is based on respect and mutual growth, love bombing seeks to captivate and emotionally dominate the other person.

In a relationship of true love, both people have the opportunity to get to know each other gradually, share common interests, values ​​and goalsOpen communication and trust are encouraged to establish a solid foundation for the future.

On the contrary, “love bombing” focuses on a manipulation strategy and can lead to Target person feels overwhelmed, confused and insecure due to the speed and intensity of the feelings expressed.

It is important to remember that true love is built over time, while love bombing is a sincere and potentially damaging tactic. It is always advisable be alert to the signs of a relationship And if something seems too good to be true or you feel uncomfortable, it is essential to seek support and advice to properly assess the emotional situation you find yourself in.

How to get over love bombing

To overcome or avoid falling into “love bombing”, it is essential to:

Recognizing manipulation

The first step to getting over love bombing is to recognize that you were being manipulated. Accept that the intensity and speed of the relationship was not genuine and that It's normal to feel confused. after this experience.

Allow yourself to feel

It is normal to experience a variety of emotions after such a relationship, such as confusion, sadness, anger, or even shame. Allow yourself to feel and process these emotions without judging yourself. yourself. Seek emotional support from friends, family, or even a therapist if needed.

Set clear boundaries

If the love bomber tries to get close to you again or regain your attention, set clear boundaries and stand firm on them. Remember that you have the right to protect your emotional well-being and stay away from toxic or manipulative relationships.

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With the help of therapy you will be able to identify if you are in a love booming relationship and overcome it.

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Strengthen your self-esteem

It may sound obvious, but it is the most important thing. These relationships can undermine self-confidence and make you feel insecure in future relationships. Work on building your self-esteem and value your own needs and desires in a relationship.

Learn from experience

Reflect on the experience of love bombing and look for lessons you can learn from it. This may help you identify patterns in future relationships and avoid falling into similar situations.

Take time to heal

Healing afterward can take time. Give yourself the space you need to heal emotionally and don't feel pressured to jump into a new relationship before you're ready.

Therapy to heal

Sometimes, the support of an online psychologist can be a good option to break the erroneous beliefs that prevent us from being in a healthy relationship.

Individual therapy can be a great help in processing and healing emotionally after a love bombing experience. A qualified therapist can provide a safe space for you to express your emotions, understand how the manipulation affected your self-esteem, and help you set healthy boundaries in future relationships.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. Therefore, in this context, it can help you: challenge negative beliefs about yourself and improve the ability to detect manipulative tactics.

In these cases, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) can help you recognize emotions and make conscious decisions to protect your well-being.

Couples therapy can also be beneficial if both parties are willing to work on the relationship. However, in many cases, it is more appropriate for emotional healing before addressing relationship issues.

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