«Habit is stronger than love», A popular saying goes, and it is often true. Sharing every day with our partner pushes us to fall into monotony, to the point that boredom arises and the relationship deteriorates; then, the need to feel the presence of that person becomes obsessive, leaving aside the emotion of the affective, leaving only the fear of being alone, and for that reason you can cling to a feeling of belonging.
Therapist Louise L. Hay affirms that «due to a lack of self-esteem, we seek in our partners the love, appreciation, recognition and support that we do not give ourselves.» Therefore, it is a compelling reason to fall into the vicious circle of staying next to a person just out of habit.
Love itself is maintained by three essential factors, first of all individual responsibility, which is based on the position that each person forms of himself with respect to his feelings; secondly, interdependence, conquering emotional autonomy, building an honest coexistence. Finally, it is very important, the true and conscious assessment towards the person who shares our life.
This feeling awakens intense emotions, when we are and share with our partner; The impulse of that affection motivates us to resolve conflicts through dialogue and respect that the loved one has inspired in our soul. With the true essence of that feeling, it is impossible to tie that person to our will and therefore, they have the total freedom to leave when they think it is necessary.
However, when we do not find the right words to justify staying, it means that you can only have one answer: we are so used to that person, even knowing that he no longer arouses the passion necessary to feed love. In our enchantment we do not want to realize that although there is daily coexistence, deep down there is a very large distance and it is precisely there that our self-esteem is destroyed.
This kind of habit is called attachment, It no longer matters what makes us good or bad. The most significant thing in all this is to be next to that person, regardless of the high price that must be paid; however, it usually happens that the longer we are in that situation, the habit is much stronger, disturbing the logical behavior, turning it into a robot that reacts with the presence of that person; therefore, it is an element that causes a lot of damage in the long run, and the worst thing is the feeling that life has no meaning without that being by your side.
Being with our partner is only worth it if we feel love towards her. It is necessary that this feeling be reciprocal, and above all, that there be a lot of understanding to settle the differences; This will prevent the relationship from becoming a simple or complicated habit.