I watch porn, I masturbate every day and I would like to stop doing it – Online Psychologists

I have received a query from a user who asks me the following:

This is much more common than we can imagine. Many men send me similar questions, so I have decided to write an article explaining the answer a little, I think it can be useful to many more users.

It seems that the user in question is concerned because it is a practice that he does daily, I understand that since he says that «he would like not to do it anymore» what he wants is completely eradicate masturbation behavior.

Well, honestly, I think that's a bad decision. Both men and women need to masturbate (some more than others, just as some need to eat more than others). Masturbation serves several purposes:

So, giving up masturbation means giving up everything on this list and many other things. As I say, I don't think it's a good idea.

Is it good to masturbate every day?

Well, it's neither good nor bad. If you feel like masturbating daily, go ahead. As long as you have a good time and be fulfilledgo ahead. As long as do not interfere with your obligationsgo ahead. As long as Don't stop hanging out with your friends or having sex with your partner. just because you're masturbating, go ahead.

As I said before, each person has their own needs and must know them and, to the extent possible, satisfy them.

You may now need to masturbate daily, even several times a day, and in a few months you may not be able to do so for days or weeks because you don't feel like it. That's okay, both are perfectly normal.

Of course, if you feel that masturbating is affecting your daily life, that it is causing you to neglect your life, then perhaps we are talking about a problem and we should work on it in a consultation. I can teach you How sex therapy works.

Perhaps what most worries the user who sent his query is not so much masturbation itself, but the fact that he does it using pornography.

Well, this is a question I get very often and I will dedicate an entire article to it, because The topic of pornography is very controversialThere are great defenders and great detractors and, as always, neither one nor the other is absolutely right.

Pornography is not bad in itself, the problem is that we look at it as if it were a guide to sexuality when, in reality, we should see it as what it is: a fictional film.

What appears in pornography is not real: Neither the bodies, nor the genitals, nor the moans, nor the orgasms, nor the practices. Don't get me wrong, obviously they are flesh and blood actors but the shots, the post-production, the dubbing, the scene montages… all that makes what we see on screen as unreal as an episode of Star Trek.
So pornography is good when it serves to excite us, to have a good time. But it is bad when we use it as a basis for having sexual relations, since that will lead us to expectations that are very difficult to meet.

In summary, what I would say to this user is that Don't try to eliminate masturbation from your life (and if you really want to do it, then ask for therapeutic help) and masturbate by alternating pornography with other practices, such as imaginative masturbation (that is, masturbating thinking about situations we have experienced or would like to experience) or with a sex toy that helps him get excited.

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