Many couples are not completely happy but they don't know When is it time to separate?Sometimes we may be in a relationship that has not worked from the beginning. Other times, we may be in relationships where there have been disappointments and problems that have not been able to be forgotten. Even relationships where each person has objectives and goals in life that the other does not share.
Reasons for separation
When we see a couple walking hand in hand down the street we feel envy or think about how beautiful love is, although, sometimes, not all that glitters is gold.
- It may be that the relationship we are seeing has not worked 100%.
- There are relationships in which have committed disappointmentsThese disappointments cause a break in the couple distrust that is not overcome and prevents them from moving forward.
- There are couples who They complement each other one hundred percent. However, each has a series of different objectives and future projects that prevent them from being together.
- There are also relationships in which the love is immense and it could be the love of your life. But It's not the time to be together since the relationship benefits neither of them.
When we face any of these situations, we are aware that something is not right. We must decide whether to separate or fight to move forward. But, How do we know when it's time to separate?
- One has to know where our relationship stands: If we have been stuck at the same point for a long time, if we are in a back and forth of discussions and reconciliations or constantly throwing things in each other's faces… In this case the relationship has a fairly close end.
- When we resort to memories The relationship is going down the drain. Going back in time to remember the good things about the relationship prevents us from moving forward and overcoming new problems. We are idealizing a relationship that no longer exists.
- Another problem that can cause rupture is the lack of sexual desireThere are couples who start to see the other as a friend or a partner. This can be caused by routine, by a lack of respect or by feeling undesired by your partner. When this happens, the relationship falters because sexual attraction is a fundamental element.
- A relationship is based on the commitment, cooperation, communication and community. In addition, there must also be trust, affection, compatibility and connection. If any of these pillars fail, your relationship may not be at its best.
- When we are in a relationship and we have different future plans. Sometimes you put aside your future goals so as not to break up with your partner. This, in the long run, becomes a possible reason for breaking up because it turns into reproaches.
- Finally, A relationship must be based on respectboth physically and psychologically. If you feel constantly attacked by your partner, either physically or verbally, get out of there, because you are immersed in a toxic relationship.
Is it easy to make the decision to separate?
Making the decision to know when it's time to separate It costs a lotThis can be due to several reasons:
- Love is still thereOur feelings do not fade away from one day to the next. Despite everything, there will always be a sign of affection towards the person with whom we have lived and shared so many moments.
- We cling to a ray of lightEven though we know that the relationship is going downhill, we do our best to cling to the good. This causes us to feel insecure when making a decision.
- Many times We are afraid to break up with our partner because of the fear of ending everything we have created together.
- Be used to A series of routines makes you believe that when you break up with someone you won't be able to start over again. You believe that you won't be able to fall in love again or trust someone.
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Breaking up with my partner or not
Despite the pain that comes with the decision to separate, in the long run we will realize that everything has been for our good and that of the other person. What we had as love was nothing more than a routine, a torment or even agony.
We must be clear that if love has faded and the relationship has become a toxic and uncomfortable situation, the best thing we can do is leave it. Once we have left it, we will go through hard phasesWe may consider going back, we will believe that the world is coming down on us or that we will not be able to overcome it.
However, time heals everything. And that is why In a separation what is needed is time. It is unpleasant, but it is also absolutely necessary to go through phases of shockdenial and chaos that lead us to acceptance.
Here you will understand that what you have done is right, you will begin to see the future with positivity. Your ex-partner will have become just another memory in your mind.
What to do if I'm not sure?
If you still have faith in your relationship and feel that the time has not come to separate, seek help from a professional specialized in couples therapy.
The couples therapy offers you the chance to give your relationship a second chance. A specialist will help you strengthen your relationship skills, understand each other better and find out whether you should really stay together or give up.
If you have this type of problems do not hesitate to contact PsychiaOur team of online psychologists will help you solve your problems.