I don't understand why my partner left me – Online Psychologists

A breakup is never easy, but when it is the other person who breaks up with you, and sometimes for no apparent reason, it can become a real nightmare. Although it hurts to admit it, relationships can stagnate and sometimes it may be that best option whether to leave your partner, but this dose of reality It doesn't make it any less painful this process.

And it is in the process, in the initial phase of mourning, when many of you contact us with the same question: «I need to understand why my partner left me.Couples therapy is a useful way to find relief and understanding during this phase.

All the breakups are painfulalthough it may be more so for one party than for the other, especially if the most affected does not accept this separation.

In these cases they usually appear Frequently asked questions like «what have I done wrong?», «when have things gone wrong?», «what happened?»«Why doesn't he love me anymore?» «What if I'm not enough?»…

If this is your case and You don't understand why your partner left you. It is important that you do not waste your time looking for hidden motives because there is no turning back, your partner has left you and you must accept it.

But, How to accept this new reality? How can I leave the pain behind?

As we have already mentioned, a breakup It is one of the most experiences painful that a human being can go through and constitutes grief.

It may sound strange because the duel It is usually associated with very traumatic events such as the death of a loved one, but the truth is that yes, a breakup is a major loss and the duel is part of it.

Grief is a psychological experience that manifests itself after a loss and in which a series of emotional reactions are triggeredcognitive, behavioral and physiological. If we talk about grief after a breakup, we can define it as an emotional shock, a state of psychological paralysis or emptiness.

In addition, a Unwanted breakup causes disorganization of the I and can cause the appearance of mental health problems such as anxiety or depression and symptoms of post-traumatic stress.

It should be noted that the duel will depend on the characteristics of the relationship and of the members of the couple themselves, and in the case of the person who has been left, it is likely that a feeling of emptiness or feelings of low self-esteem.

After a breakup and the grieving that this entails, there are different phases that make up this process:

This is about the beginning of mourningDuring this phase, the person does not accept what has happened and does not fully believe the breakup.

This lack of reaction is due to shock, which leads the person to act. as if nothing had happened.

This phase is different from the previous one because the person already is aware of what has happened but He doesn't want to accept it. He refuses to accept that the relationship is over and fantasizes about getting back together with his ex-partner.

During this stage, it is common for the person to look for possible ways to solve the problems in the relationship in order to give themselves a second chance with the other person.

This period has a adaptive function which allows us to digest the loss little by little to become aware of the changes that have occurred.

In this phase the person begins to accept what the breakup means and the separation, he begins to become aware of what this new reality means in his life.

After realizing the consequences that the breakup has and will have on her daily life, she will suffer a deep sadness accompanied by a negative vision of the world and its future.

Although going through this phase is hard and painful, the truth is that sadness It is a emotion necessary to be able to assume the loss and connect with what happened to begin to overcome it.

Within the phases of grief in a breakup, the guilt phase It is one of the most characteristic. Since in other types of grief it does not usually appear in such a marked way, while in this case guilt is one of the most difficult phases to overcome.

During this stage you think about things and wonder what you could have done to save the relationship. This type of obsessive thoughts Focusing on finding the culprits or triggers of the breakup is psychologically exhausting for anyone and can cause episodes of anxiety. If this is your case, try a free session at and discover how our online psychologists can help you.

After going through the stage of looking for someone to blame and feeling like it was all your fault, you will start to feel angry.

The anger phase is one of the most beneficial to you, why? Very simple. It is a feeling that, if well managed, can become a powerful and positive engine, since keeps you away of that person from whom you have separated, which is essential in any breakup.

But you must be clear that this is a stage within the grieving process. Do not stagnate in this phase because that feeling that helped you heal will turn against you.

During this phase, people begin to accept what happened and start to think about the future, not the past or their ex-partner.

Acceptance is the key to getting over a breakuphelps us think about ourselves, our future and leaving behind that relationship that has already come to an end.

As we have already mentioned, getting over a breakup is not easy, but through a series of tips you will be able to deal with this situation in the best possible way:

After a breakup, it is likely that your self-esteem has been affected at some point, It is important that you work on it and start flying as you deserve.

Learn to be okay with yourself and love yourself, because you deserve it.

To get over a breakup, it is essential to accept what has happened. Denying what has happened will only prolong the process and make everything more difficult.

Remember that It's not about denying or avoiding anything.but to accept what happened little by little.

It is important that Don't repress your emotionslet them out. If you feel like crying, cry, and if you are sad, let it out.

Stop thinking about what could have been Because you can't go back, what will benefit you is to look forward and think about your future.

Seeking professional help is always a good option in these types of situations, because you will be accompaniedIn addition, therapy helps to cope with the different stages of grief caused by the breakup.

If you need help for Understanding why your partner broke up with you And to be able to overcome what happened, a psychologist can help and guide you.

At we have been experts in online therapy since 2012. Throughout our career we have helped more than 2,000 patients overcome various emotional problems. If you are interested in seeking the help of an online psychologist, you can request a free first session by clicking on the button below.