Marina comes to the consultation worried, although at first she finds it difficult to put a name to what is happening to her. However, as she gains confidence with her psychologist, she dares to explain what is happening. She has been single for four years and, although she misses having a partner, she does not think she will meet someone she likes soon. «I don't have feelings for anyone,» she says, «is something wrong with me?»
Her psychologist explains that it is normal to have moments when apathy overwhelms us. The normal thing is that this feeling can disappear from your life in the same way it arrived. However, if it lasts too long, it can be the alarm signal that alerts us that there is a more serious underlying problem.
«I don't feel anything for anyone»: the psychological explanation
There are three terms from the psychological field to explain apathy or antipathy towards other people:
- Anhedonia: decrease or loss of interest of a person in any activity of his/her day to day. The loss of interest in doing everything that he/she was passionate about will plunge him/her into a state of apathy. Logical, on the other hand, since inactivity does not produce emotions such as joy, fear… And a long etcetera of feelings that remind you that you are still alive.
- Alexithymia: inability to show feelings. Feelings may exist, but the person suffering from alexithymia is not able to make them visible to others.
- Emotional blockage: a problem that prevents the person show your feelings to the rest of the world. However, this blockage arises as a method of protection after having experienced a traumatic situation in one's life.
Why don't I have feelings for anyone?
Indifference towards people around you can appear by various reasons, Although all problems related to apathy towards people have a neurological basis, the environment and past experiences can, however, cause a greater development of the apathy. antisociality.
In the consultation we often find that the person is going through a stage of depressionBehind Marina's «I don't feel anything for anyone» was, in reality, a general discouragement that affected almost every aspect of her life.
In addition, anhedonia, alexithymia and emotional blockage are common in grieving processesThe death of a loved one, especially if it occurs suddenly, can mark a before and after in the way we relate to others.
There is no disguise that can long hide love where it exists, nor feign it where it does not exist.
A normal period of mourning lasts approximately six months. If during that six months you are unable or unable to break free from the state of apathy you are immersed in, we may be facing a serious problem.
If you feel indifferent towards the people around you, it may be the alarm signal that alerts you to the beginning of a depression. When in doubt, the best thing to do is visit a psychologist to help you recover that love for important people in your life, even if you don't know how to appreciate it at that moment.
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What do I do to recover my emotions?
- Leave your comfort zone: The false peace of mind that a safe environment gives you will only deepen your distrust of other people.
- Practice exercise: activation is key to avoiding anhedonia. Practicing sports is important to release endorphins and feel better about yourself.
- Walk in sunlight: The sun helps provide well-being and some studies claim that light therapy is beneficial in combating depressive states.
- A proper rest: getting enough sleep, at night if possible, helps prevent anhedonia.
- Psychological therapy: A psychologist can help you modify the limiting thoughts that make your life worse.
- Legal stimulants: Caffeine activates dopaminergic pathways, which can be beneficial for returning to sociability.
At we have been helping patients from all over the world find their well-being since 2012. We were pioneers in offering online therapy and that is why we know that it is an economical, but equally effective, alternative to traditional therapies.
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