Some people do not have the ability to socialize very present in their lives, nor do they have any intention of developing it. In recent times, various factors have modified our way of relating: time confined due to the pandemic, increased hours of teleworking… More and more patients contact us saying «I can't stand people.»
Although having a sullen attitude may seem like a personal decision, difficulty socializing is, in many cases, a problem. Often the loneliness It becomes a constant in their lives and they can even fall into a spiral of hatred towards the world. In addition, they often feel misunderstood, which can lead them to develop depression.
I can't stand people: why is this happening to me?
The inability to tolerate the people around you and not wanting to spend time with them can be due to different causes. Among the common reasons, you may encounter the following:
- Temper: the character of each person is a worldAs with physical features, each individual has a way of seeing life and facing the situations that come their way. Some people tend to relate to their environment very intensely and this can cause them to clash with the people around them.
- Personality: The fact that you were raised in an environment where expressing your feelings was frowned upon, or in a family where you were not given enough attention, will determine the type of attachment you develop. And attachment, in turn, determines your personality. If you have an insecure attachment, it is normal for you to find it difficult to be sociable, especially when dealing with strangers. In addition, negative experiences from the past, such as bullying or not having had sincere friendships, also influence your personality.
- Rigidity and frustration: Sometimes limiting thoughts lead us to believe that we live in a hostile worldwhere everyone has a negative ulterior motive.
- Physical or psychological discomfort: Hostility towards others can also be the result of some physical or mental problem. During periods when you are suffering from discomfort, you are more susceptible to any external stimulus. Any minor setback can mean the world in this state.
- Extreme shyness: not having the social skills necessary to be able to function correctly can lead you to develop a unfriendly personality.
If you identify with any of these causes, do not hesitate to contact an online psychologist.
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How can this be solved?
Whenever a patient asks, “What can I do if I can’t stand people?” it is our duty to respond that changing the way he or she relates to his or her environment is a long process that requires a lot of work.
Although this process can be shortened with the necessary psychological support, there are some tips you can follow on your own:
- Identify your fears: Avoidant attachment, developed due to the attitude of parents during childhood, causes fear of being hurt for having affection for a person or a group of people. It is very important to know what obstacles you put in others' way in order not to establish a relationship of trust and mutual affection, because only in this way will you be able to get rid of limiting thoughts.
- Be more flexible: Nobody is perfect. So don't embark on an endless search for the perfect friend or partner. These irrational ideas need to disappear from your subconscious in order to gain a more realistic view of the world.
- Listen and change your thoughts: Ask yourself, “Why can’t I stand people? What do I see wrong with socializing?” Write it down on a piece of paper so you can be aware of your mental barriers. Once you’ve done this introspection exercise, try to change them so they have a positive focus.
- Manage stress: The accumulation of stress and frustration can be the cause of high levels of irritability. Learning to control your breathing or practicing hobbies that bring you peace of mind are good tips for being calm with yourself and, consequently, with other people.
- Learn to socialize: Developing assertive communication is a fundamental step in creating healthy relationships, whether they are friendships or romantic. Getting involved in activities such as team sports can be a perfect solution to «force» yourself to build relationships with people.
Is being antisocial the same as being asocial?
To finish with the topic of the article, you must be clear about the difference between being antisocial and being asocial. The antisocial person suffers from a psychological pathology in which he goes against society and will do everything in his power to do as much damage as possible.
People asocial They are those people who prefer the loneliness the company of other people. They do not seek pleasure with the pain of third parties, they simply seek a space to be with themselves.
If you have trouble relating to others, we can help you.
At we have been helping patients from all over the world find their well-being since 2012. We were pioneers in offering online therapy and that is why we know that it is an economical, but equally effective, alternative to traditional therapies.
To date, more than 1,600 people have turned to us to find an online psychologist. If you also want to try our services, you can request a consultation First briefing free.
Why choose
- We have been leaders in online psychological care since 2012.
- First informational appointment free.
- Online therapy from 40 euros per session.
- Team of senior psychologists, with decades of experience.
- All the therapy we offer is via videoconference. 100% confidential.
- The same psychologist will attend to you throughout the treatment.
- At you do not lose the money for the sessions. If you cannot connect or are not there, the session is postponed to another day.
- Attention in Spanish, English and Catalan.