Hypocrites: this is what they are like and how you can avoid them – Online Psychologists

We are all bothered by hypocrisy. Humans hate insincerity, They poison social relationships. And we need social relationships. Since the beginning of time we have sought the company of our fellow human beings and have established personal relationships with those around us. We hate hypocrites because they are dedicated to sowing doubts about the authenticity of our relationships.but… Are we hypocrites?

There are many who claim that We live in the age of hypocrisya. The consolidation of the Internet and the expansion of social networks have made our status as social beings rise to the nth degree. Applications such as Facebook have trivialized the term “friend” to the point of turning friendships into collectible cards. Others, such as Instagram, have made us experts at pretending that our daily lives are perfect.

However, we still dislike hypocritical people. True, there are few (or perhaps none) who can claim to have never been hypocritical, but everyone can make a mistake. The problem comes when lying becomes a pillar of personality. and there is no way to distinguish what is true from what is not.

The Royal Spanish Academy defines hypocrisy as act of pretending «qualities or feelings contrary to those one truly has» or are experienced». However, this definition should be qualified, because sometimes it is really difficult to know what we want and act accordingly. Other times, without any bad intention, we act by putting others above what we ourselves want. Does this mean that we are hypocrites? Maybe, but we are involuntarily.

What makes hypocrites despicable is premeditation. A hypocrite is someone who deliberately pretends to be someone he is not. The hypocrite is not only a liar, he lives a lie.

However, Not all hypocrites act with bad intentions. On many occasions it is their desire to fit in that pushes them to say what they do not think, or to act against their own beliefs. Some people are hypocrites because their low self-esteem makes them believe that their «true self» is not good enough. Others practice hypocrisy with the intention of receive approval from the rest forfor example, coming out well in conflicts.

Some of the most widespread theories place the origin of hypocrisy in human nature itself.

As we have already explained, humans are social beings and, as such, We need to live in communityThis need, which is still latent, was especially important for the first hominids, since their survival depended not only on their belonging to the community, but also on its proper functioning.

Perhaps it was then that humans developed the impulse to turn a deaf ear to our own opinion in order to act on the basis of what others expect of us. But, as logical as its origin may seem, Hypocrisy is still toxicboth for others and for oneself.

In 1994 Roger Crisp and Christopher Cowton published a research in which they considered the four possible causes of hypocrisy:

Hypocrisy can manifest itself in many ways, so it is not always easy to recognize a hypocritical person. However, there are some characteristics that can help you distinguish this annoying attitude.

A hypocrite will preach the supposed rules that govern his life in the hope that others will follow them and, thus, they will not have to do so themselves.

For example, a hypocritical boss would be one who demands hard work and excellent results from his employees, but is never available when they need help.

On many occasions hypocritical people establish superficial relationships that do not really interest them, but that may be beneficial to them in the future.

You have probably shared a class with one of those classmates who usually limit themselves to greeting you, but who appeal to your friendship when they need your help with some work.

They always criticize behind your back

In public, the hypocrite is everyone's friend. However, when he is alone with the people he trusts, criticizes those he has been kind to. These types of attitudes create insecurities in those around them, as they cannot help but wonder if others will do the same to them.

Although a hypocritical person will always demand that you help him when things go wrong, The most normal thing is that they disappear when it is their turn to help others.

As a rule Hypocrites have an image of themselves that does not correspond to reality.While it is true that some people pretend to be someone they are not, precisely because they do not like what they perceive of themselves, others have an exaggeratedly perfect image of themselves, fueled by the character they have created.

However, beyond its facade of perfection, The hypocrite will rarely strive to improve. It is common for a hypocritical person to think that if others already believe that he is good, there is no need to really be one.

If you recognize any of these qualities in yourself there is no need to worry. To err is human and Sometimes we are hypocrites without meaning to beThe problem lies in the habitual repetition of this type of attitude.

Although it is normal for hypocrisy to get on your nerves, You must not lose your nerve when dealing with hypocritical people.

Your first reaction to hypocrisy may be anger, but the best thing you can do is control your impulses. Some hypocrites are experts at manipulating others, and if you start an argument with them, they may end up turning your arguments against you.

Instead, try speak calmly with them about what bothers you. If you are afraid of unleashing their bad mood, avoid blaming them. Instead, try to focus on how they make you feel.

If talking to them doesn't work, remember that you always have time to put distance between your life and those people who no longer bring you any valueIt is important to be clear about what your limits are, so that you can distance yourself from those who habitually and intentionally exceed them.

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