“Trust is built over a lifetime, and it only takes a minute to lose it.We have heard this phrase on many occasions, whether we are talking about a friendship, a relationship or even a brand that fails its customers at a given moment.
And it is that the trust It affects us all. And in one couple relationshipeven more so. We were recently talking about How to get over infidelityand today we want to focus on another aspect that has a significant impact on trust in a couple: lies.
If you have one couple who frequently liefrom important situations in the relationship to the most trivial issues, gradually creeps in and creates discomfort, resentment and anger. It does not lead to healthy situations, and it leads the relationship to failure. From the point of view of the person who faces the lies of the other, he will always be alert to know if what he hears is true or not.
Fortunately, people change, and maybe that partner who lies to us will realize the serious mistake he or she is making. If we are not dealing with a toxic personit is possible to reverse the situation. And if it is achieved and we decide to give a second chance, how should we act from now on?
First of all, you have to think that, once you have loses confidenceit must be recovered, and this is not a short process. It takes months or years, and The person who has suffered the lies is the one who has to do the exercise –if the other has changed- of trusting again.
Patience is the key
Many times along the way we will want to throw in the towel. We cannot trust from one day to the next, but we can trust as we see actions that indicate that the other person is on the right path. Therefore, to move the relationship forward, patience is needed above all.
Over time, imperceptibly but effectively, we will gain confidence.
Reproach is of no use
If we decide to forgive, it is with all the consequences. A full stop is made and the relationship begins on a different playing field, one in which it is of no use – and can even only cause harm. to recover the memory of a lie and use it as a throwing weapon. Just like in the infidelitiesin the event that our partner has cheated on us in other aspects, it must be left in the trunk of things to improve.
There is no point in pointing out lies. If we want to move the relationship forward, we must do so with the intention of building and not destroying.
Try not to be defensive
If our partner has lied to us in the past, and is in the process of improving this aspect of his or her life, you will have to do the exercise of trying not to be alert and defensive. Basically, because if this happens, your head will generate a mechanism for you to find errors and convince yourself that nothing has changed.
If you decide to step forward and give it a chance, do it with the open mind and with the intention that everything gets better.
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Couples therapy, an aid to strengthen the union
As we said at the beginning, the road to regaining trust and achieving a more united couple is long and complicated. But if both members of the couple want to continue and move forward, you have to think about building. Establish the foundations of the “new” relationship based on forgiveness and the commitment to love and your future.
On many occasions, to make this bitter pill more bearable, it is advisable to go to couples therapywhere a professional can guide you with the most appropriate guidelines and advice for each moment.
In Psychia We have a wide range of psychologists specializing in relationships, who, if you are in this situation, can help you online to achieve success and achieve a healthier relationship.
Why choose
- We have been leaders in online psychological care since 2012.
- First informational appointment free.
- Online therapy from 40 euros per session.
- Team of senior psychologists, with decades of experience.
- All the therapy we offer is via videoconference. 100% confidential.
- The same psychologist will attend to you throughout the treatment.
- At you do not lose the money for the sessions. If you cannot connect or are not there, the session is postponed to another day.
- Attention in Spanish, English and Catalan.