The end of the year is approaching and with it the holidays are also approaching. Christmas and New Year, dates that are tinged with family celebrations, however, what about those who have lost a loved one, and this year they will have an empty seat at the table? Immemory Funeral Home share some tips so that this new experience is not so painful.
Undoubtedly, for many, these celebrations include family gatherings and sharing with loved ones, however, currently, for thousands of homes around the world they will be the first festivities without a loved one, this can generate ambivalent feelings and be difficult dates to cope with. .
After the loss of a loved one, the celebrations remember the absence of those who are no longer there, which is why Inmemoria has generated five recommendations to deal with complex moments of coping.
What can I do this holiday season if I have lost someone dear to me?
According to Scarlett Isaacpsychologist from the Human Support area of the funeral home, “first of all, if you lost a loved one, it is normal for you to have feelings of rejection or withdrawal from the approaching festivities, since socially there is a lot of demand to be happy at these parties where constantly it shows ´the happiness of sharing with the family´»
And he adds that «when going through a duel, feelings of anguish, pain, loneliness can be generated, which obviously are not in accordance with what is demanded of us socially, not coinciding with the emotional state of those who are going through a duel.»
If you want to celebrate the holidays try enjoying it: celebrating does not mean that we have forgotten who we lost. He doesn’t feel guilty about partying and having times of joy.
Planning and anticipating the festivities: It is necessary to plan what you want to do, what decoration you want to put in your house, know who will attend the meals, if you will dedicate a time of commemoration for who is no longer there, what will be the responsibilities that you will assume and which ones will not be feel ready.
You should anticipate and prepare yourself emotionally for that day (not overexert yourself) and attend only the activities that you feel ready to do, taking care of what you feel, so that you and your family respect the decisions made.
Validate and express their emotions and feelings: After a loss, family parties are difficult to cope with, so you should know that you must be patient with yourself, keeping in mind that they will be dates where remembering will bring different feelings (anger, grief, frustration, guilt, joy, etc.), for this reason It is important to be able to recognize and validate your emotions.
It is necessary to identify and accept that you are part of the grieving process, therefore, give yourself patience and understanding.
Make a commemoration: by losing someone we love we can generate the fear of forgetting him, which is not true since we always carry those we love in our memories even though they are not physically present.
However, a nice way to remember is to be able to carry out a small commemorative act for those who are no longer there; make a toast, remember some anecdotes, review photographs to honor and remember with peace those who are no longer there.
It may be difficult initially, but it is a symbolic way of making those we love present who are physically no longer with us.
Avoid excessive use of alcohol or drugs: Excessive intake during festivities can generate an intensification of painful emotions, and can promote situations of emotional dysregulation that could make celebrations even more difficult.
If you need it, ask for help: If you feel that the celebrations and the mourning are being too painful and difficult, do not hesitate to ask your family and friends for help, and if it is still being complex, in the Funeraria Inmemoria Human Support team there are specialists in the legal and psychological field that can help you cope with this difficult time you are experiencing.
Asking for help when we need it is an act of courage.