How to save a relationship on the verge of divorce?
If in your marriage or courtship you can no longer stand each other but want to save the relationship, these tips from an expert are made for you.
Sometimes it makes you hang him, throw his rags out the window and never see him again, but then you remember that they have children together, a joint loan, that they have fought for the relationship for many years and that -deep down- maybe you still love him…
You may also like this: Would you throw a divorce party?
Meet the divorce parties, fashionable in the world @EseTonito @karenvinasco @maxmilfort http://t.co/FCE2yHsqyl pic.twitter.com/wOwVIMN3vS
– Your heart Viiiiibra (@Vibra1049) September 17, 2015
If this is your case, you will wonder how to save a relationship on the verge of separation? At Vibra we consulted with the psychologist André Didyme-Dome, who gave us these tips:
- Don’t play the victim role. A couple is the product of the relationship between two people and it takes two people to solve the problems or end the relationship. Taking the role of victim makes all the responsibility of the couple fall (for better or worse) on one person.
- Clearly determine what is wrong with the relationship. Make a list of the specific things that are failing. The better you can identify problems, the easier it is to identify possible solutions.
- Improve your physical appearance and cultivate your intellect. A person with low self-esteem neglects himself and causes the other person in the relationship to disrespect him. You can’t love another if you don’t love yourself. There are no ugly people but careless and there are no dumb people but lazy.
- Don’t be dependent. Autonomy is the key to maturity and is the result of high self-esteem. A person has enough with his own problems to have to take on someone else’s problems. A couple relationship consists of moments shared by two people who have their own lives. Depositing the entire existence to the other member of the couple is the key to disaster.
- Learn to forgive seriously. Whoever is without sin cast the first stone. We are human beings and we make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. That the other person does not know it does not mean that we have never made a mistake. It is true that we learn from the past, but living in the past can also bring bitterness and suffering. If you are not willing to leave the problems behind, it is better that the relationship ends.
- The key is communication. To solve problems, dialogue is necessary. And dialogue implies listening to the other, having empathy with the other, arguing for opinions and seeking consensual agreements. History has shown that violence only breeds more violence.
- Do not compare. Each couple is a different world, with its own problems, its own flaws and its own qualities. Don’t be envious of other people’s relationships, as they may only be wonderful on the surface. And if the relationships of others really are better, it is them and not you. Invest that energy in improving your relationship. Having a partner is not a competition.
- Fulfill what was agreed. If you are willing to change or give in to improve the relationship, do it and don’t let it remain in words. Act and do not leave things in that wait that is gradually ending the relationship.
- Trust your partner. Being in a relationship is an act of faith. If you don’t trust your partner, why have one? Remember that jealousy is a symptom of low self-esteem (if I am a miserable person, the other person is with me out of compassion). Although they are also a symptom of projected guilt (if I cheat on my partner, she can also cheat on me).
- The key is happiness. Does being in a relationship overwhelm you? Do they only meet to discuss and recriminate each other? Do they no longer have feelings for each other? Lost respect? Sometimes it’s better to finish than to try to save something that doesn’t make sense to save.
If you are interested in this topic, you can also read: Do you know who makes the decision of a divorce?
Did you know that we are more likely to ask for a divorce when we live in marriage? https://t.co/fbldH4a05E pic.twitter.com/t1iW16ucIX
– Your heart Viiiiibra (@Vibra1049) October 29, 2015
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