Although human beings are characterized by being social and by our tendency to relate to each other, sometimes we behave in a way selfishSome people, far from being selfish only from time to time, make selfishness one of their main personality traits.
What does it mean to be a selfish person?
The concept of selfishness comes from the egowhich we can define as an excess of love for oneself. Based on this, the RAE defines selfishness as the «excessive appreciation «that a person has on his own and that makes him pay excessive attention to his own interest, without worrying about that of others.»
In psychology Selfishness is defined as a predisposition to behave in a certain way in order to satisfy one's own needs and interests. By behaving in this way, the needs and interests of others are no longer taken into account.
Therefore, selfishness is a phenomenon that significantly influences the way we behave. we relate to others. As a result, social psychology has it in its sights, since it is a topic of interest to research.
The ego has been a hot topic in psychology and has, in fact, given rise to another widely used term: egocentrism. However, it is worth noting that although egoism and egocentrism have things in common, they are not the same phenomenon.
While an egoist may see that his or her behavior will harm others or prevent them from improving their situation, an egocentric person is so focused on himself or herself that he or she will not even consider the impact of his or her actions on others.
Egocentrism is often present in children's behaviour. In the first years of life, there is no ability to think abstractly. Therefore, children do not take into account how their actions will affect other people.
However, in the selfishness Yes, there is an ability to put oneself in someone else's shoes, but from a more intellectual than empathetic point of view.
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Are there different types of selfishness?
It is logical and common for human beings to seek their own benefit in everything they do. For this reason, it is necessary to distinguish between several types of selfishness:
- Self-centered egoism. In this case the person only looks out for himself and uses people for his own benefit. interest and benefit. Clearly, they are not going to take into account how their actions may affect others. In other words, these people's ego is so high that they are not capable of feeling empathy.
- Conscious or neutral selfishness. This kind of selfishness is what we need to have a emotional balanceWe need to think about ourselves in order to survive physically and mentally. Sometimes we have to be selfish with ourselves and put ourselves first if we want everything else to go well. Through this conscious selfishness we improve our self-esteem as we learn to trust ourselves.
- Altruistic selfishness. This type is characterized by doing enjoyable things and that also contributes benefits to other people. It's about being altruistsdoing good things for others and for ourselves that make us feel good.
We can see that selfishness, depending on how you look at it, can be a more or less negative factor. In the end, it will depend on each person and the degree of concern for both their own well-being and that of others.
How can we recognize a selfish person?
There are a number of signs that can help us recognize a selfish person:
- Predisposition to psychopathy. People who present high levels of psychopathy have a poor ability to empathize with others. Therefore, they suffer less discomfort when they see that other people are suffering or having a bad time. This does not mean that they are always selfish or constantly harming others. They usually learn to live in society and to respect the rights of citizens.
- They prioritize their needsWhen we plan our actions, we tend to do so by focusing our thoughts on satisfying our needs and the goals that motivate us. Sometimes we attribute these needs to ourselves and other times to others. Sometimes, we prioritize some before others, since not all of them can be satisfied at the same time. When we behave by prioritizing our actions above everything else, regardless of the consequences, we are being selfish.
- They don't put themselves in other people's shoes. In most cases we are aware that we have to be empathetic in order to help people. However, there are situations in which we are not aware that we are “sweeping for home” without thinking about others. There are those who do know what they are doing, but they do not care as long as they get benefits, they are people selfish by nature.
What do I do if I think I'm a selfish person?
If you think any of the above signs match your behaviors, you can ask for help to a mental health professional. Many times we are selfish without wanting to or we are aware of it and we cannot change our behavior.
A psychologist will help you analyze where this selfish tendency comes from. He or she will establish a series of guidelines and tools that will help you change your actions. This will improve not only your well-being but also that of the people around you.
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