Jealousy… Damn jealousy… Is there a way to overcome this evil that wears down relationships and can lead to failure?
It is impossible not to feel jealousy, and it is even something natural, so natural that children and some animals feel them; However, they can be bad for each member of the couple and for the relationship itself, which can end or become a real hell.
Jealousy is inscribed in our genes. From the point of view of evolution, they have an important function for both sexes: men take care of the sexual fidelity of their women to be sure, at least in part, that their descendants, in whom they invest their energy, are really their children. Women, meanwhile, are interested in their partners not having fun with other women and not leaving them alone with their common child, psychologist Felicitas Heyne explained to National Geographic magazine.
That they are something natural does not imply that we have to live with them and with the problems they bring. If you think that jealousy is the reason why your relationship is not working and you want to overcome it, take note of the tips we ask psychologist André Didyme-Dome:
1. Love yourself
Generally, jealous people have low self-esteem, they believe that their partner is going to go with anyone and that they are with them out of regret.
2. Have reality principle
A mature relationship implies understanding that any relationship can end. One of the members falls in love with another person, the love ends, etc. In childhood relationships it is thought that everything is eternal and magical, but in real life it is not. People die and love ends.
3. Do not be unfaithful
Many people become jealous because they themselves are unfaithful and come to this reflection: if I cheat on him and he doesn’t realize it, maybe he cheats on me too. In other words, jealous people often do it to cover up their feelings of guilt caused by infidelity.
4. Accept them
Jealousy is embedded in our biology and it is normal to feel it. In fact, many psychologists say that if you have never felt jealous of your partner, it is because there is something strange about you. Or do you like relationships? swingers or you are a pressure cooker who represses his feelings until they explode in often dangerous ways.
5. Jealousy is communication
Sometimes «jealousy» is not really jealousy, but a technique that a partner has to draw attention in a dramatic way and say «here I am, love me!». Put aside the Mexican melodramas and communicate with your partner in a direct and mature way.
You are jealous? Have they guarded you? Tell us what is the worst scene of jealousy that you have starred in or witnessed: write it in the comments of our social networks.