Do you feel overwhelmed by the constant need to control your environment and the people around you? Although control may seem necessary to achieve stability and security, it can actually be a source of stress and anxiety. The excessive need to manage situations and people without having a minute of relaxation can negatively affect mental health and interpersonal relationships.
What is the need for control?
It refers to the tendency that some people have to try to control their environment and the people around themin an attempt to prevent unforeseen events.
It can manifest itself in different ways, such as the desire to control the behavior of others, the outcomes of certain life events, or emotions and thoughts.
Although it is considered a normal and natural response in situations of uncertainty or stress, it can become a big problem when it becomes a pattern. This can significantly affect a person's mental health and impact the way they relate to others.
Causes of the need for control
When a person is unable to live through uncertain situations with serenity, feels an excessive sense of responsibility and cannot leave certain more banal things to spontaneity, he or she is really suffering from this problem.
The causes may be related to various aspects:
- Traumatic experiences or abuse: Generally, these types of people are afraid of losing their self-control, due to situations they have experienced in their past.
- Anxiety: Anxiety can make a person feel the need to control their environment to reduce their level of uncertainty and reduce their level of anxiety.
- Low self-esteem: A person with low self-esteem may want to manage their environment to feel more secure and valuable.
- Perfectionism taken to the extreme: When the limits of a person's perfection are extreme, it can make them feel like nothing is enough, and if something escapes their control, they feel like it will go wrong.
- Fear of abandonment: It is an irrational fear of being rejected by society. People with an excessive need for control sometimes do this to avoid failure and consequently not being accepted by others.
- Emotional sensitivity: Sometimes the fear of experiencing painful emotions leads to domination over everything in order to avoid negative sensations.
Online therapy to overcome the need for control
Those who present this problem They tend to feel anxious, stressed and upset when things don't go as planned. This can seriously affect mental health.
Radical all-or-nothing thinking, failure to delegate tasks to others, or setting specific guidelines for how others should act can damage the way others relate to you.
Working to correct these behaviors and prevent the consequences that a person may experience is necessary. online therapy offers a variety of benefits for those looking to manage their condition. One of the most important benefits is the convenience and flexibility of being able to receive therapy from anywhere and at any time. This It allows people who suffer from excessive control to plan their therapy and carry it out from a place where they control external factors, which reduces your anxiety and allows you to relax and delve deeper into certain topics.
At we have been experts in online therapy since 2012. Throughout our career We have helped more than 1,600 patients overcome various emotional problems. If you are interested in seeking the help of an online psychologist, you can request a free first session by clicking on the button below.
Try a free session with us
Manage your need for control with the professional help of a psychologist.
Make an appointment
Negative consequences
People who have this excessive need to dominate situations tend to have problems with anxiety and stress. The fact of feeling that they are not in control of their environment, of those around them and even of their own emotions, makes them experience a very harmful insecurity. This can undermine their self-esteem, leading them to have constant thoughts about the fear of being disappointed by other people, of not being accepted by others, or of showing themselves to be vulnerable.
At the other extreme, this need for control can lead to manipulative and dominant behaviors, which can damage interpersonal relationships and drive people away.
Learning to let go of excess control
- The first thing to do is raise awareness about the problem. Knowing how to discern whether our need for control is dominating our life can often be confusing. It is important to gain real perspective and be able to detect whether we are exhibiting this behavior.
- Once you have completed step one, delve into your emotions. Try to internally understand what fears are leading you to behave this way. Evaluate whether they are rational or not.
- Once you have detected the intruder in your head, challenge him. Replace negative, fear-based thoughts with calmer ones.
- Accept that there are things that are beyond your control, and that is normal. Learning to live with uncertainty is very necessary.
- Identify all your imperfections and embrace them. None of us is perfect, we all make mistakes. We must accept that this is the case and understand that many times plans fail and people, consciously or unconsciously, can disappoint us because they do not fulfill what we expect. We should not suffer for it.
- Try to work your body and your mindwork on relaxation and learn not to suffer.
- Not everything has to be bad. An unexpected change can also be a positive thing.
Fostering self-confidence
Self-confidence is essential to reduce the need for control. When people are confident in their own abilities and decisions, they are less likely to feel insecure and do not need manage all environmental factors. It is important practice self-acceptance and self-knowledgeThis means accepting your strengths and weaknesses, and learning to trust your abilities and judgments.
It is also helpful to set realistic goals and work towards them consistently, this will help you feel more capable and confident. In addition, you should work on practicing positive affirmations.
Conclusion
An excessive need for control can affect the way we relate to others and our own mental health. Working on the right strategies can be very helpful in overcoming this problem and preventing more damaging consequences. Going to online therapy can help us in the process and allow us to conduct sessions from a place that gives us the peace of mind necessary to talk about our fears. The help of an online psychologist allows us to treat each person's case in a personalized way, and to know which tools are the most effective to overcome it.
Why choose
- We have been leaders in online psychological care since 2012.
- First informational appointment free.
- Online therapy from 40 euros per session.
- Team of senior psychologists, with decades of experience.
- All the therapy we offer is via videoconference. 100% confidential.
- The same psychologist will attend to you throughout the treatment.
- At you do not lose the money for the sessions. If you cannot connect or are not there, the session is postponed to another day.
- Attention in Spanish, English and Catalan.