Frustration is a feeling that usually appears when the results of our actions They are not the desired onesIn the words of the RAE, frustration is a «feeling of dissatisfaction or failure.»
In psychology we can define it as the feeling that emerges in an individual when can't satisfy a desireIt is unpleasant, but it is also a natural sensation that must be accepted.
It is necessary to accept that we are not going to achieve everything we set out to do in life. Multiple factors intervene in our decisions and the paths that lead us (or not) to a goal. Precisely because of its inevitability, it is essential that we learn to mitigate the negative effects of this emotion.
How do we usually respond to this feeling?
People respond in two different ways When frustration comes your way:
- Active response: One of the answers is impulsiveness, wanting to overcome this setback through action, either by searching for alternatives or channeling that anger into any of your hobbies. There is a negative way in this section, which is aggressive impulsiveness, harmful both to yourself and to the people around you.
- Flight response: Frustration can cause immobility in those people who have the idea that failure to achieve objectives is due to a personal failure. Failure to meet expectations can be influenced by external factors, but you can always learn from possible failures for future experiences.
Types of frustration
Frustration is divided into two classes depending on the control we have over the situation:
- Frustration with internal locus of control: This type of frustration comes from the belief that we are capable of controlling and freely deciding about our lives. The degree of control is attributed to skills, abilities, competencies or behaviors that characterize individuals who are more independent, responsible and aware of their abilities.
- Frustration with external locus of control: In this category, people get frustrated because they do not achieve their goals due to external factors. God, luck, the environment that surrounds them… Call it X, but according to their conception, they are not capable of handling situations. The perception of not being able to control anything plunges them into uncertainty, affecting their self-esteem levels.
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How to increase frustration tolerance?
Tolerance to frustration, pain, contrary opinions… are limits that vary depending on the person and the moment they are in. In the specific case of frustration, this also comes into play. the importance given to this objective specifically.
A low tolerance is often linked to a feeling of discomfort high, which interferes with personal life and the way of relating to people. This discomfort leads us to immobilitybecause we cannot stand things not going the way we want.
Fortunately, improving frustration tolerance is possible with the following tips:
- The first thing is recognize and accept frustration as a part of life that we can find along the way. If you are unable to identify or control this emotion, you need to ask for help. professional help.
- Open up. Have right to express yourself in the way you consider and with those people with whom you have the necessary trust as to detail your feelings.
- Redefine your goals. Knowing the limitations of each one will help us establish some realistic goals. By completing them, we will see that we are capable of achieving goals and increasing the difficulty of the challenges.
- Arm yourself with patience and calm. With our heads spinning we cannot see clear alternatives. The way out is in take a step back, take a breath and think the maximum number of possibilities to choose the best one.
- Identify your irrational beliefs. Too often it is the negative and intrusive thoughts which increases this low tolerance for frustration. Do we not see ourselves capable of facing this situation? We avoid it so as not to have to live with that rage and anger when we do not achieve it.
- Analyze and learn from the situation. The last step to get on the path of acceptance of frustration is take mistakes in a more internal than external way. Mistakes are human and extraordinary learning can be gained from them (internal), regardless of people's opinions (external).
Classes of frustration
In all areas of life, we define a series of keys that must be met. There are four types of frustration which we will explain in the following paragraphs.
We want to always feel happy and content. We do not accept that there must be times when sadness and stress can come into our lives. Embrace each emotion as it will help you adapt to each situation that may flood into your life.
The expectations generated in our imagination by a romantic and perfect love. This idealization can frustrate many of our relationships. No relationship of any kind is ideal, all have their bumps and bad moments that even strengthen the bond if they are overcome.
Their ideal job was not as they had imagined it to be. This feeling has similarities with the beginnings of some students and their university degrees. There are many students who give up along the way, disappointed with what they have found in the classroom.
High self-demands or difficulties in reconciling family and work are part of these intrusive thoughts that can distort reality.
This type of frustration appears when our sexual needs are not met. Communication as a couple is essential to be able to find a solution.
Learning to manage frustration can save you from having a bad time with future experiences. Failure is an inherent part of being human and failure only indicates that you are getting closer to achieving success. You must not allow frustration to defeat you and subdue you.
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