Sometimes there are feelings like hatred and resentment that, In addition to feeding us negative emotions, they do not let us be happy.
What is hatred and resentment?
Hate It is a negative feeling that human beings can experience towards other people. It is perverse, destructive and counterproductive. It has the meaning of not to tolerate someone, a thing or a phenomenon for some reason. For example, if a person hates another person, he or she most likely wishes that person did not exist.
On the other hand, Resentment is the feeling of hostility, or great resentment, towards someone who has offended or harmed us.
All people who hate or hold a grudge against a person usually have an underlying reason that has awakened that negative feeling very strongly. These people think that by hating someone they are hurting them, although in reality it is quite the opposite. they hurt themselves.
The consequences of feeding it
Hate and resentment are two deep and powerful feelings that once they are inside us, they unbalance our mind and body. In fact, it happens with any negative feeling, If it is present for many years it ends up turning against us.
Resentment and hatred They end up creating such deep resentment, based on the need to say something that has never been able to be expressed. The person feels disappointed and begins to develop negative feelings towards the person. As time goes by, these thoughts increase in intensity and end up causing serious problems such as anxiety or psychosomatic illnesses.
The fact is that if we live with these negative emotions inside us, it will not let us be completely happy. In this way, apart from having negative feelings inside you, you deny yourself your own happiness.
Although it may be difficult, it is best to learn to work with them and manage them since they do not generate anything positive. These emotions They harm us and destroy us physically and mentally.
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Is there any point in feeling these emotions?
Hating or thinking about something that has already happened is pointless. Constantly thinking about the harm done to us, but not learning to deal with it, only makes us fall into toxic thoughts. You have to learn to let go and forget that pain.
We cannot live wishing evil on others, even if it sounds obvious, we cannot use the excuse of “it was they who started it.” Hate is not quenched by more hate. In fact, if we continue to hate more and more, we will end up in a spiral of incredible physical and verbal violence.
Therefore, resentment and hatred are of no use. They are obstacles that get in the way of maintaining a relationship with someone, whether it be friendship or love. We interpret it as an insult that, over time, we have been building up in our minds. It is a serious problem that can affect our relationships with others.
How to get rid of resentment?
To eliminate resentment, the first step is identify that feeling. Getting angry or having an argument with someone, which is a feeling that will go away with time, is not the same as feeling a need for revenge for what they have done to us. If our brain starts to have terrible imaginations in relation to that person, we can say that we have resentment.
Once the emotion is identified, it touches on a part that is not usually very popular.: communication. It is essential to talk to that person and express what has bothered us or why, to get what we have inside out. This is a good attempt to get the relationship back to normal. Forgiveness helps stabilize our interactions with others.
If for whatever reason we cannot talk to that person, there is another possibility: to vent to someone we trust. When we talk to that person, explain what happened and let it out in a healthy way, they will most likely empathize with us and that will make us feel better.
To live we have to accept what has happened. Sometimes the pain we feel is so great that it prevents us from accepting things that are already part of the past and we have to think that it is already in the past and we don't have to dwell on it anymore. We all make mistakes sometimes, the important thing is to recognize it.
However, it should be noted that accepting is not the same as forgiving. We have to accept what has happened and also make decisions that improve the situation. Communication is essential to fix a situation (but always in a healthy way).
But there are also times when we are not able to fix things, either on the part of the person who does not want to accept their mistakes or on our part if they have hurt us a lot. Therefore, It is best to separate from that personeven if it is a drastic measure, in the long term it will be the best. Many times it is better to be alone than in bad company.
How to combat hate?
Since hate and resentment are not the same emotion, the way in which they are managed is also different.
- The first thing is accept that hate is a negative emotionwhether temporary or permanent.
- Take time to think and reflect about the situation that has brought us to this point before acting impulsively.
- We cannot allow other people's negative feelings to affect us. to our life.
- Talk to the person towards which we feel hatred and vent.
- Forgiveeven if it is difficult, if we do not forgive, that negative feeling will remain within us.
- Practicing sports to escape from negative emotions.
- If you need it, ask for advice to someone you trust. Sometimes until we talk to someone and they tell us things, we are not able to see the reality.
- Read books or other activities that contribute to your personal growth.
Finally, if you feel that you do not feel capable or you have already tried many times and you do not know how to manage it, the best thing is to go to a specialist.
At our team of psychologists will help you combat hatred and resentment in a simple way.
Remember that the first session is free. Try it!