We often lose our temper more than usual, we are in a bad mood or we do things without thinking. This is due to the anger and aggression that our body expresses.
What is anger?
According to psychology, Anger is a natural response that is part of the group of aggressive feelings or moods.as well as rage, revenge, anger or hatred.
It is a aggressive reaction immediately in the face of a threat or an impediment that we want to remove from our path.
When anger achieves its goal effectively and quickly, a feeling of energy release and satisfaction flourishes. This is because, If we feed the anger, the aggressive response gets what it wants and consequently, it dilutes.
Sometimes anger does not appear before the aggressive response, He does it when he fails.
Attacking is an action that we do with great activation to achieve a goal. And by assault we do not mean physically, but verbally.
Anger can be the answer to frustrationThat is, what makes us angry is the failure of the efforts we have made to achieve our goal. Since we have not achieved what we wanted, we will think about what has happened, about the people or situations that have prevented us from achieving our goal. All of this fuels our anger.
It may be that you externalize that anger and blame others or that the internalize and blame yourself.
Anger due to frustration can increase and reach become angryan emotion that is aimed at identifying and destroying the culprit of our failure. When we reach this state, it is very common for us to resort to violence.
Are anger and aggression the same thing?
Normally, anger is related to aggression when it's not the same.
Anger It's an emotion and it is something that, if we do not express it, its effects pass, It is not something lasting. However, Aggression is a behavior that can be transformed into a conscious behavior and aimed at harming another person.
Frustration leads to anger and This poorly managed anger turns into aggressive behavior. When this happens, it is usually a reason for consultation, since having aggressive behavior leads to social problems.
The goal is to regulate anger
As human beings that we are, feeling anger is normal. It is an emotional reaction that is not subject to moral judgment, it can be at the service of both good and evil, It doesn't have to be bad.
What is wrong is justifying our actions and behaviors with our feelings, if this were the case everything would be justified. The goal is to learn to regulate anger.
Understanding anger does not mean justifying violence. We must not be aggressive, we must use the power that anger gives us to respect ourselves and to gain respect, but also to achieve our goals.
Causes of anger
As we have already mentioned, anger is an activation of an emotional response to frustration, which implies a perception of injustice and entails an attempt at reparation.
Its three components are:
This feeling It appears when you do not achieve a goal that you had set for yourself. You feel that all the effort and commitment you have put in has been in vain because you have not managed to achieve your goal. This emotion sadness is added because instead of achieving it and winning, you feel like you are losing.
- The perception of injustice
This is subjective. You have to ask yourself: What is unfair about this situation for you? Probably. Your answer is that others do not take you into account. That is why you feel that your claims and demands are justified.
- Compensation or reparation to restore justice
If you feel it's an injustice, you'll do whatever it takes to right it. If you can't fix it, you'll start to feel like getting revenge.something very similar to anger. Revenge It is planned and carried out in a strategic and rational manner. However, immediate aggressive reactions are impulsive in nature and form an explosion of rage.
How to control anger and aggression?
- Take some time: Count to ten before acting and you will see how your temper will calm down. This is very beneficial for impulsive people who do not know how to control themselves.
- Put distance: Take a break from the person you've had the problem with until your frustration subsides. This allows us to better plan what to do about the situation we're angry about.
- Exercise: Practicing physical activities can be a way of escape, especially if we are about to explode. Walking, running, going to the gym, taking a stroll, going up or down the stairs may not seem like it, but it allows us to release our adrenaline completely.
- Think before you say anything: If you don't, you're likely to say something you'll regret later. You can use writing to vent or talk to someone you trust.
- Find solutions: Instead of focusing on what made us angry, we must work on finding new solutions to resolve the issue. We cannot reach an agreement without first listening to the other person.
- Laugh: Sometimes using humor can relieve the tension you feel. It should be noted that sarcasm is not an option here, as it will only make the situation worse and hurt the other person's feelings.
- Practice relaxation techniques: Relaxing is a good way to control what bothers us. Doing breathing exercises, thinking about a scene that relaxes us, cooking, listening to music, doing yoga or painting can be some options.
How do we know when to see a specialist?
It is normal that when we are angry, rage appears since It is put in place to defend us from different situations that arise in our lives.
Not knowing how to manage anger It leads to a bad relationship with others and on a behavioral level because:
- We don't have enough tools to express our anger
- Nobody has put limits on you When expressing your anger or there are people around you who have had this type of behavior
- The containment makes you explode
When this happens, it is best to go to a specialist to help you manage your emotions better.
In the first session is free. Try it!