Whether due to age, illness or accidents, animals They also die. And although veterinarians can do great work, they do not work miracles. In many cases, even the best medical techniques cannot save your pet's life.
Animals end up becoming another member of the family that offers a unconditional love. For this reason, his loss is very painful. It is not easy to overcome the fact that your soul mate is no longer there and that he will not return. You will surely sink into a deep sadness. sadness thinking that the good times will not be repeated and that you will no longer have their affection.
The 4 phases of loss
Many people won't understand, but anyone who has been through it knows how hard it is to lose your pet. It's true that each person suffers in a different way and deals with grief differently, but even so, they get along. four emotions:
- The denial. You can't accept that your pet is gone. There will be no more walks, no more brushing, no more fun times at mealtimes. You won't feel their love again. You may even feel that having another new pet would be a kind of infidelity or betrayal of your deceased pet.
- The blameYou feel guilty and responsible for the situation. This is an unjustified feeling that only causes a more complicated internal mourning. It is not your fault that, for example, your pet had an illness that it could not overcome. You may also blame yourself for not having spent more time with it when it was alive.
- AngerAnother unjustified feeling is being angry with your vet because he couldn't save your pet or with yourself because your pet got sick even though you've always given it the best care.
- Sadness. It is an emotion that you must deal with as soon as possible so that it does not end up consuming you.
Despite these emotional phases that you experience, in the end the truth always comes. acceptance and you keep the good times and the love you felt for your animal. It will always be in your heart.
How to overcome the death of your pet
Here are some tips to help you deal with your pet's death in the healthiest way possible without drowning in grief:
- Your pain is normal. You shouldn't worry about being sad about your pet's death, as spending many years with it makes it a very painful loss. What you feel is logical.
- Accept it. Be honest with yourself. You are sad, don't deny your pain. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you will get over it.
- Dialogue. Don't hide your feelings or avoid talking about them, because that's exactly what you need to do: vent to a loved one or someone you trust in order to get over it. Cry if you need to. Recognizing and sorting out your feelings and thoughts will help you a lot.
- Keep a diary or make a scrapbook. Writing down your emotions and ideas is another way to express yourself, whether it's in a diary, writing a poem, a song… You can also draw or make a scrapbook with photographs.
- Ignore what others say. “It was just an animal,” “How could you possibly feel so bad about the death of a pet?” “It’s not like it was a person.” You will probably come across people who don’t understand what you are going through since they have never had a pet. It is not worth getting angry with them. Don’t let their comments affect you and remember that there are many people who are suffering the same situation as you.
- Say goodbye to your pet. If you need to, some options are to bury your animal or cremate it, either on farms, mountains… In fact, there are animal cemeteries.
- The dilemma of sacrifice. Sometimes there is no other option than to put your pet down because it is suffering and the vet advises it. You are the one who has the last word, the one who decides. But remember that it is not justifiable to prolong its suffering because you do not want to lose it. Also, seeing your pet fade away is very hard. Think carefully about whether or not you are prepared to witness it. You are not worse off if you do not stay to see it and, in fact, it is totally understandable.
- Tell it to the children. Opening up to small children is difficult and something that is in your hands. However, if you decide to tell them, be completely honest about what has happened to the pet and use the right words. A “he’s gone” can raise hopes that he will one day return. Don’t hide your feelings when they are around, and don’t let them hide theirs either.
- To have or not to have another pet? It's a question that has surely crossed your mind and to which you have no answer, because you don't know if it's a good idea. Be clear that, in order to create new emotional bonds with another animal, you must first overcome the grief of the death of the previous one. As a recommendation, don't do it if you haven't gotten over it yet. It's a very common mistake to use another animal to try to replace the one that's gone. In addition, each member of the family may need different times to overcome the grief and want to have another new pet.
- Be careful when introducing a new petIf you live with other animals in the house, it will take time for them to get used to the new member of the family. You will have to be patient at first until there is a balance.
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- If you have more pets, keep your usual routinel with them. Animals also experience the loss of a companion, so maintaining their routines, exercises, and even increasing playtime will benefit both them and you.
- Avoid comparison. Just as people are different, so are pets. Don't compare the new pet with the old one.
- Always keep the good memoriesthere are surely many, and don't focus on the fact that your pet will not come back. No matter how much time passes, it will always be with you.
- The pain is temporary. The pain will go away, but your pet will stay with you in your heart.
- Volunteering with animalsA good way to take refuge in love and solidarity is to make donations to animal shelters or participate in volunteer activities.
- Take care of yourself. Wallowing in sadness causes you to lose energy and feel low in mood. Take care of your physical and emotional needs to overcome this situation. Maintain good sleeping habits, eat a healthy diet, exercise, and spend time with people who care about you.
Dealing with the grief of the animal that has been with you for years
Many people cry incessantly, others cannot accept the death of their pet, some isolate themselves socially, and another option is to keep the mind and body busy to avoid thinking about it. It is also very common that, if you have suffered such a loss, you avoid those situations that remind you of your pet, for example, passing by the park where you were walking your dog.
Everyone is forced to face that duel At some point in life, sadness and pain end up getting better. The problem comes when you are stressed or you are carrying the weight of other serious problems at the same time. Then, your sadness will be very intense and can even lead to depression, so it would be good for you to contact a psychologist so that, through therapy, he or she can help you.
As time goes by, the pain will ease, as will the grief, but you will never forget your pet. When you get over the grief, you will know and be ready to open your home to a new animal in need of a loving family.
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