Grief after a breakup: what to do and what not to do – Online Psychologists

If you've recently gone through a breakup, you've probably asked yourself the following questions a thousand times: «How can I move on?», «How can I forget him?», «How do I get him out of my head?»

Once again we are going to bring psychology closer to your life and explain to you what you should and shouldn't do when your relationship breaks up.

When a relationship ends It is normal to experience what we call “grief.” The person has not died by any means, but emotionally it is a loss. In short, this means that it will be very difficult for us to turn the page.

But what happens? What happens is that in addition to being an emotional duel, It is completely reversible because the person is still alive.therefore, for this very reason it is much more complicated to turn the page. We know that he is still here, that he is still living his life, and that sometimes hurts us a lot.

This question is often asked when we are going through a breakup. We are tired of crying, of thinking that that person will no longer be with us, and of suffering so much.

We often ask ourselves: Why me? Has he been cheating on me all this time? And no, I probably haven't fooled you.

We have to understand that this is part of the game of love, that means that when we love, Just like we can suddenly be friends and a feeling may be born or a very intense passion that makes love blossom, He can also suddenly leave and that doesn't mean it has to be anything bad.

They are simply feelings and emotions that change, just like us and our needs. That is why we also It is important to follow through on our commitments and be true to ourselves. If it can be parallel to the person next to us it is perfect, but When the paths begin to be perpendicular, the relationships begin to become misaligned. Therefore, we have to understand that love, although it is very painful, is also very rewarding and just as it can come, it can go.

We tend to fall again and again into things that we should never do. For this reason, it is very important that you keep these six things in mind:

As much as we are interested and even want to see if he appears with another person, if he is in a relationship, if he is having a good or bad time, we should not look at his social networks. Nowadays that is very simple, you just have to hit the “unfollow” button or mute their stories.

We think that this gives us information about how much that person loved us or how much we meant to that person, but that is not the case. In reality, what we do is keep ourselves hooked on that person, so it is forbidden to look at social networks at least for a while.

Now you might be wondering, “Well, if I have things from him, what do I do?” Well, If we have to give things back It is best not to do it personally. We can ask a family member or friend for help in making the exchange of things. If you do it yourself you will probably still feel attached to that person.

After a breakup, it is best not to talk to each other to ask how you are or how your day was, how your exam was, etc. No matter how much they tell us, we should not do that because it keeps us hooked on the other person. If it's not the exam, it's the holidays, it's the birthday and so on, so we won't end up separating from that person.

If I know that he is walking down a particular street, we don't have to go there just to see if we can cross paths and start a conversation. We should not make surprise encounters.

Don't try to find out where it moveswhere he goes or what he does. Don't pry or hide behind a bush. I assure you that this will not bring you anything good because in the end we will become obsessed.

This is usually done through third parties or mutual friends. We usually ask how he is or if he is with someone. In fact, When someone tries to give you information about your ex-partner You have to say no, that you are on an ex-partner's «diet» and that's why you don't want to know anything.

One of the things we have to strengthen above all during this time breakup to turn the page, close that story and move on with our life, that is, forget our ex, It is something that can be done in three simple steps:

We don't know how to be alone because we have often spent our free time or our hobbies only with that person and most of the time not even with friends. Therefore, It is a time when we have to learn to enjoy that solitude.

Obviously, that loneliness is totally uncertainty, we do not know it and it makes us uncomfortable, If you haven't gone through it, you're going to feel completely useless, but that's okay, Now it is about discovering and generating new passions in this solitude.

We have to learn to lose, to know how to handle it. Love escapes our control and cannot be as we want itJust as we cannot control sadness or anger, we cannot control love either. The key is to learn how to manage it.

You have to be yourself, enjoy your time, your independence and really ask yourself if in the relationship you were being two or you were being one. A great reflection that will make you answer many questions.

I hope this article has helped you close that door and if you still have doubts, our psychologists at Psychia They will solve them for you.

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