'Gray stone metaphor'. Solutions for dealing with narcissistic people – Online Psychologists

Surely throughout your life you have come across many people about whom you have thought that they have a very high ego And I'm sorry to say that there are still many people you'll have to deal with. People who consider themselves superior, who always want to be the center of attention and who you can't contradict.

It would be very easy to end the relationship and never see them again, unfortunately this does not happen in many cases because they are people who You can't disengage so easily, such as a family member, coworkers or your own boss. In fact, it is normal to require help in online therapy to cope with it.

However, there is a technique To make these conversations more bearable, it is about the ''metaphor of the grey stone'.

This is a technique for interacting with manipulative or intrusive people. We all exhibit narcissistic behavior at some point, but only a few show a personality disorder that is included in the Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM-5). Some of the types we can encounter are people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, toxic people without a diagnosis, with antisocial traits…

Therefore, to deal with these people and not fall prey to their ego, we must become the most boring people that could be found. Being uninteresting, giving short answers and not showing any kind of emotion when listening to him speak. These types of people live for and to be listened to, to feel praised and The more disinterested you are and the more boring you appear, the less room you will give him to control and manipulate you.

Why grey stone? It's a question you might be thinking. Well, this technique wants to simulate what a simple grey stone would be in our life, something insignificant, to which we don't pay attention, that is the objective of the metaphor, be so boring and so unstimulating like her.

You must keep in mind that this technique It doesn't always work and that you should know who you can and cannot use it withIt's a good strategy with people you see often, little by little they will notice the lack of interest and will see that they have nothing to feed on, so with luck, they will forget about you.

But not all personal situations are the same and in some cases you may fear for your own safety. That is why if you notice the obsession, leading to harassment, the best option is to seek legal advice and alert the security forces, as this is a much more serious matter.

Something you should keep in mind at all times is that narcissistic people seek attention and they don't care how it is carried out. Playing along in their conversation or contradicting them is what they seek, so you should keep a cool head and not jump at any attack. If our reaction is anger, the only thing we are showing is that they have power and influence over us.

Keeping ourselves apart, No matter how much it costs us, it is the most appropriate thing to do, in this way he will look for another victim to bother and take advantage of.

As we have already mentioned, depending on the situation you find yourself in, you may have to live with that person more or less. An alternative is online or telephone communication, This allows you to control the extension times that you set, avoiding moments of stress.

Short answers, without justifications and without giving rise to other topics It is a surefire strategy to end a conversation as quickly as possible.

Unless absolutely necessary Don't approach first to start a conversationThere are times when there is no other option, however, you can carry out the previous strategy: short and concise answers to finish as soon as possible. If it is a work conversation, limit yourself to being objective and not dropping your opinion, otherwise you could be manipulated in the future with what you have told him.

If something characterizes this type of personality is that They think that everyone is at their service and owes them something. This perception is something that arises in childhood, due to having been spoiled or, on the contrary, having great deficiencies.

That is why the best way to 'bring them down' is treat them like everyone else and denying them everything that would put them above the rest. All of this must be handled with respect and setting our limits, although this will always try to get around them.

Don't tell him under any circumstances what you are doing. The purpose of the grey stone is to make the manipulative person lose interest in youso offering him information, of any kind, is not the option. Much less tell him things about your personal life, that will serve to feed him and want to get more and more information.

These are some of the tips that we offer you but it is very important to keep in mind that the gray stone technique is a alternative to avoid further damagebut it should not be seen as a permanent solution to an abusive relationship.

Our mental health is more important than a job and, sometimes, a family bond that only brings headaches. That is why ending it in a sharp way is, generally, the only solution. If you feel identified with this situation, you can make an appointment with our team of online psychologists and we will help you. We will help manage these episodes that are causing you so much harm.